Troublesome Thoughts

Let's do a little hand raise here - How many of you have lain awake at night worrying about a situation? It either stops you going to sleep or getting back to sleep if you wake in the night? Though you know there is nothing you can do about it there and then, you still can't switch off your brain and go to sleep.

I still get occasional nights like this and I think that's natural, most people would admit to this, it is a rare and lucky few that can sleep untroubled every single night.

There may be a work presentation, an ill relative, financial worries - in fact a myriad of different things can play on your mind and stop that elusive sleep from happening! If you already have difficulties sleeping this can really add to the problem.

I remember back in my insomnia days when I had been appointed manager at a Children's Centre that I slept badly for months worrying about whether I was good enough for the job. This was crazy - I had gone through an interview process and had already worked for the service, so they knew who I was and what I could do, so they were obviously confident with my abilities. Even the fact that my line manager rarely came to my Centre didn't reassure me, I just thought of a whole heap of reasons why she was avoiding coming to the Centre - none of which included the thought that it was because I was doing a good job of managing it and that she didn't need to spend much time supervising me.

It was easier to slip into my pattern of troublesome thoughts and turn into a worry wort. At this stage in my life I would worry about the strangest of things. I was a worse case scenario type of person and would think about the worse thing that could possibly happen and focus on that instead of taking reassurance about how unlikely that would be.

Things changed when a new friend talked to me about how he was always worrying and if he realised that he was not worrying about something would then think of something to worry about! Though his behaviour seemed extreme I realised that I was guilty of a little bit of this behaviour and that this was not a good place to be living my life and began to change my thought patterns.

So what to do if you have troublesome thoughts that are keeping you awake at night?

Try having a notebook by your bed and before you go to sleep each night write down the things that are bothering you and what you will do about them tomorrow. There is something about writing things down that helps take it out of the mind and breaks the thought cycle. If you do start thinking about it again you can gently tell yourself that you have made a note of it and do not need to think further about it.

Colin Epsie (Director University of Glasgow Sleep Centre) suggests that you repeat a word to block the thought patterns in your head. He recommends the word 'the' as it is a very neutral word. So when you are in bed with a busy mind, just keep repeating the word 'the'.

You can also try some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) I have put up a video on what to do on my Youtube channel here (sorry that the sound is slightly out f sync).

Good luck on breaking the thought cycle!

Sweet dreams

Clock Watching

A bit of a preamble till I get to the point of this post, but I will get there, I promise!

Last week there was a programme on sleep disorders on the BBC and it took five people with sleep difficulties and diagnosed them, then set about making a plan for them. I found it both fascinating and reassuring. Reassuring as lot of the techniques they use, I use with my clients and in my programmes. Fascinating as some of the volunteers thought they had one problem and actually it was something else!

For example one guy had a 'snoring' problem that was keeping his wife awake and he actually had sleep apnea, which is a very serious condition. The other guy with the snoring problem actually slept very well on his own, it was because his partner kept waking him (due to his snoring) that he was getting poor quality sleep!

There was one lady, called Gwen, who has chronic insomnia and had a very negative mindset about sleeping, which is not surprising when you've not been sleeping for over 30 years.
What I found interesting - and I'm now getting into the main part of this post - was that according to the sleep experts, Gwen had the perfect bedroom for sleep, except for one thing - she had an alarm clock where the time display glowed in the dark.

It may seem unusual to say that an alarm clock is out of place in a bedroom, but it's not the alarm it is the fact you can read the time during the night. Gwen had the perfect bedroom - calm colours, heavy curtains, no clutter, a good supportive bed etc. She also claimed not to clock watch but at the same time was able to tell you how much sleep she thought she got each night.
Now - here's another interesting bit, when she spent a night at the sleep clinic and was wired up to monitors she claimed not have slept at all (and, poor thing, looked like she hadn't slept) but what the monitors showed was that she had slept in short little bursts for a total of 4 hours. Over half her time in bed.

Yes, this was not a refreshing and restorative way to sleep, but she was actually sleeping. The experts then came up with a plan of sleep condensing to help her get a more solid block of sleep, which did eventually work for her.

What I found interesting was this belief that she had not slept at all. How often do we tell ourselves how little we have slept? I used to do this. Then I took the alarm clock out of my room. This stopped my clock watching. I was no longer able to estimate how little or even how much I'd slept. If I woke in the night I had no way of knowing if it was midnight or 3am. Initially I found this strange but in only a few nights I actually found this really liberating and actually began to sleep a little better.
If I woke up instead of going into a panic mode of thinking I only had 4 more hours to get some sleep, 3 and half hours, 3 hours and so on.... I was able to tell myself I had plenty of time to get some sleep. I was no longer able to get into a panic about how little sleep I was getting which would start me off in a cycle of anxiety and further reduce any chance of getting back to sleep.

Now when I wake in the night, I feel relaxed. I know I have already had some sleep (a good thing!) and that I have plenty of time to get some more (another good thing). As I am relaxed and not anxious I am able to get back to sleep more easily.

So my suggestion is that you take all clocks out of your bedroom. If you need the alarm function, then cover up any luminous clock displays or turn them to the wall. If you use a phone as your alarm then experiment with switching the phone off. For most modern mobile phones the alarm will still function even if you turn the phone off.

Why not try this out for a week and see what it does for your sleep and please comment below to let me know!

Sweet dreams.

More pillow talk!

Last week we looked at different pillow types and how, depending on your sleep style, they can help improve the quality of your sleep.
This week we'll be taking a peek inside your pillows and see what they are made of!

The allergy debate - it has been recomended that allergy sufferers avoid down and feather pillows, but I would suggest that you experiment with this. An old boyfriend had terrible asthma and had synthetic bedding - which I always found uncomfortable to sleep with, but he never had any problems sleeping with my bedding (a combination of feather and down pillows and duvet). If you have an allergy then you tend to have very specific triggers and if feathers and down set of your allergies then there are plenty of alternatives.

Feather and down have traditionally been used in pillows. They provide plenty of loft and support and allow for good airflow in the pillow. They can be squashed and reshaped easily to provide support where you want it. They do however, lose feathers and support over time. They are easily washed and dried.

Synthetic pillows - this has long been the alternative of choice for allergy sufferers as they are a low allergen risk, easily washable and can be quite cheap. They are available in different lofts and supports, so you can chose one that will help support your head. They are less easy to mold and shape and can bunch in places after a few washes. You do get what you pay for and cheaper pillows will not last as long.

Memory Foam - as Memory foam becomes cheaper to make it is becoming a more viable option for bedding, but you need to do your research to pick the pillow that is right for you. Too dense a foam and it can stop providing support and block air circulation around your head causing you to sweat more. There are also some poor quality, cheap brands on sale. This can be a good option for those who have neck and shoulder pain as you nestle into the foam as it molds into your shape.

Cotton filling - this is making a come back as it used to be a traditional filling choice and is now popular with those looking for a more organic lifestyle. It has a natural breathing ability and can help keep you cooler on hot nights. Over time the filling can become more compact and harder to sleep on.

Wool filling - Not only is wool light and fluffy as a pillow filler it also has a natural wicking ability taking moisture away from your head when you sleep and keeping you cool. This wicking ability also makes it an unsuitable environment for dust mites, so is a good choice for an allergy sufferer.

Natural latex - You can get 3 different types of pillow, one with a firm central support, one that is contoured and one that is shredded (mimicking a down pillow). Natural latex is flexible, provides good support and lasts a long time. It also  absorbs moisture, regulates heat, circulates air and so inhibits the growth of mould and mildew. It is also a natural dust mite repellent.

Buckwheat and millet - these have been used in Asia for long time. The grains move around in the pillow, cradling your head and neck, so providing support as you move around during your sleep. They can be noisy and so are often used as an inner filling with an outer filling of cotton or wool.

These have been a few suggestions, if you know of any others that have really helped improve your sleep, then please feel free to comment below!

Sweet Dreams.

Night, night, sleep tight.

Last week I posted this picture on my Facebook page, because I am one of those who will take ages to log off from the computer as I 'just want to check one more thing'!

My friend commented that she had heard it was good to have an hour of 'no screen time' before going to bed' and was asking why.
As I replied to her comment, I realized that I guilty of not always practicing what I preach. I think part of this has been hard wired into my brain. I used to tell myself and others things such as -
"I'm such a bad insomniac that it won't make any difference to me."
"Pah, unwind before I go to bed - why bother, I go to sleep alright, it's staying asleep that is the problem."

Comments such as these re-enforced my beliefs about sleep and insomnia - that it would always be a difficulty for me. I was really into my own little pity party around sleep. I now know what an effect these comments can have and realize what I say to myself is important.

Also that what I do is important.

As a child I used to have a bath and a bedtime story. Over the years this changed. Like most parents, mine stopped being so active in this routine when we were old enough to bathe unsupervised and read by ourselves. Evening baths were replaced by morning showers and then as a teenager, I was doing homework late at night. As an adult I had a TV in my room. Also over this time my sleep patterns were changing and insomniac habits were settling in.

So now as adults I think we need to restart our bedtime routines and tuck ourselves in at night!

Technology is too stimulating and does need to be switched off before bedtime. Other stimulants include caffeine and alcohol. You should also avoid exercise late in the evening - the only exception to this would be yoga or other relaxing/stretching exercise to release your body of tension.

Take TV's out of the bedroom. They may 'help' you fall asleep, but they are not a good crutch to have and I would often wake later in the night as I could hear the noise on the telly and then not be able to go back to sleep.
Take time to tick of the days chores from your list, and plan what to do tomorrow, so that your mind does not have to think and remember what needs to be done.
Have a bath to start relaxing and unwinding.
Switch off bright lights, and use lamps etc, to start telling your brain it is night time so it can start releasing the right hormones to prepare you for sleep.
Read a few pages of a book, to bring back associations with childhood bedtimes, or other relaxing hobby, to start unwinding.

When you go to bed - switch your mobile phone off! We are so into being in contact 24/7 but it is not good for us! For years I have used my phone as my alarm clock and thought I couldn't switch it off and would be woken in the night by texts coming through, but then a friend told me that in most phones, the alarm will work even when the phone is switched off. So, if you use your phone as an alarm try this now - set your alarm for 2 mins time and switch the phone off and see what happens!

I am pretty good at most of these things - except switching the computer off, so I'll be making an effort to that. What do you need to change to help you sleep better?

Sweet dreams!

Night Owl or Morning Lark

My morning routine is timed down to the last possible second that I can stay in bed. I look at people with horror when they say that they get up early to do the housework before they go to work. When people say that they find it difficult to have a lie-in, I feel sorry for them on missing out on the delight of waking up and then realising that it's the weekend and you can turn over and drift of back to sleep again.  Over the years my colleagues have learnt not to expect greatness out of me first thing in the mornings. I only found out that the local street market really did open at 7am, when I was coming home one night (OK, morning) and realised I could buy some bread before going to sleep.

Yes, I am a self confessed Night owl and I love it. When on holiday I quickly drifted to the habit of going to sleep around 2am and waking around 10. There are times that I have struggled with it as as modern society tends to favour the Morning Lark - school hours, 9-5 working, shop opening hours etc. I have found ways to make it work for me and things are changing and though some people may complain about the 24 hour lifestyle, I am finding it's advantages.

Whether you are a Night Owl or Morning Lark has some genetic basis. Your own circadian rhythms have a huge influence on your sleep patterns, but just as you can change your sleep patterns to overcome jet lag, I can change to become a morning person.

This is not something I have ever relished doing, though is easier now that I have sorted my insomnia and now sleep well.
Working in daycare has meant that for most of my working life I have been subject to shift work. Not the huge shift patterns of night working but starting work anywhere between 7am and 10am. These changes are irritating enough to affect your routines but don't solicit the outpouring of sympathy that night shift workers get. For a morning person the answer to these slight changes would be to get up everyday at 6am, but for a sleep deprived person, this idea was bad news and late starts were seen as the opportunity for a sleep catch up and early finishes for an afternoon nap.

I did have one job where for 5 years I was working 9 - 5.30. I had hoped that over time, a regular getting up time would help my sleeping habits. It didn't. I still struggled for those 5 years of getting up at 7am for five days a week and enjoyed my weekend lie-ins.

Now that I am sleeping properly, I have been able to think about and have begun to change my sleeping habits. Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting up at dawn but I have reduced my lie-ins and am scheduling my sleep pattens into a slightly more modern world friendly schedule. Most days I go to bed around midnight and wake around 8am. It was an effort to do this at first, especially at the weekend, but I am seeing the benefits and am getting more done. Now when I stay up late because of a party, it is the exception and getting up early a couple of days a week for my earlier shifts at the crèche are not a struggle and I get the benefits of an early finish for my work day.

It would still be easy to go back to my extreme Night Owl ways, and I don't think I'll ever bounce out of bed at 6am, but for the moment, these new hours are suiting me fine.

What about you? Are you a morning person or do you dance on the tables till dawn? Are you happy with this, or do you want to change? Has a change in your life also made these changes for you? What adjustments have you made to your life to fit with or change these habits? Please comment below, it would be fascinating to find out?

Sweet dreams!

The perfect bedroom

In the last post, I encouraged you to look at your bedrooms and see if they could be made more sleep friendly by taking things out. This time, it's about putting things in!!

Doing these things is not going to cure insomnia overnight, but will definitely help. A lot of insomniacs dread going to bed as it brings up associations with not sleeping, with lying in bed awake, tossing and turning, in fact bed is associated with everything but sleep.
In order to start changing this mindset, it helps to make your bedroom somewhere where you want to go, a place that you want to spend time in.

In my London flat, the bedroom was the last place I decorated. My logic went along the lines of the other rooms - where I would be spending most of my waking time and where I would entertain, seemed to be the most important to get looking good. So by the time I got round to my bedroom, it had already become a dumping ground and the thought of moving all the stuff out seemed too daunting, so I kept delaying and delaying! Then when I did get round to painting - I painted it a bright and cheery yellow.

In hindsight all these things were big mistakes and I was not creating a calm, relaxing place to sleep.

Since then I have done a lot more research into sleep and especially (the horribly clinical sounding) 'sleep hygine'. It all makes sense!

Your bedroom should be a calm, relaxing place to be and my bright yellow walls were more stimulating than calming. So think about your colour scheme - is it calming or stimulating?

What is your bed like? Does your mattress need replacing? It is recommended to replace them every 10 years. It is also worth spending quite a lot on a good quality mattress that supports your back. It can seem a waste to spend a lot of money on something as simple as a mattress, but you do spend a 3rd of your life in bed, might as well be comfortable when you're there! Take your time buying a mattress, spend an afternoon or two trying out different ones, go on, lie on all the beds in Ikea!! I like a good quality sprung mattress, but if anyone has tried the tempura ones, please comment below and let us know what they are like.

How about the bedding? I like pure cotton, it feels so good! I also prefer white sheets, this may be something to do with Feng Shui that I learnt in Hong Kong, but it could be just because I like the look, the reasons are lost in the mists of time. I also have one of the 4 seasons type duvets and even in the winter have them in two separate duvet covers as I like to be able to adjust the temperature. I also have a feather duvet as I was going for luxury and the feelgood factor, but again, this is a personal preference. I also sleep on an anatomical pillow. At first it was strange but now I really like it and don't feel as if I have the same support from a traditional pillow. I also have a feather pillow that I hug!

The bedroom should also be slightly cooler than the other rooms, as again this helps sleep. I know that I find it difficult to sleep in a heated room and like to have the window open.

I know some people swear by blackout blinds. I did have one when the bedroom window was East facing and the sun would come in early in the morning, but apart from that one place have not felt the need for one. What about your bedroom window, would one help you?

So look through the list and think about the different areas and if there are things you could change. You may say to yourself - but I need to have 3 pillows, but if you are not sleeping with 3, is it worth trying something different? You could be saying - I need to warm whan I sleep, but again, could this be something to change to see if you sleep better?

I used to read these articles and ignore them, but the reality has been that changing things, little by little, has improved my quality of sleep. I love going to bed, I know I'll be cosy and comfortable and that helps a lot when I'm going to sleep. Let me know what works for you - it could really helpful for another reader too.

Sweet dreams!