Getting tough on insomnia

If, like me, when you are suffering from a lack of sleep you are searching continuously for the magic pill that will help you sleep normally'. I tried most things in my quest for a magical night's sleep - acupuncture, over the counter remedies, prescribed pills, aromatherapy, massages, exercise etc. I tried different sleep routines from waking earlier, to trying to reset my bodyclock by going to bed two hours later each day.

Some had a slight effect, improving my sleep a little (bedsocks), some worked during the course of treatment but stopped when I stopped (acupuncture), some had no affect whatsoever - Valerian supplements, some seemed heartily boring - going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, and others seemed a little extreme.

However, one of the extreme ones did actually work and so I will recommend it.

Initially it seems counter-intuitive, you actually sleep less and spend less time in bed. When you stop to think about it, it does make sense. As an insomniac I was spending longer and longer in bed in search of that elusive thing called sleep. At the weekends I could easily spend 10 or more hours in bed - trying to sleep, but actually only getting about 5 or 6 hours. Even on weekdays the amount of time I spent in bed v the amount of time sleeping was quite different.
This leads to a point where the brain stops associating bed with sleep, and instead associates it with lying awake.

In order to stop this and turn it back to the association of bed = sleep, you need to spend less time in bed! A favourite behavioural therapy solution to this is to work out how much time you are actually sleeping and then go to bed for that amount of time.

It works like this -

Keep a sleep diary for a couple of weeks and record each night how much you are sleeping in total. If you sleep in several smaller blocks add these together to get your nightly total.

After two weeks work out your average sleep time. In the this example let's say 5 and half hours.

Work out what time you need to wake up and then count back your sleep time. Again let's say 7am is your wake up time, so in order to get 5 and half hours sleep you need to be in bed at 1.30am.

Go to bed at this new time until you are sleeping through from 1.30 - 7am. This needs to be done 7 nights a week with no lie-ins or naps!  these times can adjusted to your body clock, if going to bed in the early hours of the morning feels alien to you then go to bed earlier but wake up (and get up) 5 and a half hours later!
If your average sleep time is less than 5 hours then set your sleep time for 5 hours - his is the absolute minimum amount of time to be aiming for.

After you have been sleeping through for a week, then go to bed 15 minutes earlier at 1.15am. Then when you are sleeping through again, slowly build up the amount of time you spend in bed in 15 minute increments.

If this process is done correctly then within a couple of months you wall be sleeping through, night after night and with in a few months you will have a normal sleeping pattern of 7 to 8 solid hours of sleep a night.

I call this techniques sleep condensing, as it retrains the brain from a fragmented sleeping pattern into a solid sleeping pattern. It needs to be done slowly and built up over time, so that you remain in a state of solid sleeping.

The efforts are worth the rewards and after a few months it is possible to then re-instate a couple of sneaky lie-ins and the occasional afternoon nap. It does need to be closely monitored and if night time waking starts becoming a regular feature of your sleep again, then you may need to cut back a little of your time in bed to re-establish a solid night of sleep again - just as someone who watches their weight may cut back on their calories after an over indulgent holiday!

Sleep condensing may also have to be combined with other sleep essentials (such as reducing caffeine, switching off electronic equipment an hour before bed
etc) in order to work well.

If you want to try this, then good luck and let me know how you go!

Sweet dreams.

If you would like more help with achieving overcoming insomnia and other sleep problems then please contact me at charlotte@charlottewelply.com and we can set up a free introductory coaching session.

Ticking bomb

Sorry to be dramatic, but I want to get serious about sleep.

There is yet another story in the press today about how sleep deprivation can affect health. It has been known that lack of sleep can cause heart disease, diabetes, obesity and poor brain function but the mechanics of how this happened had not been clear. The study found that less sleep alterers the genes thus causing the damage (don't worry, I'm not going into a science lesson here.)

However what I found shocking was the amount of sleep deprivation it took to cause these changes. Not because it was a big number, quite the opposite, but because it was such a small number and the changes happened very quickly.

The study examined the results of less than 6 hours sleep for a week. Let's look at that again - less than 6 hours for a week.

How many hours sleep do you get a night? There are many, many people out there who are getting less than 6 hours sleep, night after night. Even if you are in bed for 6 hours, you'll be getting less when you factor in the time it takes to get to sleep.
Had a hard week? Either staying up late to finish a project or partying hard and not catching up on your sleep, then you could be starting the chain of events.

Fortunately it is possible to easily and quickly improve the quality and length of your sleep. Here are some ideas.

1 - set your alarm clock to remind you to go to bed! Use the alarm function on your phone to set a time to stop working and start going to bed.

2 - switch of computers and work phones early in the evenings. Not only do the display screens stimulate your retinas and keep you awake longer, you also need to take a rest from work. Studies have shown that quality not quantity counts when working hard and that your work is more productive if are refreshed and well rested rather than sleep deprived.

3 - make your bedroom a calm and relaxing place to be, rather than a junk room. Ban computers and any other work associations. You will sleep better and more effectively if your bedroom is associated with sleep and sex only.

4 - stop drinking caffeine after 2pm, so that it has time to leave your body before bedtime and therefore will not affect your sleep.

5 - if you are an insomniac or have another sleep problem then ask about behavior therapy programmes as these have proven to be the most effective, long term way to improve your sleep. The medical world is waking up to the importance of sleep and there is a lot more support and help available than ever before.

Wishing you a great nights sleep!

The stick process

This post follows on from last week's post about your thought patterns, so please read that first, then this one will make more sense!
 I use this process with coaching clients who are stuck in one thought pattern and want to change to another. This works well with sleep problems, especially insomnia and other non specific disorders, though you can use it with any situation you feel stuck in - weight loss, lack of money etc. It is a visualisation process, so allow yourself to picture the situation and notice how your body feels during the two different stages.

Picture that you are holding a stick in your hand - it needs to be a really long stick, (you'll see why in a minute), as big as a javelin. It's impossible to hold it at both ends.
Now imagine at one end of the stick is the negative thoughts that you have around sleep -
I always sleep badly
Why can't I sleep like everyone else
I'm always tired etc

Now imagine the other end of the stick, and it has all the positive thoughts that about sleep -
I sleep like a baby
I always wake feeling rested and refreshed
Sleep restores my body etc

Now because this stick is so big, you can only hold one end of it. If you are holding the end that has all the negative thoughts, then you cannot hold the end with the positive thoughts.

Now picture yourself holding the stick at the negative end. Start repeating all the negative thoughts that you have about sleep and notice how you feel. Is your body tensing up? How is your breath? How do you feel about sleep? Just as we discussed last week, it is our thoughts that hold us back from what we want and determine what we achieve, so if you are holding the negative end of the stick you are like the repelling end of the magnet and  is pushing away the possibility of great sleep.

It is impossible to have both negative and positive thoughts about sleep (or whatever subject you are choosing) at the same time, so you need to drop the stick, and change your thought patterns!

So you can now chose to hold the positive end, the end with the positive thoughts about sleep. So picture yourself holding the stick at the positive end and start to go through those positive thoughts and  notice how different it feels. How much calmer you become and how the possibility for great sleep becomes more real. This is like the positive end of a magnet that attracts more good thoughts and then as these increase, more good feelings about sleep.

So next time you realise that you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, (perhaps you are in bed and unable to fall asleep), take a deep breath and ask which end of the stick are you holding and which end do you want to be holding and make a conscious decision to take hold of the positive. Really focus on those good feelings and allow your body to relax as this will allow you to sleep.

I hope this visualisation helps you in achieving a better night's sleep, please let me know your thoughts and if it works.

Sweet dreams

 (I just went to check where I found this process and it wasn't in the book I thought it was. So, I would love to give credit for it, so if anyone recognises it, then please let me know!)

My insomniac lifestyle

In order to start a blog about sleep and to explain my chosen niche as a sleep coach, I need to explain a little about myself.

I was an insomniac for as far back as I can remember, it really did start as a child - which does make sense. My parents were keen on early bedtimes for us as children, I think, like most parents, it was a mix of wanting an evening to themselves as well as knowing that a good night's sleep is important for children's development. The problem for me was that it got to the point were my sleep needs decreased and I wasn't tired when I was sent to bed. My sister and I would sit and chat and mess around in our bedroom, often earning the rage of our parents, who would frequently tell us "Go to sleep, NOW!" This got me into the habit of not associating bedtime with sleep, and during your childhood your brain is easily programmable - great for learning, not so great for bad habits.
My Dad was a Dr and would sometimes be called out in the night, which led to another habit of waking in the night when the phone went and staying awake till he got back.

By the time I was a teenager I thought it was totally normal to go to bed and not fall asleep for an hour or so. It took a camping trip for me to notice how everyone fell asleep really quickly and I was the only one awake, tossing and turning and not sleeping, though I still didn't think there was anything wrong with this.
Over the years the aspects changed slightly. When I went to college I started drinking several cans of coke each day and not getting to sleep till 5 or 6 in the morning. I'd spend the day in a daze and then sleep better the next night. It was a 2 day cycle of sleep/no sleep. I still thought this was relatively normal.

For some reason (lost in the mist of times) I realised this was not normal and perhaps I was an insomniac. I went to see the Dr who asked me how tea and coffee I drank (not much as I never really liked coffee, and only drank a little tea). He then asked about coke and nailed my sleeping difficulties on that. I came off all types of caffeine at the grand old age of 19.
It helped - I remember my Mum telling me there was a difference in my behaviour and I was much more easier to get on with. However the problem was already too deeply ingrained and I was still not sleeping properly. The insomnia also began to change and it wasn't so much a problem of falling asleep but also one of staying asleep.

Over the following years I have had an interesting journey with insomnia. I learnt coping strategies, tried every over the counter medicine going, argued and cried in Dr's surgeries when refused sleeping tablets, stumbled across odd helpful things (bedsocks!), thrown magazine articles claiming to cure insomnia 'in 5 easy steps' against the wall, brought meditation tapes, lived from nap to nap, tried hypnosis, read lots of books, had meltdowns at work after long stretches of 'bad' nights, missed out on social events as I was 'too tired', laughed like a drain when other people complained of one night's bad sleep, etc. Generally putting a lot of effort into something that most people do easily without even thinking about it.

Recently a combination of different strategies has helped me enormously and I now sleep well with the occasional bad night. The world feels so different!! It has been through a mix of CBT, EFT and LOA processes, that helped me discover the causes of my bad habits and gave me powerful ways to retrain my mental thoughts and attitudes to sleep.

Over the coming weeks I will share the journey that I went through and hope you will learn from it too. Please enjoy, feel free to comment, and to any other insomniacs and ex-insomniacs out there, please feel free to share real tips and ideas that have helped you.

I am putting together a sleep well coaching programme, if you are interested in this or in working with me 1-1 to help change your sleeping habits, then please contact me.