Getting tough on insomnia

If, like me, when you are suffering from a lack of sleep you are searching continuously for the magic pill that will help you sleep normally'. I tried most things in my quest for a magical night's sleep - acupuncture, over the counter remedies, prescribed pills, aromatherapy, massages, exercise etc. I tried different sleep routines from waking earlier, to trying to reset my bodyclock by going to bed two hours later each day.

Some had a slight effect, improving my sleep a little (bedsocks), some worked during the course of treatment but stopped when I stopped (acupuncture), some had no affect whatsoever - Valerian supplements, some seemed heartily boring - going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, and others seemed a little extreme.

However, one of the extreme ones did actually work and so I will recommend it.

Initially it seems counter-intuitive, you actually sleep less and spend less time in bed. When you stop to think about it, it does make sense. As an insomniac I was spending longer and longer in bed in search of that elusive thing called sleep. At the weekends I could easily spend 10 or more hours in bed - trying to sleep, but actually only getting about 5 or 6 hours. Even on weekdays the amount of time I spent in bed v the amount of time sleeping was quite different.
This leads to a point where the brain stops associating bed with sleep, and instead associates it with lying awake.

In order to stop this and turn it back to the association of bed = sleep, you need to spend less time in bed! A favourite behavioural therapy solution to this is to work out how much time you are actually sleeping and then go to bed for that amount of time.

It works like this -

Keep a sleep diary for a couple of weeks and record each night how much you are sleeping in total. If you sleep in several smaller blocks add these together to get your nightly total.

After two weeks work out your average sleep time. In the this example let's say 5 and half hours.

Work out what time you need to wake up and then count back your sleep time. Again let's say 7am is your wake up time, so in order to get 5 and half hours sleep you need to be in bed at 1.30am.

Go to bed at this new time until you are sleeping through from 1.30 - 7am. This needs to be done 7 nights a week with no lie-ins or naps!  these times can adjusted to your body clock, if going to bed in the early hours of the morning feels alien to you then go to bed earlier but wake up (and get up) 5 and a half hours later!
If your average sleep time is less than 5 hours then set your sleep time for 5 hours - his is the absolute minimum amount of time to be aiming for.

After you have been sleeping through for a week, then go to bed 15 minutes earlier at 1.15am. Then when you are sleeping through again, slowly build up the amount of time you spend in bed in 15 minute increments.

If this process is done correctly then within a couple of months you wall be sleeping through, night after night and with in a few months you will have a normal sleeping pattern of 7 to 8 solid hours of sleep a night.

I call this techniques sleep condensing, as it retrains the brain from a fragmented sleeping pattern into a solid sleeping pattern. It needs to be done slowly and built up over time, so that you remain in a state of solid sleeping.

The efforts are worth the rewards and after a few months it is possible to then re-instate a couple of sneaky lie-ins and the occasional afternoon nap. It does need to be closely monitored and if night time waking starts becoming a regular feature of your sleep again, then you may need to cut back a little of your time in bed to re-establish a solid night of sleep again - just as someone who watches their weight may cut back on their calories after an over indulgent holiday!

Sleep condensing may also have to be combined with other sleep essentials (such as reducing caffeine, switching off electronic equipment an hour before bed
etc) in order to work well.

If you want to try this, then good luck and let me know how you go!

Sweet dreams.

If you would like more help with achieving overcoming insomnia and other sleep problems then please contact me at charlotte@charlottewelply.com and we can set up a free introductory coaching session.

The 10 o'clock happy train

The other day I was reading Marci Shimoff's Happy For No Reason. It's a great book, and highly recommended, all about how to gain inner happiness, a happiness that is not dependent on external circumstances.

In one of the chapters Marci suggested a process called the 10 o'clock happy train and I thought it was such a lovely idea I had to share it with you. It is also a very simple idea, easy to implement and has great benefits.

Marci suggests it as a way of boosting your energy and therefore your happiness levels. It's a two step process

1 - Make the promise to yourself to get to bed by 10 pm for three days in a row

2 - Do it!

That's it. So simple.

Sleep is so low on the list of priorities in this modern world, there is so much to do that skipping half an hour or so of sleep here and there seems the easiest thing to do to enable us to fit more into our lives. It appears to have no immediate effect, we feel fine the next day and, even if a little groggy, we cope well. Over time though these things build up and we get grumpier and less able to cope. Marci's book focuses on happiness and that being tired and grumpy is not going to help your happiness levels, so committing to go to bed earlier will help by restoring some of your sleep debt. After 3 nights of restorative sleep you will have greater energy levels, feel ready to cope with anything and feel happier as well.

So, who wants to try this and see what happens to their energy and happiness levels? It may mean not checking your emails one last time, or recording that late night TV programme you want to catch but the benefits will outweigh the things you 'miss out' on!
I was on holiday last week and burnt the candle at both ends, so will be committing to the 10 o'clock happy train for the next 3 nights. Anyone else want to commit as well?

Sweet dreams.

Routines - how they can liberate you

I've been having thoughts along these lines in different areas of my life for a while now, and would like to share how they help with sleep too.

In a former life I used to work with parents, helping them improve their children's behaviour and one of the most common problems was that there was little or no routine in the house. Bedtimes and wake up times were erratic, mealtimes were whenever someone felt like cooking, in fact the only routine seemed to be around school (if there were school aged children in the home) and weekends ended up as one long blur.

When I asked these parents why there was no routine the common response was that they wanted to be 'spontaneous' 'live in the moment' and 'have fun'. There was also a popular theme of having a strict upbringing and wanting to be different with their children. However having no routine meant that the children were insecure, not sure what was happening and this displayed itself in their behaviour. I often found myself explaining that if you had no routine you couldn't be spontaneous, throwing in something different to do just added more chaos to the mix. Conversely if you have a good routine going, then saying to yourself one evening 'Let's jump in the car and go to the beach' is spontaneous and a fun and different thing to do because it is not the norm. It makes it more fun and more special and a brighter memory.

So what does this have to do with sleep?

Our brains and bodies need a structure to work round. For an adult the most obvious and defining point of this structure would be being asleep and being awake. then work and mealtimes, after that it is your free time and how you chose to spend it.

However - if your sleep times keep changing or are erratic then this begins to throw the whole routine out. If you are constantly changing your sleep times your body does not know what is happening, it is confused and doesn't work as well. Just like the children being cranky and displaying difficult behaviours when there is no daily routine.
As discussed in previous posts our bodies need triggers and reminders that it is time to sleep or time to be active, which is why good bedtimes routines can help adults as well as children. It is why shift workers have such problems sleeping as they are constantly changing their body rhythms.

I used to fight long and hard against the concept of any daily routine, especially in regards to sleep. I would tell myself that it was impractical to have a regular bedtime and wake up time, if I was actually sleeping - why wake and stop that. When on a week's holiday I could quite easily stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning reading and then wake up mid-morning, have a nap in the afternoon (because I had gone to sleep late) and go to sleep even later the next night. Within a couple of days my sleep patterns would be out the window and I would be cat napping when ever and where ever, but not getting a good night's sleep. The end result was that I would go back to work feeling exhausted, despite having had all that extra time to sleep!

Last year I took a good hard look at what was going on and decided to redefine my sleep routines. Though it was hard to admit, I am no longer a teenager and all night parties two or three times a week just don't happen any more!
So I looked at my work schedule, took into account my night owl tendencies and came up with a plan that I would get up at 8.30am at the latest. Every day. It seemed really tough for me at first but it has worked. A couple of days a week I need to get up earlier for work but I tell myself this is the exception, not the norm. On the weekends and the days I work from home the alarm is set for 8.30. It is easier to set up a regular getting up time, than a going to sleep time.

I won't lie and say it was easy. There were times I longed to stay in bed and sleep some more. It wasn't quick either, but I have stuck with it and it is paying off. My sleep has really improved!

I now get tired in the late evenings and actually want to go to bed (depending on how busy the day has been it varies between 11 and midnight). Though I do wake in the night, it is briefly. I now tend to wake before the alarm - something that I thought I would never say, and have some time in that nice drowsy state that used to happen after a lie-in, so I'm not missing out on that. The urge to nap has decreased and if I nap now, it is usually after an early start. I still have the occasional bad night, but it is now once every couple of weeks rather than several times a week.

The strange thing is that I now don't feel as if I am depriving myself of anything. I really thought that would be a problem (and in the early days it was hard) but as I am sleeping in more of a block, I wake up more refreshed and am able to achieve more and do more with my day.

The added bonus is that if I do pull a late night because of a party etc, it feels more special, like something spontaneous and different! There is a difference between going to bed at 3am because I was mooching round the house as usual and going to bed at 3am because I was out celebrating.

So if your sleep patterns are erratic, then I encourage you to take the plunge and set up a routine and see what happens. Remember, if you want advice or support with this, then please contact me, I'd love to help you get a great night's sleep.

Also if you want some new ideas and methods to help you go to sleep then check out next week's free http://www.worldsleepsummit.com/index.html, which I have set up especially to support people with sleep problems.

Sweet dreams!

The drugs don't work.... (well, not in the long term)

Ok, so I have shamelessly taken the title from The Verve classic - please forgive me.

I've know for ages that sleeping tablets don't cure insomnia, at best they help you get some sleep, but will leave you feeling drowsy, foggy, lethargic and not exactly raring to go. After a while your body becomes used to them and they lose their potency, so higher and higher doses are needed, or to change types.

I have used sleeping tablets in the past. Living in the UK these were difficult to get hold of. I'd be lucky to get a fortnight's supply 'to get back into a sleep pattern', however this never seemed to work. After a few years I had this system going with my doctor where he would prescribe me a pack about twice a year, and I would use half a tablet at a time, normally when I'd had a bad run of nights or had something important to do the next day. This didn't really help change my sleep patterns but was enough to stop me going over the edge. This worked well enough for another few years until one day I was in the doctor's surgery, crying my eyes out, absolutely exhausted from sleeping about 2 hours a night for nights on end and being told that he couldn't give me any more tablets as it was against the new Trust policies.
Then, when asking if there was a sleep centre he could refer me to, being told there wasn't and being presented with some leaflets about reducing caffeine and having a bath before going to bed. At this point I hadn't drunk caffeine for about 15 years. I was so angry that my one source of help, the tablets, were being denied me.

Now, when I look at some of the insomnia forums on the web and see people writing up what combinations and doses of drugs they use to go to sleep, I am quite glad that I was never given the option to go down the taking ever increasing amounts of drugs route. It forced me to look into alternative methods to change my sleep patterns.

Last night I was interviewing a friend and colleague of mine, Warren Broad, who is a clinical hypnotherapist, for my upcoming Sleep Summit and he told me why the drugs don't work long term, it was really interesting.

So here comes the science bit -

When going to sleep, your brain slips from being fully conscious into a state of trance, and then into sleep. We often slip into a state of trance during the day without realising it, normally when we are doing something that is repetitive or part of our routine. It is so familiar to us that we don't have to concentrate fully. The example he gave was driving into work. How many times have you got to work and can recall nothing about your journey?

Being in a state of trance is an important part of drifting off to sleep. You have probably been jolted out of this state by a loud noise etc, just as you are drifting off to sleep and have to then take the time to get into that state.

Sleeping tablets work by taking you directly from a state of waking into a state of being comatose, missing out the state of trance. Being comotosed also means that you are unable to dream, which is an important part of sleep. It is the not dreaming that leaves you with this feeling of drowsiness in the mornings, because despite actually sleeping, it has not been a fully restorative sleep. There are also the unpleasant side effects of the drugs themselves such as a dry mouth to contend with as well.

So sleeping tablets can not help long term, as they do not allow the brain to go through the stages needed to drift off to sleep. For most people insomnia is a long term problem and the ability to turn off and drift off has been lost. It is a common complaint for those with sleep problems say they cannot switch of the mental chatter in their brains, and it is the ability to stop this chatter that allows you to go into trance and then into sleep. This is why methods that help you retrain your brain (such as hypnosis and behaviour therapy) have proven to be more effective at helping with long term sleep problems than using sleeping tablets.

If you are interested in learning about methods to help you improve your sleep, then please check out the Sleep Summit here.

At this point I would like to say that there are of course situations where sleeping tablets are the most effective and helpful course of treatment and should be used when prescribed by a doctor. As stated I have used them in the past and been grateful for the sleep they gave me. This article is not intended to replace any medical advice and you must discuss with your doctor first any changes you may wish to make to your prescription. 

Hummingbirds

I have had a couple of conversations with people recently about the whole Night Owl/Morning Lark concept and is it really a genetic thing and is it possible to change and have come across a new term - Hummingbirds. I adore these little birds and loved seeing large flocks of them in Costa Rica. Unfortunately I am not one!

There are people for whom their circadian rhythms are hard wired and they find it difficult to change. Latest studies estimate that 1 in 10 of us is a Lark and 2 in 10 are Owls. The rest hover in-between and can adapt to either situation, the Hummingbirds.

I see this when working in daycare with the young children. Most of the children are Hummingbirds and are lively throughout the day, perhaps slightly quieter first thing in the morning and becoming a little more grisly towards the evening. However you do see outstanding examples of Owls and Larks too.

One little 18 month old is a happy little boy, he arrives in the morning and gets on with his day. He is perfectly sociable and enjoys taking part in the activities and being around the other children. He has his midday nap and when he gets up he is a completely different child, he is far more energetic, laughs, shows his cheeky side, and is generally far more outgoing. It is amazing to watch. With his being so young, his sleep patterns take up most of the day and are standard for a child his age, but watching his temperament and behaviour you can see that he will be someone who comes alive later in the day.

Likewise, there is a little baby of 7 months, who rarely sleeps in the morning. He enjoys rolling around on the floor and playing with the toys. Try and get him to have a morning nap is difficult, put him in his cot and he will cry. You may be lucky to get 15 minutes from him. However he will sleep in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see how this develops but I suspect he will become an Lark.

The Hummingbirds have the advantages of being flexible and adaptable, they can get up early to start a shift, catch a flight etc as well as party till the early hours. The Hummingbird can also adapt more easily to life changes like a staying up late when at college, getting up earlier when starting in the workforce, having early rising children, switching to later sleep patterns when they retire.

I am a hard wired Night Owl and it has been difficult to bring my sleep times forward to Midnight to 8.30am, (my preferred times were 2am to 10am) and at the moment I can not see it getting any earlier. I struggle when on shift patterns and these are only variations of a couple of hours, not a day/night shift pattern such as hospital staff.  The way I cope now is to tell myself that the two days a week that I need to get up before 8.30 are the exception and not the norm. Psychologically that works for me.

Hummingbirds profit well from the modern lifestyle and work well throughout the day. Some Owls and Larks are in jobs that suit their hours but how do you make this work if you are in the 9-5. In reality the best thing to do is to work out your personal timings and when you do things well and incorporate those into your day. These can apply to Hummingbirds too as you may show a slight preference to when you are feeling more alert and when you are feeling more tired.

- You are alert in the mornings? Then use this time to be your most creative, working on projects, compiling reports etc. Then save your more mundane and routine tasks for later in the day when you are feeling tired or sluggish - checking emails, filling in stats forms etc.

- You take a while to get going in the mornings? Instead of staring into space waiting for inspiration use the time for the routine tasks that do not take much effort and save your meaningful and creative work for the afternoons when you are feeling more dynamic.

More and more jobs offer flexible hours and you can also also use these to your advantage.

So which do you think you are - Owl, Lark or Hummingbird?

Ticking bomb

Sorry to be dramatic, but I want to get serious about sleep.

There is yet another story in the press today about how sleep deprivation can affect health. It has been known that lack of sleep can cause heart disease, diabetes, obesity and poor brain function but the mechanics of how this happened had not been clear. The study found that less sleep alterers the genes thus causing the damage (don't worry, I'm not going into a science lesson here.)

However what I found shocking was the amount of sleep deprivation it took to cause these changes. Not because it was a big number, quite the opposite, but because it was such a small number and the changes happened very quickly.

The study examined the results of less than 6 hours sleep for a week. Let's look at that again - less than 6 hours for a week.

How many hours sleep do you get a night? There are many, many people out there who are getting less than 6 hours sleep, night after night. Even if you are in bed for 6 hours, you'll be getting less when you factor in the time it takes to get to sleep.
Had a hard week? Either staying up late to finish a project or partying hard and not catching up on your sleep, then you could be starting the chain of events.

Fortunately it is possible to easily and quickly improve the quality and length of your sleep. Here are some ideas.

1 - set your alarm clock to remind you to go to bed! Use the alarm function on your phone to set a time to stop working and start going to bed.

2 - switch of computers and work phones early in the evenings. Not only do the display screens stimulate your retinas and keep you awake longer, you also need to take a rest from work. Studies have shown that quality not quantity counts when working hard and that your work is more productive if are refreshed and well rested rather than sleep deprived.

3 - make your bedroom a calm and relaxing place to be, rather than a junk room. Ban computers and any other work associations. You will sleep better and more effectively if your bedroom is associated with sleep and sex only.

4 - stop drinking caffeine after 2pm, so that it has time to leave your body before bedtime and therefore will not affect your sleep.

5 - if you are an insomniac or have another sleep problem then ask about behavior therapy programmes as these have proven to be the most effective, long term way to improve your sleep. The medical world is waking up to the importance of sleep and there is a lot more support and help available than ever before.

Wishing you a great nights sleep!

Do you have a sleep bank?

A while ago I wrote about sleep debt its affect on day to day life. This time I want to introduce the idea of a sleep bank, where you can 'deposit' sleep hours before a busy week.

Studies have shown that there are benefits for accumulating sleep - Volunteers were split into two groups and one group slept normally for a week and the other accumulated sleep, both groups then had a week of sleep deprivation and only slept 3 hours a night. Those who had accumulated extra sleep performed better at mental and physical tasks, even towards the end of the week.

This is useful information for those in extreme circumstances such as soldiers before a big military operation but how can we use it in day to day life?

If you know that you are going to have a busy week - exams, traveling abroad for work, a relative with a scheduled operation etc, then you can plan to sleep an extra half hour to an hour each night the week before. You can also bank extra time through naps (but remember to keep them to early afternoon).
Try and keep to a regular routine and accumulate your extra sleep by going to bed early rather than lying in late, as you do not want to disturb your night time sleep. It is better to go to bed half an hour early each night, than have a lie-in for two hours one morning.

If you have children with a busy schedule of exams coming up, then ensure they go to bed early in the days leading up to the exams as anxiety and last minute studying may hinder sleep the night before.

If you are a competitive athlete and have been training for a big run or event then banking your sleep may help give you that edge on race day.

Going away for the weekend but will be sleeping a strange (and possibly uncomfortable) bed or be burning the candle at both ends for a weekend city break? Then planning your sleep ahead will help you make the most of your time away.

However please bear in mind that just like a bank account - if you already have a sleep debt, then trying to bank sleep will not work in your favour as you will still be repaying your debt!

Sweet dreams!

New year, more sleep?

I never usually make New Year resolutions, mainly because my birthday is at the beginning of January and it's no fun starting a diet on the 1st of Jan when you know that you're going out celebrating in a few days time!
Yep, I was the person who gave up smoking on the 10th January 2000, I still get weird looks from people when asked about that.

However having this slightly more realistic time frame works and makes me far less likely to give up on my new plans after a few days.

The other thing that I have found works well is to have positive resolutions rather than negative one or at least to phrase them in a positive way. Wordplay helps a lot in making it more likely to be a successful resolution.

Telling yourself that you are going on a diet immediately fills your head with images of boring food, no treats, a strict regime etc. Telling yourself that you are going to make healthy food choices gives you a wide range of foods to choose from and more options to think about.

Likewise telling yourself that you are going to get fit, or have a slim body feels so much better than telling yourself you are going to lose weight or go jogging every day.

You can also try positive resolutions such as making 2013 the year you complete a 10k run, or go skydiving, write a book or a blog. It needn't be a big (or even expensive choice) you can resolve to say 'Yes' more often and see where that takes you, or start writing a gratitude diary every evening and see how that puts you in a more positive frame of mind. You could try smiling at passers-by in the street - it makes both you and them feel good, or giving out more compliments.

One of the things that I'm adding to my list is to go to bed a little earlier than I do at the moment! On 'school nights' I tend to get around 7 hours sleep but this is not enough for me, so I need to go to bed a little earlier. I know it will help me both physically and mentally (more energy, stamina, reduced appetite etc), but tend to find myself just checking out 'one more thing' on the internet before going to bed. The worst thing is that I know that I'm doing it and still do nothing about it!
In order to make it easier I'm going to set my alarm to remind me to go to bed! It's something I read about and thought 'Hey that's a great idea' but have never done. So 2013 is going to be the year I do it. I'm also going to make it realistic and aim for 15 minutes extra sleep to start with, I know that if I set for an extra hour I'll still think I have plenty of time for sleep and so ignore it and stay up! I feel I will be more successful if I do gradual increments, well I've got a whole year to get there!

Why not make 2013 the year to improve your sleep? It will reduce your stress levels, improve your health, help you lose weight and give you more energy - all pretty good results from one resolution!

Sweet dreams.

So why do we sleep?

"As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy." William Dement - Stanford University Sleep Research Centre.

There is very little research into sleep (and even less into sleep disorders), so much so that no-one is exactly sure why we sleep. It seems such a strange thing in evolutionary terms to sleep - to deliberately leave ourselves vulnerable and defenseless to predators while we snooze and snore.

It was only in the last century that scientists realised that the brain was active during sleep, up till then it had been thought that sleep was a period of inactivity and not worth studying. Now modern tracking techniques have shown how active the brain is at night, this has lead to the discovery of the sleep cycles and the difference between REM and deep, slow wave sleep. These discoveries have allowed for new theories to be put forward as to why we sleep. However they are sill only theories!

Theory 1 - Rest and recuperation
That sleep allows the body a chance to rest and recuperate from being in a state of heightened awareness throughout the day. Sleep allows the body time to heal and repair itself. If we become sleep deprived we are more susceptible to illnesses and take longer to recover.

Theory 2 - Learning
Sleep and the temporary absence of consciousness allows the brain time to process all the information it has learnt and reorganise itself. Again sleep deprivation tests have shown that a lack of REM sleep affects your ability to perform tasks and a lack of deep sleep affects the recall of knowledge.

Theory 3 - Dreaming
Dreams seem to be a result of REM sleep, so maybe the reason we sleep is to dream?

Science is still learning a lot about the world of sleep and new research will hopefully answer our questions about sleep and dreams. In the meantime, we can help our bodies and minds by making sure we allow enough time to sleep.

Sweet dreams

The second sleep

Do you often wake in the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep straight away?
Maybe it's not because you're a freak or different but because we are genetically programmed to do this!

There has been a lot of interest recently (with articles by the BBC, the Times and The Guardian amongst others) about 'the second sleep' and it seems that the human brain is actually programmed to sleep in two four hour chunks.

Research in the 1990's took volunteers and put them in 14 hours of darkness each day. After a few weeks the volunteers had started to sleep in two 4 hour blocks with a one to two hour period of being awake in the middle. despite being of great interest to sleep scientists, the belief that an eight hour block of sleep being the norm has persisted.

Then 2005, historian Roger Ekirch published a book called At Day's Close: Night in Times Past, where he draws on his research where he found over 500 references to segmented sleep in books, in diaries, court records, medical books and literature. what he found interesting was the way in which the references to this sleep pattern were made - as if it was totally normal and that everyone did it.

It seems that the labourers would come home from the work, have something to eat then go to bed - usually because they were really tired! Then approx 4 hours later they would wake up and do things! It was a time for conversation, for prayer, visiting the neighbours, having sex etc. Then they would go to bed and have a second sleep, and wake at dawn ready for another days work.
A doctor's manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day's labour but "after the first sleep", when "they have more enjoyment" and "do it better".

Ekirch found that references to the segmented sleep dwindle from the 17th Century onwards and links this to social change, the shift to living in cities and eventually the increase in street and domestic lighting, which helped develop a leaning towards socialising in the evening and pushed sleep into one later block of up to 8 hours.

Though the majority of people have adapted to sleeping in one 8 hour block, sleep researchers now think that this could be the root cause of sleep maintenance insomnia, where sufferers wake during the night. It is helpful to realise that most people do wake in the night but that most do not remember it, whereas an insomnia suffer, who is already stressed about lack of sleep, may become more anxious at waking and take longer to fall back asleep. For these people it the realisation that it is not some abnormality but in fact genetic programming may help them and their anxieties around sleep.

In fact, if we look there is still evidence of this segmented sleep around us. Babies who need to wake in the night for feeding, toddlers who still need an afternoon nap, and in hotter climates - an afternoon siesta during the heat of the day, followed by working later in the cool of the evening. The modern world with 24 hour electricity and an unbroken day work ethic actually is encroaching on our sleep patterns even more.

So maybe for those of us who do wake in the night, we need to be celebrating this fact - that we are more in tune with nature and our bodies, that we can use this period of wakefulness for contemplation, meditation and destress (just like our forefathers used the time for prayer and relaxation). Since I found out about segmented sleep a few months ago, I am more relaxed about waking in the night and call it my 'throwback'. Ironically, since being more relaxed about night time waking, I sleep better!

Please comment below if you are a segmented sleeper or have issues around night time waking, I'd love to know your thoughts.

Sweet dreams!

The stick process

This post follows on from last week's post about your thought patterns, so please read that first, then this one will make more sense!
 I use this process with coaching clients who are stuck in one thought pattern and want to change to another. This works well with sleep problems, especially insomnia and other non specific disorders, though you can use it with any situation you feel stuck in - weight loss, lack of money etc. It is a visualisation process, so allow yourself to picture the situation and notice how your body feels during the two different stages.

Picture that you are holding a stick in your hand - it needs to be a really long stick, (you'll see why in a minute), as big as a javelin. It's impossible to hold it at both ends.
Now imagine at one end of the stick is the negative thoughts that you have around sleep -
I always sleep badly
Why can't I sleep like everyone else
I'm always tired etc

Now imagine the other end of the stick, and it has all the positive thoughts that about sleep -
I sleep like a baby
I always wake feeling rested and refreshed
Sleep restores my body etc

Now because this stick is so big, you can only hold one end of it. If you are holding the end that has all the negative thoughts, then you cannot hold the end with the positive thoughts.

Now picture yourself holding the stick at the negative end. Start repeating all the negative thoughts that you have about sleep and notice how you feel. Is your body tensing up? How is your breath? How do you feel about sleep? Just as we discussed last week, it is our thoughts that hold us back from what we want and determine what we achieve, so if you are holding the negative end of the stick you are like the repelling end of the magnet and  is pushing away the possibility of great sleep.

It is impossible to have both negative and positive thoughts about sleep (or whatever subject you are choosing) at the same time, so you need to drop the stick, and change your thought patterns!

So you can now chose to hold the positive end, the end with the positive thoughts about sleep. So picture yourself holding the stick at the positive end and start to go through those positive thoughts and  notice how different it feels. How much calmer you become and how the possibility for great sleep becomes more real. This is like the positive end of a magnet that attracts more good thoughts and then as these increase, more good feelings about sleep.

So next time you realise that you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, (perhaps you are in bed and unable to fall asleep), take a deep breath and ask which end of the stick are you holding and which end do you want to be holding and make a conscious decision to take hold of the positive. Really focus on those good feelings and allow your body to relax as this will allow you to sleep.

I hope this visualisation helps you in achieving a better night's sleep, please let me know your thoughts and if it works.

Sweet dreams

 (I just went to check where I found this process and it wasn't in the book I thought it was. So, I would love to give credit for it, so if anyone recognises it, then please let me know!)

What's your sleep story?

One of the fascinating things that I have discovered when talking to people about their sleep, is how different everyone's sleep history is.

During my insomnia days I wanted to put my head on my pillow, fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours - 'Like everyone else did!' However, the more I talk to people about sleep, the more I realize that not many people do sleep for 8 hours straight.

It is much more likely that people have individual quirks when it comes to sleep - needing the temperature just right, sleep talking, snoring, delays in going to sleep, waking in the night for no reason, being woken by strange noises, habits changing over time, needing sleep rituals... The list seems almost endless. What I have found reassuring about this is that even if I have felt alone at 3am and felt like I was the only person awake at that time, that actually I'm not, and that other people have their sleep stories too. I have found that really reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one. It also helped reduce my stress over sleep and, strangely, made falling asleep a little easier.

I have asked some of my friends to share their sleep stories - what affects them, how they overcame sleep disturbances, funny stories of sleep talking/walking etc. I will be adding more stories over the next few weeks, so if you have an interesting, unusual or funny story that you would like to share, then please contact me, I'd love to talk to you about it!

Here is the link to the first few stories.
http://www.charlottewelply.com/sleep-stories.html

Hope you enjoy listening to them and remember to check back regularly for more stories!

Sweet dreams

The Benefits of Insomnia

It seems strange to say but there were a few things that I liked about being an insomniac. Yes, the sleep deprivation and its effects were not good were not good as I was constantly tired and exhausted, the grey circles under my eyes were not a fashion statement and I was always looking for the magic pill to make me sleep but it wasn't all bad, which is why I guess it took me so long to sort it out.

When you are awake in the middle of the night there is this strange feeling of being the only person in the world, that it is all yours. You look out of the window onto a quiet city, no traffic, no people, a silence that you don't normally hear and it seems very refreshing and calming and a time to enjoy the city in a different way.

If there is a lighted window in the distance I can feel some sort of connection with whoever lives there - we are both awake when everyone else is asleep.

I would be able to recall my dreams very easily and because I would wake so many times in the night, I could recall 3 or 4 different dreams in one night. This is something that I really do miss from my insomniac days (or should that be nights?) as now I can only recall one dream a night, so I make the most of lazy weekend starts and try and recall that one dream in as much detail and as far back as I possibly can.

As an insomniac you belong to a club, a club involving 10% of the population. It's something that you may discover in conversation "Oh, you're an insomniac too?" and suddenly you are in a whole different line of conversation that good sleepers can't join in! Now when talking about insomnia I feel like the 'virtuous ex smoker' hanging around in a cigarette break telling people not to smoke, or even worse - that I'm hanging around the in-crowd trying to be cool enough to fit in. I don't quite belong.

Then there is the feeling of martyrdom, of suffering while all those around you are enjoying themselves. "I only had 3 hours sleep last night, but I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." and waiting for the sympathy to pour in. Actually thinking about this, this is probably the one area I don't miss that much. Now that I see others doing it around me - it annoys me. Thank goodness I don't do that anymore!

When I was a teenager my mother was quite ill and often woke in the night and I would sometimes find her awake in the kitchen and we would sit and have a chat over a cup of (chamomile) tea before going back to bed. I used to call it 'Club 2.30'. It was a special time and gave me an opportunity to get to know her as a person rather than just 'Mum'. Memories of her I shall treasure forever.

So, as you can see there have been quite a few benefits for me of being an insomniac and I do miss them and writing this post makes me feel very nostalgic. However the benefits that I have gained from sleeping through the night do outweigh this and I am glad that I made the decision to change to a sleep mindset.

Sweet dreams!

Sleep deprivation

First of all, let me apologize for an absence of posts lately, I have been busy setting things up for my sleep coaching business, please check out my website, where you have access to a free guided meditation to help you sleep! Things are now back under control and I have more time to write blog posts!

I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night, actually that should be this morning, as it was around 1am, I am, as I have said before a night owl!

He brought up the fact that he wasn't an insomniac however he did not get enough sleep as he was always doing 'one more thing' before bed. He also mentioned the internet as being a big cause of this!

This got me thinking, we have heard a lot about how insomnia can lead to big health problems including weight gain, diabetes, stress, high blood pressure etc, but what does the effect of sleep deprivation have on health? In some ways insomnia and deliberate sleep deprivation are the same thing and a quick search through the internet reveals that yes, they do both have the same effect on your body.
So if you are someone who goes to bed late and therefore does not get enough sleep please read on for three surprising affects that may help you make more of an effort to go to bed on time!

It ages your skin. It seems that the term 'Beauty Sleep' holds true, and this should be enough to get everyone rushing in to bed to catch up on their zzzzzzz's. The first thing you notice is red and puffy eyes as well as grey rings under your eyes, and it can also lead to the development of fine lines. However lack of sleep also has more long term damage. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol. In excess amounts, cortisol can break down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic.
Sleep loss also causes the body to release too little human growth hormone. When we’re young, human growth hormone promotes growth. As we age, it helps increase muscle mass, thicken skin, and strengthen bones. It is in deep sleep when the growth hormone repairs the tissues in the body, are you getting enough deep sleep?

It makes you forgetful. Want to remain sharp and focused? Try getting plenty of sleep. Researchers determined that brain events called “sharp wave ripples” are responsible for consolidating memory. The ripples also transfer learned information from the hippocampus to the neocortex of the brain, where long-term memories are stored. Sharp wave ripples occur mostly during the deepest levels of sleep.

It impairs your judgment, especially about how much sleep you need! Lack of sleep can affect our interpretation of events. This hurts our ability to make sound judgments because we may not assess situations accurately and act on them wisely.
Sleep-deprived people seem to be especially prone to poor judgment when it comes to assessing what lack of sleep is doing to them. In our increasingly fast-paced world, functioning on less sleep has become a kind of badge of honor. However even if you think you’re doing fine on less sleep, you’re probably wrong. Studies have shown that even if you think your body has adapted to only six hours sleep, tests on mental alertness and performance show that is not the case.

So, if you wear your lack of sleep as a badge of honour, ask yourself is it really worth staying up to watch that tv show? Do you actually need to check that one last thing on the internet?
How about being kind to yourself and going to bed on time, aiming for 7 to 8 hours sleep, so you can wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed - ready to face the day! Check out my previous post about setting up a great bedtime routine to help you make the most of your sleep.

Sweet dreams!

The perfect bedroom

In the last post, I encouraged you to look at your bedrooms and see if they could be made more sleep friendly by taking things out. This time, it's about putting things in!!

Doing these things is not going to cure insomnia overnight, but will definitely help. A lot of insomniacs dread going to bed as it brings up associations with not sleeping, with lying in bed awake, tossing and turning, in fact bed is associated with everything but sleep.
In order to start changing this mindset, it helps to make your bedroom somewhere where you want to go, a place that you want to spend time in.

In my London flat, the bedroom was the last place I decorated. My logic went along the lines of the other rooms - where I would be spending most of my waking time and where I would entertain, seemed to be the most important to get looking good. So by the time I got round to my bedroom, it had already become a dumping ground and the thought of moving all the stuff out seemed too daunting, so I kept delaying and delaying! Then when I did get round to painting - I painted it a bright and cheery yellow.

In hindsight all these things were big mistakes and I was not creating a calm, relaxing place to sleep.

Since then I have done a lot more research into sleep and especially (the horribly clinical sounding) 'sleep hygine'. It all makes sense!

Your bedroom should be a calm, relaxing place to be and my bright yellow walls were more stimulating than calming. So think about your colour scheme - is it calming or stimulating?

What is your bed like? Does your mattress need replacing? It is recommended to replace them every 10 years. It is also worth spending quite a lot on a good quality mattress that supports your back. It can seem a waste to spend a lot of money on something as simple as a mattress, but you do spend a 3rd of your life in bed, might as well be comfortable when you're there! Take your time buying a mattress, spend an afternoon or two trying out different ones, go on, lie on all the beds in Ikea!! I like a good quality sprung mattress, but if anyone has tried the tempura ones, please comment below and let us know what they are like.

How about the bedding? I like pure cotton, it feels so good! I also prefer white sheets, this may be something to do with Feng Shui that I learnt in Hong Kong, but it could be just because I like the look, the reasons are lost in the mists of time. I also have one of the 4 seasons type duvets and even in the winter have them in two separate duvet covers as I like to be able to adjust the temperature. I also have a feather duvet as I was going for luxury and the feelgood factor, but again, this is a personal preference. I also sleep on an anatomical pillow. At first it was strange but now I really like it and don't feel as if I have the same support from a traditional pillow. I also have a feather pillow that I hug!

The bedroom should also be slightly cooler than the other rooms, as again this helps sleep. I know that I find it difficult to sleep in a heated room and like to have the window open.

I know some people swear by blackout blinds. I did have one when the bedroom window was East facing and the sun would come in early in the morning, but apart from that one place have not felt the need for one. What about your bedroom window, would one help you?

So look through the list and think about the different areas and if there are things you could change. You may say to yourself - but I need to have 3 pillows, but if you are not sleeping with 3, is it worth trying something different? You could be saying - I need to warm whan I sleep, but again, could this be something to change to see if you sleep better?

I used to read these articles and ignore them, but the reality has been that changing things, little by little, has improved my quality of sleep. I love going to bed, I know I'll be cosy and comfortable and that helps a lot when I'm going to sleep. Let me know what works for you - it could really helpful for another reader too.

Sweet dreams!

Clearing the clutter for sleep

As an insomniac, one of the things you tend to do is read a lot of information about sleep and how to get it. If a magazine article promises you a great night's sleep, I would buy the magazine in the hope of the one magic tip that would transform my night's of wakefulness into ones of blissful slumber. Usually they would repeat the same old things - don't have caffeine in the evenings, exercise, warm bath, use the bedroom for sleeping only etc, etc. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, " I'd say to myself  "I've not drank caffeine for x years, do a job like mine and you exercise all day, I fall asleep in the bath but not in bed,  try not using your bedroom for anything else when you live in London...." 

You see my home in South London was the top floor of a semi-detached house that had been made into flats. Due to this it, had an unusual design feature of a huge bedroom that was bigger than the living room. This meant that I used it to store all sorts of things in there - the ironing board, the hoover, piles of books etc, basically it had a lot of stuff in there. A lot. Somewhere amongst it all was my bed, with a lot of stuff stored under it. At that time I was not ready for changing my sleeping habits and I did not take any of this 'strange' advice easily and put up barriers as to why I couldn't change things.

When I came to France, I ended up in this amazing flat with 4 metre high ceilings - which gives it a great feeling of space. It has a bedroom, bathroom, mezzanine and a huge open plan living/kitchen area. The bedroom is tiny and could just about fit a double bed in and not much else. I realised that for the space to work for me I'd need to use the bedroom as my massage room (it's the perfect size for that) and sleep in the mezzanine above the bathroom. With the help of friends I managed to get my bed up there (you have to go up a ladder) and fortunately - not much else will go up there. The mezzanine is quite low and I can't stand up properly in it but I can sit up in bed, so I just spend my time up there sleeping. 

I now understand why all these magazine articles tell you to use your bedroom for sleeping. It is now an area that I associate with sleep, it is calm up there and not much to distract me. As I need help if I want to take anything up there that needs to be held with more than one hand, there is very little there. Now when I go up there, it is because I am tired and am going to bed. This strong association has helped my brain make a link between bed and feeling sleepy and, in turn, has helped me improve my quality of sleep.

Now I can really see why clutter is a problm for sleep. I worked with one client who showed me a picture of her bedroom and she had so much clutter in there it was hard to get to her bed. How can that be a productive environment for sleep, when your stuff is actually crowding in on your bed? Another woman mentioned that she slept on the sofa as her room had got to such a state that there was too much clutter actually on the bed! 

In coaching circles there is a lot of emphasis on clearing clutter. It helps you let go of the past and gives you physical space to allow more into your life, whether that be a new job or relationship. If your finances are in a mess, and you have no idea of your income and expenditure then the first thing a financial advisor will tell you to do is to sort out your paperwork and set up a budget. It's the same for sleep - if you want to attract more sleep into your life, then a peaceful tidy bedroom is going to be preferable in helping you relax and unwind after a busy day rather than a messy dumping ground! I would really encourage you to make your bedroom a place for sleep.

Take out the computer and the television

Go through your wardrobes and donate old clothes to charity (let someone else benefit from it!) 

Go through books and get rid of the ones you will not read again

Be brave and find out what is under the bed

Are there other places you can keep the ironing board and vacuum cleaner? (Can you clear a space elsewhere?)

Hopefully there won't be too much to do, but if it does seem like a daunting challenge start with one drawer or cupboard and see how much better you feel after completing that. I promise you, you will.

So arm yourself with a binbag for things to throw out, a box for charity donations and a box for recycling, put on some energetic music that makes you want to dance and have fun! 

If you would like moral support, motivation or just a plain old kick up the backside to get you started then why not join our Clearing the Clutter for Sleep live event (for free) on Saturday 28th September? Click here for more details. 

Sweet dreams.