Are you TATT? (Tired all the time)

So you don't have a sleep problem as such, you just feel tired all the time and lacking in energy, what could be the reason? With 1 in 5 people reporting to be feeling like this, it is a real problem and seems to be growing.

The three most common reasons fortunately are the easiest to fix.

1 Diet - constantly reaching for a the caffeine or sugar to get through the day has a detrimental effect on your health as these both cause your blood sugar levels to fluctuate and your body has to work hard to keep these levels stable. A well balanced diet full of healthy whole foods will go a long way to helping you feel more energized.  Also eating healthily will help control your weight as being over-weight can contribute to feelings of tiredness.

2 Sleep - not a surprising factor, but in this fast paced world the time set aside for sleep is being eroded away. Work out how much sleep you really are getting and make time for more. You should be aiming for around 8 hours each night. Please look back on previous posts in this blog for ideas and suggestions to help you make sleep a priority.

3 Exercise - although this appears to be counter-intuitive, (why do you need to do more physical activity if you are feeling tired?) exercise has been shown to increase energy levels. Small amounts of regular exercise will not only improve your health, it will also help you feel more energized and will help you sleep better too. Try and finish your exercise 3 hours before you go to bed to make sure you have time to wind down, or do some gentle yoga before going to bed to help relax and calm you in preparation for sleep. Work your way up to 40 minutes 3 times a week.
However if you feel worse as you are exercising - beyond the usual huff and puff, then please see a doctor as soon as possible.

Take an honest look at your lifestyle and evaluate if you can make some changes as just a few tweaks and adjustments can make a big difference. You do not have to become a vegan, gym bunny overnight, instead aim for being a slightly healthy, gym hamster first! Start with achievable goals - meeting your 5 fruit and vegetable a day target, taking a 20 min walk each evening or going to bed half an hour early do not take much effort and can be the first steps to an energetic, new you. Gradually build on these baby steps and look at how you feel in a few months time to really see the changes.

If despite changes to your lifestyle you see no changes or you feel you already have a relatively balanced lifestyle or have other symptoms on top of a general lack of energy then you should see a doctor as possible. Reasons could include conditions such as anemia, thyroid disorders, diabetes and nutrient deficiencies and would need medical examinations to determine the cause and the solution.

Sweet dreams!

 If you would like more help with your sleep problems then please contact me at charlotte@charlottewelply.com and we can set up a free introductory coaching session.

Summer sleeping

Ah Summer - long hot, sunny days and the time we all wished we had aircon!

Here are a few ideas on how to 'sleep cool' as the weather gets hotter if you have no air conditioning.

Cool Your Bedroom

- Close curtains or shutters during the day to keep the heat out of the room. External shutters are preferable as this will prevent the glass from warming up. Also try and keep the windows closed during the hottest part of the day. Open the windows in the evening when the air has cooled, try and get a breeze flowing through the house and use fans to help with this.

- Fill a spray bottle with water and squirt a few times into the air and this will help bring down the temperature.

- Freeze a plastic bottle of water during the day and at night time place it in front of a fan to blow cool air around the room.

- Is it possible to move to another room to sleep? Hot air rises, so if possible sleep on a lower floor or in a north facing room that will not heat up so much during the day

Cool Your Bed

- Use sheets made from natural fibres cotton or cotton mix and with a higher thread count. Sheets with a sateen finish or made of silk will also feel cooler.

- Lightly spray a top sheet with water so that as the water evaporates it will help cool you down. Please note the word 'lightly'!

- Turn your pillow during the night to keep your head cool.

Cool Yourself

- Wear light nightwear rather than noting as the fabric will allow perspiration to wick away.

- Keep a bottle of spray mineral water next to the bed to use on your arms and legs during the night.

- Avoid caffeine and alcohol in the evenings as these will raise your body temperatures by increasing your blood pressure.

- Stay well hydrated during the day to help stop you waking up because of thirst. However try to stop drinking fluids an hour before bed to help prevent night time toilet runs!

- Use an ice pack (the 1st aid ones) wrapped in flannel/washcloth, placed on your neck or forehead to help cool you down. Do not place directly on your skin or use for more than 10 minutes to avoid ice burn.

Hope this helps and the heatwave diminishes soon!

Sweet dreams.

To share or not to share?

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After last week's slightly tongue in cheek post about duvet stealing, this post is about ways to share a bed in comfort.

Historically people have always shared beds as beds, bedding and even extra bedrooms were expensive and prohibitive. It was only the super rich that could afford to have separate bedrooms. In the past if you were a single traveler you may well have shared a hotel bed with a total stranger. Siblings, if not whole families, would sleep together in the same bed.

There is also the simple fact is that as a general rule, humans do sleep better on their own. Everyone seems to have slightly different needs in terms of warmth, bed softness, space etc. Against this is the need to balance the need for intimacy in a relationship and studies have shown that sleeping separately can impact negatively on relationships.

So what to do if you do want to sleep in the same bed but have different needs?


Respect different body clocks
A night owl married to a morning lark is a nightmare combination for bedtimes, the good news is that the majority of the population are hummingbirds and can adapt to either. However some people do prefer early bedtimes while others would like to stay up an hour or so more. If this is your situation then have a discussion with your partner. Maybe they are not being lazy in the mornings but genuinely getting some restorative sleep? Perhaps it's not the lure of another TV show that is stopping them coming to bed with you but a real feeling that they are not tired. If you do opt for different bedtimes then make sure you have some shared bedtimes, perhaps at the weekend, to keep a level of intimacy within the relationship, as this allows for and respects different sleep needs.


Buy as large a bed as possible 
Though falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms seems the romantic thing, we actually need a lot of space when sleeping and a larger bed will help with this.
If you both like different levels of support from a mattress then it is possible to buy two different mattresses that zip together.
Although buying a new bed may seem like a huge investment, it is the place where you will spend a third of your life and can help reduce stress levels in a relationship. Is that not worth paying for?

Have two different duvets
Although I joked about this last week this is a very easy and practical solution if one person prefers warmer bedding and the other throws of heat (and the covers) during the night. It is also possible to buy different duvet weights that again zip together.

Technology
What to do if one person likes watching TV to fall asleep and the other prefers peace and quiet? As a general rule technology in the bedroom disturbs sleep rather than enhances it, so I do recommend taking out TV's and computers. How about listening to a podcast with earphones, or investing in a 'speaker pillow' that you can plug your mp3 player into. A little light than you can clip onto a book is less intrusive than a bedside light. Likewise eye masks and earplugs can help too. Discuss and compromise, one person should not be making all the sacrifices as this will cause resentment.

Pets
An area that needs discussion and agreement however pets have no understanding of respecting bed space and if they are disturbing your sleep, then they should not be allowed to sleep on the bed, hygiene issues aside, they simply take up to much space. If necessary then they can be trained to sleep on their own bed in your room.

These are just a few suggestions, I would love to hear from you any thing that you have found useful, please comment below.

Sweet dreams. 

Sleep Gadgets

I'm not sure what you're like, but I know that in my quest for a perfect night's sleep I tied out a few gadgets and gimmicks in the hope that they worked.
Most of them did not.

It's a minefield out there, trying to distinguish the hype from the truth and the fact that, as more and more people are reporting that they are sleep deprived, it is becoming a big business sector with many brands jumping on the bandwagon.

These are a few things that I have tried over the years, the list is not exhaustive and are only my feelings, but it would be good to start a discussion. I have not included herbal or alternative medication in this post.

Mattress - There is now a plethora of mattress types out there, all proclaiming to help you get a good night's sleep. They are a huge investment so which one do you choose?
The general advice is to replace them every 10 years and I would support this. In my backpacking days I slept on many a poor quality mattress and had a poor night's sleep. Sagging springs do not support the body and therefore will decrease the quality of your sleep.
As for the style of mattress - this is more a personal choice. A good bed showroom will let you lie on the mattresses and try them out. What is comfortable for one is not for another. If you are a couple that prefer different mattresses then look into getting the style where two different types can be zipped together. I personally find the foam mattresses very hot yet others swear by them. Take your time and try different shops and styles till you find one you like, do not be rushed into buying the first you come across.
Be wary of internet bargains - you can not try them out, what may seem like a good price may result in a low quality mattress. Also be wary of second hand, not only do you not know how old they are, they will have been 'shaped' by someone else's sleeping style. Also there are reports of bed bug infestations spreading through the use of second hand beds and furniture.
I have had a good quality orthopedic mattresses for a long while, it cost more than the basic mattress but was not overly expensive.

Pillows - again this is very much an area defined by personal preferences. I have been converted to the contoured pillows that give you neck support. I started using one because of a lot of tension in my upper back, I found it a little odd at first but now find it difficult to sleep with out one and end up bunching a 'normal' pillow under my neck to recreate the feeling of support.
Fortunately pillows are not as expensive as mattresses so a little trial and error will not cost the earth. Good bed shops will also have different pillows that you can try.

Magnets - A few years ago there was some hype around using magnets in pillows and on undersheets to help improve your sleep. I invested in a small sheet to try it out. I could feel a difference in my circulation (it improved that) but it did not really improve the quality of my sleep.
Magnetic therapy is also claimed to help those with arthritic and joint pain, and of course pain can stop you sleeping well and is a well know cause of insomnia. If you were in this category and wanted to try magnetic therapy, perhaps try a wristband to see if there is any improvement before making larger investments. Also look out for money back guarantees.

Massage machines - again there are certain types of massage machines on the market that claim t help improve sleep quality. The benefits they offer can be debateable. If you are stressed then yes, having a massage can help you relax and then sleep better, so they can help in the treatment of sleep problems rather than effectively cure them.

Sleep monitors - there has often been a huge difference in the amount of sleep that people think they get and the amount of sleep they do get. Traditional methods to show this have mainly revolved around keeping a sleep diary or going to a sleep centre and being 'wired up' for the night. Recently, with the improvement in technology there are some sleep monitors that you can buy and use at home. These, however do not always give accurate results with people reporting that the monitor bands slip off during the night, or register periods of inactivity as sleep, when the users report they were awake but just not moving. Also these monitors just record the amount of sleep you get, they do not improve the quality or length of sleep.

White noise/sound machines - these play background noises and music to either block out other noises or to provide a constant noise to help you fall asleep. I have to say that sometimes I have listened to music or meditations before going to sleep as this helps switch of a racing brain, though have not needed a special machine to help me do this. If you are sharing your bed then it is possible to buy headbands with inbuilt speakers and pillows that you can plug your ipod into so that your partner is not disturbed. If listening to music helps you sleep, it maybe worth checking these out.
If you want to see if white noise could help you sleep, then try running a small electric fan in your room to see if that helps before investing in a special machine.

After many years of trying different approaches, and finding some that helped a little or not at all, the only one that worked long term was following a structured behavioural therapy approach to actually retrain my body in the art of falling asleep and staying sleep. It was an effort at first but it was only for a few weeks and the benefits have been longer lasting than anything else I have tried. 

3 surprising sleep saboteurs!

You have read all the information about 'Sleep Hygiene', you've stopped drinking caffeine after 2 pm, you've turned the computer off an hour before bedtime, but you still can not sleep properly. What is going on?

Here are three things that you may be doing that you think may help you sleep better but in fact can actually affect your sleep.

Nicotine
This is a surprising one as many people associate cigarettes with being a sedative and having a calming and relaxing affect on the body. When you are feeling uptight, then having a cigarette can help calm you. In actual fact although a cigarette can have a calming effect, nicotine is a stimulant and having a last cigarette before bed is actually putting a stimulant into your body. The more you smoke the stronger this affect is and may cause you to either have difficulties falling asleep or contribute towards a disturbed night's sleep.
Is this another reason to help you kick the habit?

Alcohol
Yes, it does seem that I am giving all the guilty pleasures a bad rap, but alcohol is another offender too! A quick 'nightcap' before going to bed, may help you drop off to sleep, however the following processes that your body goes through to metabolize and clear the alcohol from your body is a withdrawal process. It is this process that causes you to wake in the night with the sweats and possible nightmares. If you want a drink, then make sure you allow time for the alcohol to metabolize before going to bed.

Pets
A strange one - any people find that the idea of having their pets sleep with them comforting and therefor a good thing to have around when going to sleep at night - a reassuring presence. First of all their movements on the bed can wake you, or contribute towards a light sleep. I remember my childhood pet cat being able to take up the entire space of a single bed by spreading out in his sleep. Remember cats and dogs do not think about sleeping considerately and allowing you space, unlike a human partner (then again....).
There is also the issues of allergies. You can be mildly allergic to animal hairs, which may not show up in the day time, when there is more 'space' between you, but when sharing the same sleeping space these can show up as coughs, running noses etc which will disturb your sleep.
Try banning your pet from the bedroom for a week and see if this improves your sleep.

I hope these tips help improve your sleep, if you have any questions then do please get in tough via the comments box or via email.

Sweet dreams!

Hummingbirds

I have had a couple of conversations with people recently about the whole Night Owl/Morning Lark concept and is it really a genetic thing and is it possible to change and have come across a new term - Hummingbirds. I adore these little birds and loved seeing large flocks of them in Costa Rica. Unfortunately I am not one!

There are people for whom their circadian rhythms are hard wired and they find it difficult to change. Latest studies estimate that 1 in 10 of us is a Lark and 2 in 10 are Owls. The rest hover in-between and can adapt to either situation, the Hummingbirds.

I see this when working in daycare with the young children. Most of the children are Hummingbirds and are lively throughout the day, perhaps slightly quieter first thing in the morning and becoming a little more grisly towards the evening. However you do see outstanding examples of Owls and Larks too.

One little 18 month old is a happy little boy, he arrives in the morning and gets on with his day. He is perfectly sociable and enjoys taking part in the activities and being around the other children. He has his midday nap and when he gets up he is a completely different child, he is far more energetic, laughs, shows his cheeky side, and is generally far more outgoing. It is amazing to watch. With his being so young, his sleep patterns take up most of the day and are standard for a child his age, but watching his temperament and behaviour you can see that he will be someone who comes alive later in the day.

Likewise, there is a little baby of 7 months, who rarely sleeps in the morning. He enjoys rolling around on the floor and playing with the toys. Try and get him to have a morning nap is difficult, put him in his cot and he will cry. You may be lucky to get 15 minutes from him. However he will sleep in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see how this develops but I suspect he will become an Lark.

The Hummingbirds have the advantages of being flexible and adaptable, they can get up early to start a shift, catch a flight etc as well as party till the early hours. The Hummingbird can also adapt more easily to life changes like a staying up late when at college, getting up earlier when starting in the workforce, having early rising children, switching to later sleep patterns when they retire.

I am a hard wired Night Owl and it has been difficult to bring my sleep times forward to Midnight to 8.30am, (my preferred times were 2am to 10am) and at the moment I can not see it getting any earlier. I struggle when on shift patterns and these are only variations of a couple of hours, not a day/night shift pattern such as hospital staff.  The way I cope now is to tell myself that the two days a week that I need to get up before 8.30 are the exception and not the norm. Psychologically that works for me.

Hummingbirds profit well from the modern lifestyle and work well throughout the day. Some Owls and Larks are in jobs that suit their hours but how do you make this work if you are in the 9-5. In reality the best thing to do is to work out your personal timings and when you do things well and incorporate those into your day. These can apply to Hummingbirds too as you may show a slight preference to when you are feeling more alert and when you are feeling more tired.

- You are alert in the mornings? Then use this time to be your most creative, working on projects, compiling reports etc. Then save your more mundane and routine tasks for later in the day when you are feeling tired or sluggish - checking emails, filling in stats forms etc.

- You take a while to get going in the mornings? Instead of staring into space waiting for inspiration use the time for the routine tasks that do not take much effort and save your meaningful and creative work for the afternoons when you are feeling more dynamic.

More and more jobs offer flexible hours and you can also also use these to your advantage.

So which do you think you are - Owl, Lark or Hummingbird?

Exercise and sleep.

It's an established fact that exercise can help improve your sleep. It makes sense. You feel tired after exercise, you have worked your muscles and your heart but do you sometimes have a great workout, feel exhausted yet find yourself staring at the ceiling and unable to sleep? The truth is that your body needs time to rest and recover after exercise.

So the really question is not - what is the best exercise for sleep? But - when is the best time to exercise to help sleep?

The answer depends on the type of exercise you have chosen.

Vigorous workouts within 3 hours of going to bed can actually hamper your efforts to sleep - you will have a raised heart rate and higher body temperature, both of which hinder sleep.
While exercising in the morning can help reduce stress and if this is combined with spending time in daylight it can help set your bodyclock naturally.

Cardio type workouts that raise your heart rate such as running, aerobics and weight training should be done earlier in the day to give your body time to relax and wind down before going to bed. It is possible to time this to perfection and working out in the mid-afternoon to early evening can really help you sleep better as your body will naturally be cooling down at the time you are getting ready to sleep.

This may be difficult for most people due to work and family commitments, so follow the general guidelines of exercising 3 to 4 times a week and at least three hours before bedtime. If you hit the gym after work, make sure it is straight after work and you allow time to wind down, or chose a gentler class or programme.

It is possible to do a workout later in the evening, but these need to be calming exercises such as gentle yoga, pilates and stretches which all help your body relax and unwind before sleep. Care needs to be taken with choosing these exercises as some types of yoga can actually be dynamic and quite aerobic, so discuss this with your gym instructor or trainer in to how appropriate your chosen activity is for aiding sleep.

I have seen an improvement in my sleep since joining a gym over a year ago. I prefer to go during the daytime and the only evening time class I do is a yoga based one, which though I feel slightly invigorated immediately after the class, I also feel relaxed and sleep well a couple of hours later.

As with any type of exercise, please consult your doctor before taking up any exercise if you haven't exercised in a while or are over weight.

Sweet dreams.

Too hot or too cold to sleep?

A sudden dip in the temperatures across Europe and a snowfall last night and it seems like the right time to write this post.

I woke up in the middle of the night the other night and couldn't get back to sleep for a while. I then realised that I was slightly cold. I didn't feel cold in that I was shivering, or my hands and feet were like ice blocks, but just slightly cold. I pulled a blanket on top of my duvet and was asleep within 10 minutes, just that little bit of extra warmth making the difference.

There is a very narrow range for an optimum temperature in the sleep environment for humans, which is between 18 and 22°c (65 - 72°F). The body temperature dips at night to allow sleep and so being in a cooler environment helps the body achieve this. However if it is too cold, then your body is working to warm you up and therefore makes it difficult to sleep.
I was brought up in a home were central heating was sparsely used, so prefer a cooler sleep environment. I find it difficult sleeping in houses were there is 24 hour heating (which happens a lot in Europe with communal heating for a block of flats).
Of course if you were brought up or live in a warmer environment/climate you become used to higher temperatures, but when temperatures fluctuate over the year, you need to try and keep the bedroom temperature as steady as possible.

Here are some good sleep hygiene practices for the different seasons -

In Winter
- keep the thermostat cooler in the bedrooms (radiator thermostats help with this) or turn the temperature down half an hour before going to bed.
- try experimenting with layering - using different tog duvets and blankets as well as warmer bedclothes, pyjamas and bedsocks!
- when your partner has different needs, try using separate duvets or perhaps sharing a duvet and one partner having a light blanket over them as well.

In Summer
- keep the room as cool as possible during the day, closing the curtains to keep out the sun, blackout blinds etc.
- use a fan to keep the air circulating and put a container of frozen water in front of a fan
- avoid memory foam pillows as these can heat up the body.
- turn off or remove all unnecessary equipment, as these can heat up a room, even incandescent lightbulbs can heat up a room!
- if you use it, check the air-con is not too low, as too much of a drop can make it too cold to sleep.

Here in France the temperature can fluctuate between overnight lows of -12°C to overnight highs of 35°C, so over the year I employ many different techniques to try and maintain the best sleeping environment, in winter I have a fleecy undersheet, high tog duvet, blanket and sometimes a hot water bottle. This all gradually reduces to a sheet and fan in the high Summer.

If you're not sleeping too well then take a look at the temperature in your sleep environment and see if there anything you can change to get a better night's sleep.

Sweet dreams!

Clock Watching

A bit of a preamble till I get to the point of this post, but I will get there, I promise!

Last week there was a programme on sleep disorders on the BBC and it took five people with sleep difficulties and diagnosed them, then set about making a plan for them. I found it both fascinating and reassuring. Reassuring as lot of the techniques they use, I use with my clients and in my programmes. Fascinating as some of the volunteers thought they had one problem and actually it was something else!

For example one guy had a 'snoring' problem that was keeping his wife awake and he actually had sleep apnea, which is a very serious condition. The other guy with the snoring problem actually slept very well on his own, it was because his partner kept waking him (due to his snoring) that he was getting poor quality sleep!

There was one lady, called Gwen, who has chronic insomnia and had a very negative mindset about sleeping, which is not surprising when you've not been sleeping for over 30 years.
What I found interesting - and I'm now getting into the main part of this post - was that according to the sleep experts, Gwen had the perfect bedroom for sleep, except for one thing - she had an alarm clock where the time display glowed in the dark.

It may seem unusual to say that an alarm clock is out of place in a bedroom, but it's not the alarm it is the fact you can read the time during the night. Gwen had the perfect bedroom - calm colours, heavy curtains, no clutter, a good supportive bed etc. She also claimed not to clock watch but at the same time was able to tell you how much sleep she thought she got each night.
Now - here's another interesting bit, when she spent a night at the sleep clinic and was wired up to monitors she claimed not have slept at all (and, poor thing, looked like she hadn't slept) but what the monitors showed was that she had slept in short little bursts for a total of 4 hours. Over half her time in bed.

Yes, this was not a refreshing and restorative way to sleep, but she was actually sleeping. The experts then came up with a plan of sleep condensing to help her get a more solid block of sleep, which did eventually work for her.

What I found interesting was this belief that she had not slept at all. How often do we tell ourselves how little we have slept? I used to do this. Then I took the alarm clock out of my room. This stopped my clock watching. I was no longer able to estimate how little or even how much I'd slept. If I woke in the night I had no way of knowing if it was midnight or 3am. Initially I found this strange but in only a few nights I actually found this really liberating and actually began to sleep a little better.
If I woke up instead of going into a panic mode of thinking I only had 4 more hours to get some sleep, 3 and half hours, 3 hours and so on.... I was able to tell myself I had plenty of time to get some sleep. I was no longer able to get into a panic about how little sleep I was getting which would start me off in a cycle of anxiety and further reduce any chance of getting back to sleep.

Now when I wake in the night, I feel relaxed. I know I have already had some sleep (a good thing!) and that I have plenty of time to get some more (another good thing). As I am relaxed and not anxious I am able to get back to sleep more easily.

So my suggestion is that you take all clocks out of your bedroom. If you need the alarm function, then cover up any luminous clock displays or turn them to the wall. If you use a phone as your alarm then experiment with switching the phone off. For most modern mobile phones the alarm will still function even if you turn the phone off.

Why not try this out for a week and see what it does for your sleep and please comment below to let me know!

Sweet dreams.

What are you telling yourself?

So, you've had a bad night's sleep, the alarm was unwelcome and you're about to face the day.
What are the thoughts going through your mind right now?

When I work with my clients, we look at their 'mental chatter'. Those thoughts that race through your head at any given moment.
'Need to buy some tomatoes, oh, and some broccoli, mustn't forget to book the dentists appointment, don't glare at me - how am I supposed to know you were going to step out of the door without looking, wonder where she got that coat from...'
You know the stuff.

Though it may seem pretty mindless stuff, it can actually be very powerful stuff, as this mental chatter and internal thoughts go a long way to programming your brain and how you feel.
If you are dwelling on an unpleasant situation and going over and over it again, you rapidly bring your emotions and feelings down into a negative spiral.

For example - spend a few moments thinking about the last time someone was rude to you. What did they say? What was their body language like? How did you react? How did you feel at the time? What would you do differently?
Now take a big breath and note how you feel right now. Are you angry, do you feel tension in your body, how positive or negative do you feel? Isn't it amazing that the person is not here with you, the situation is in the past, but you still feel all those emotions.

Now, think about the last time you laughed. Was it something someone did or said? A joke you heard, or a picture you saw? Was it a comedy show on tv? Did you laugh out loud, was it a real belly laugh?
Take a big breath and note how you feel this time. Do you feel happy? How positive or negaive do you feel? How different do you feel to a moment ago when you were thinking about the other situation?

I hope you can understand what I'm getting at.

So how does this relate to sleep?
Well, picture yourself having had only 5 hours sleep. It's the following morning, how do you feel? What emotions are going through you? The alarm goes off and what are you telling yourself? What is your 'chatter' saying?
Is it saying - Only 5 hours, how am I going to cope? I felt I was awake all night. How am I going to be at work? I feel so tired, I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day?

Or is it saying - 5 hours sleep, well that's 5 hours more than no sleep. At least I got some sleep. As I have slept, I know that I'll get through the day because I've done it before. Several times in fact.

Can you see the difference between the two sets of thought patterns. If you can start to shift from the first to the second then you are on your way to changing your mindset from one of an insomniac to one of a sleeper. And that's a step towards more sleep! You see a good sleeper doesn't worry about how much sleep they get. If they have a poor night's sleep (which they do) they don't worry about it, or start obsessing about it, they know they will sleep ok the next night. When they are talking to their friends they don't go on about a lack of sleep, in fact they probably don't mention sleep at all, unless asked.

From my experience it was difficult to start the shift of changing my internal chatter but I persisted and soon got the idea. I monitored my thoughts and would catch myself and then started to look for the positive things about how much sleep I got. Little by little it got easier to do. I began to feel more positive about my sleep and how much I was getting. I started to notice that I didn't feel so gloomy in the mornings, that I felt lighter. That in general my morning thoughts were more positive and I didn't get stuck in negative thought patterns, and if started to think negatively (about anything) that I would catch myself and start thinking about more enjoyable things. Now when I wake in the morning I scan my body to see how I'm feeling and take that as my starting point rather than trying to remember if I woke in the night or not.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not leaping out of bed saying 'Yee hah, I got 5 hours sleep last night, I'm on fire!!' but the changes that I have made are notable. If my mental chatter does start drifting into the 'Only 4 hours sleep mode' I am able to quickly start reassuring myself that I will be able to cope. I also remind myself that I have been sleeping well, that this is a rare night etc.

What has been amazing is that by focusing on what sleep I am getting, rather than on what sleep I'm not, is that I am getting more sleep. It is simple 'What you focus on expands' and if you focus on a lack of sleep, that's what you see and if you focus on sleep, that's what you see.

Please try this for yourselves and note the differences in your feelings about sleep and how this impacts on how you cope with the day. Remember that this is the first step in changing your mindset, so congratulate yourself each time for doing it.
I would love to know how you are getting on either so please comment below or send me a message on facebook.

Till next time
Sweet dreams

What's your sleep story?

One of the fascinating things that I have discovered when talking to people about their sleep, is how different everyone's sleep history is.

During my insomnia days I wanted to put my head on my pillow, fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours - 'Like everyone else did!' However, the more I talk to people about sleep, the more I realize that not many people do sleep for 8 hours straight.

It is much more likely that people have individual quirks when it comes to sleep - needing the temperature just right, sleep talking, snoring, delays in going to sleep, waking in the night for no reason, being woken by strange noises, habits changing over time, needing sleep rituals... The list seems almost endless. What I have found reassuring about this is that even if I have felt alone at 3am and felt like I was the only person awake at that time, that actually I'm not, and that other people have their sleep stories too. I have found that really reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one. It also helped reduce my stress over sleep and, strangely, made falling asleep a little easier.

I have asked some of my friends to share their sleep stories - what affects them, how they overcame sleep disturbances, funny stories of sleep talking/walking etc. I will be adding more stories over the next few weeks, so if you have an interesting, unusual or funny story that you would like to share, then please contact me, I'd love to talk to you about it!

Here is the link to the first few stories.
http://www.charlottewelply.com/sleep-stories.html

Hope you enjoy listening to them and remember to check back regularly for more stories!

Sweet dreams

Night, night, sleep tight.

Last week I posted this picture on my Facebook page, because I am one of those who will take ages to log off from the computer as I 'just want to check one more thing'!

My friend commented that she had heard it was good to have an hour of 'no screen time' before going to bed' and was asking why.
As I replied to her comment, I realized that I guilty of not always practicing what I preach. I think part of this has been hard wired into my brain. I used to tell myself and others things such as -
"I'm such a bad insomniac that it won't make any difference to me."
"Pah, unwind before I go to bed - why bother, I go to sleep alright, it's staying asleep that is the problem."

Comments such as these re-enforced my beliefs about sleep and insomnia - that it would always be a difficulty for me. I was really into my own little pity party around sleep. I now know what an effect these comments can have and realize what I say to myself is important.

Also that what I do is important.

As a child I used to have a bath and a bedtime story. Over the years this changed. Like most parents, mine stopped being so active in this routine when we were old enough to bathe unsupervised and read by ourselves. Evening baths were replaced by morning showers and then as a teenager, I was doing homework late at night. As an adult I had a TV in my room. Also over this time my sleep patterns were changing and insomniac habits were settling in.

So now as adults I think we need to restart our bedtime routines and tuck ourselves in at night!

Technology is too stimulating and does need to be switched off before bedtime. Other stimulants include caffeine and alcohol. You should also avoid exercise late in the evening - the only exception to this would be yoga or other relaxing/stretching exercise to release your body of tension.

Take TV's out of the bedroom. They may 'help' you fall asleep, but they are not a good crutch to have and I would often wake later in the night as I could hear the noise on the telly and then not be able to go back to sleep.
Take time to tick of the days chores from your list, and plan what to do tomorrow, so that your mind does not have to think and remember what needs to be done.
Have a bath to start relaxing and unwinding.
Switch off bright lights, and use lamps etc, to start telling your brain it is night time so it can start releasing the right hormones to prepare you for sleep.
Read a few pages of a book, to bring back associations with childhood bedtimes, or other relaxing hobby, to start unwinding.

When you go to bed - switch your mobile phone off! We are so into being in contact 24/7 but it is not good for us! For years I have used my phone as my alarm clock and thought I couldn't switch it off and would be woken in the night by texts coming through, but then a friend told me that in most phones, the alarm will work even when the phone is switched off. So, if you use your phone as an alarm try this now - set your alarm for 2 mins time and switch the phone off and see what happens!

I am pretty good at most of these things - except switching the computer off, so I'll be making an effort to that. What do you need to change to help you sleep better?

Sweet dreams!