Sleep Gadgets

I'm not sure what you're like, but I know that in my quest for a perfect night's sleep I tied out a few gadgets and gimmicks in the hope that they worked.
Most of them did not.

It's a minefield out there, trying to distinguish the hype from the truth and the fact that, as more and more people are reporting that they are sleep deprived, it is becoming a big business sector with many brands jumping on the bandwagon.

These are a few things that I have tried over the years, the list is not exhaustive and are only my feelings, but it would be good to start a discussion. I have not included herbal or alternative medication in this post.

Mattress - There is now a plethora of mattress types out there, all proclaiming to help you get a good night's sleep. They are a huge investment so which one do you choose?
The general advice is to replace them every 10 years and I would support this. In my backpacking days I slept on many a poor quality mattress and had a poor night's sleep. Sagging springs do not support the body and therefore will decrease the quality of your sleep.
As for the style of mattress - this is more a personal choice. A good bed showroom will let you lie on the mattresses and try them out. What is comfortable for one is not for another. If you are a couple that prefer different mattresses then look into getting the style where two different types can be zipped together. I personally find the foam mattresses very hot yet others swear by them. Take your time and try different shops and styles till you find one you like, do not be rushed into buying the first you come across.
Be wary of internet bargains - you can not try them out, what may seem like a good price may result in a low quality mattress. Also be wary of second hand, not only do you not know how old they are, they will have been 'shaped' by someone else's sleeping style. Also there are reports of bed bug infestations spreading through the use of second hand beds and furniture.
I have had a good quality orthopedic mattresses for a long while, it cost more than the basic mattress but was not overly expensive.

Pillows - again this is very much an area defined by personal preferences. I have been converted to the contoured pillows that give you neck support. I started using one because of a lot of tension in my upper back, I found it a little odd at first but now find it difficult to sleep with out one and end up bunching a 'normal' pillow under my neck to recreate the feeling of support.
Fortunately pillows are not as expensive as mattresses so a little trial and error will not cost the earth. Good bed shops will also have different pillows that you can try.

Magnets - A few years ago there was some hype around using magnets in pillows and on undersheets to help improve your sleep. I invested in a small sheet to try it out. I could feel a difference in my circulation (it improved that) but it did not really improve the quality of my sleep.
Magnetic therapy is also claimed to help those with arthritic and joint pain, and of course pain can stop you sleeping well and is a well know cause of insomnia. If you were in this category and wanted to try magnetic therapy, perhaps try a wristband to see if there is any improvement before making larger investments. Also look out for money back guarantees.

Massage machines - again there are certain types of massage machines on the market that claim t help improve sleep quality. The benefits they offer can be debateable. If you are stressed then yes, having a massage can help you relax and then sleep better, so they can help in the treatment of sleep problems rather than effectively cure them.

Sleep monitors - there has often been a huge difference in the amount of sleep that people think they get and the amount of sleep they do get. Traditional methods to show this have mainly revolved around keeping a sleep diary or going to a sleep centre and being 'wired up' for the night. Recently, with the improvement in technology there are some sleep monitors that you can buy and use at home. These, however do not always give accurate results with people reporting that the monitor bands slip off during the night, or register periods of inactivity as sleep, when the users report they were awake but just not moving. Also these monitors just record the amount of sleep you get, they do not improve the quality or length of sleep.

White noise/sound machines - these play background noises and music to either block out other noises or to provide a constant noise to help you fall asleep. I have to say that sometimes I have listened to music or meditations before going to sleep as this helps switch of a racing brain, though have not needed a special machine to help me do this. If you are sharing your bed then it is possible to buy headbands with inbuilt speakers and pillows that you can plug your ipod into so that your partner is not disturbed. If listening to music helps you sleep, it maybe worth checking these out.
If you want to see if white noise could help you sleep, then try running a small electric fan in your room to see if that helps before investing in a special machine.

After many years of trying different approaches, and finding some that helped a little or not at all, the only one that worked long term was following a structured behavioural therapy approach to actually retrain my body in the art of falling asleep and staying sleep. It was an effort at first but it was only for a few weeks and the benefits have been longer lasting than anything else I have tried. 

You know you're an insomniac when.......

I've just finished doing a series of free coaching sessions for people with sleep problems and not only has it has been really great to help people, but it was also fascinating how different and yet how similar their problems were.

So inspired by this, I thought I'd start a list of insomniac traits!

You know you're an insomniac when -

You celebrate getting 4 hours sleep.

It isn't a 2pm 'slump', it's a 2pm tsunami of exhaustion.

You have no idea what a 'sugar rush' is, you've been spoonfeeding yourself all afternoon and still want to sleep.

You laugh like a drain when someone complains they woke early at 5.30am and couldn't get back to sleep.

Your eyebags have bags of their own.

You can't remember the last time you had white eyes.

You tell everyone how amazing the moon looked at 2am this morning and they ask if you're an astronomer.

You've given up counting sheep and have moved onto grains of sand on the beach, but it still doesn't work.

You try your hardest not to snap when someone suggests you try Nytol

Or lavender oil....

You have 7 different shades of concealer in your make up bag, but none of them hide the grey under your eyes.

You can read a whole book in one night.

You are not going to be responsible for your actions towards the next person who says "It must be great to have those extra hours!'

You've forgotten what caffeine tastes like.

You can identify with zombies.

You can't survive without your weekend lie-ins.

When told that exercise will help you sleep and your first thought is "But I haven't got the energy to exercise!"

You could never be described as bright eyed and bushy tailed.

These are a few for a starters, I am sure there are many more and would love to hear your suggestions! 

 

Routines - how they can liberate you

I've been having thoughts along these lines in different areas of my life for a while now, and would like to share how they help with sleep too.

In a former life I used to work with parents, helping them improve their children's behaviour and one of the most common problems was that there was little or no routine in the house. Bedtimes and wake up times were erratic, mealtimes were whenever someone felt like cooking, in fact the only routine seemed to be around school (if there were school aged children in the home) and weekends ended up as one long blur.

When I asked these parents why there was no routine the common response was that they wanted to be 'spontaneous' 'live in the moment' and 'have fun'. There was also a popular theme of having a strict upbringing and wanting to be different with their children. However having no routine meant that the children were insecure, not sure what was happening and this displayed itself in their behaviour. I often found myself explaining that if you had no routine you couldn't be spontaneous, throwing in something different to do just added more chaos to the mix. Conversely if you have a good routine going, then saying to yourself one evening 'Let's jump in the car and go to the beach' is spontaneous and a fun and different thing to do because it is not the norm. It makes it more fun and more special and a brighter memory.

So what does this have to do with sleep?

Our brains and bodies need a structure to work round. For an adult the most obvious and defining point of this structure would be being asleep and being awake. then work and mealtimes, after that it is your free time and how you chose to spend it.

However - if your sleep times keep changing or are erratic then this begins to throw the whole routine out. If you are constantly changing your sleep times your body does not know what is happening, it is confused and doesn't work as well. Just like the children being cranky and displaying difficult behaviours when there is no daily routine.
As discussed in previous posts our bodies need triggers and reminders that it is time to sleep or time to be active, which is why good bedtimes routines can help adults as well as children. It is why shift workers have such problems sleeping as they are constantly changing their body rhythms.

I used to fight long and hard against the concept of any daily routine, especially in regards to sleep. I would tell myself that it was impractical to have a regular bedtime and wake up time, if I was actually sleeping - why wake and stop that. When on a week's holiday I could quite easily stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning reading and then wake up mid-morning, have a nap in the afternoon (because I had gone to sleep late) and go to sleep even later the next night. Within a couple of days my sleep patterns would be out the window and I would be cat napping when ever and where ever, but not getting a good night's sleep. The end result was that I would go back to work feeling exhausted, despite having had all that extra time to sleep!

Last year I took a good hard look at what was going on and decided to redefine my sleep routines. Though it was hard to admit, I am no longer a teenager and all night parties two or three times a week just don't happen any more!
So I looked at my work schedule, took into account my night owl tendencies and came up with a plan that I would get up at 8.30am at the latest. Every day. It seemed really tough for me at first but it has worked. A couple of days a week I need to get up earlier for work but I tell myself this is the exception, not the norm. On the weekends and the days I work from home the alarm is set for 8.30. It is easier to set up a regular getting up time, than a going to sleep time.

I won't lie and say it was easy. There were times I longed to stay in bed and sleep some more. It wasn't quick either, but I have stuck with it and it is paying off. My sleep has really improved!

I now get tired in the late evenings and actually want to go to bed (depending on how busy the day has been it varies between 11 and midnight). Though I do wake in the night, it is briefly. I now tend to wake before the alarm - something that I thought I would never say, and have some time in that nice drowsy state that used to happen after a lie-in, so I'm not missing out on that. The urge to nap has decreased and if I nap now, it is usually after an early start. I still have the occasional bad night, but it is now once every couple of weeks rather than several times a week.

The strange thing is that I now don't feel as if I am depriving myself of anything. I really thought that would be a problem (and in the early days it was hard) but as I am sleeping in more of a block, I wake up more refreshed and am able to achieve more and do more with my day.

The added bonus is that if I do pull a late night because of a party etc, it feels more special, like something spontaneous and different! There is a difference between going to bed at 3am because I was mooching round the house as usual and going to bed at 3am because I was out celebrating.

So if your sleep patterns are erratic, then I encourage you to take the plunge and set up a routine and see what happens. Remember, if you want advice or support with this, then please contact me, I'd love to help you get a great night's sleep.

Also if you want some new ideas and methods to help you go to sleep then check out next week's free http://www.worldsleepsummit.com/index.html, which I have set up especially to support people with sleep problems.

Sweet dreams!

Hummingbirds

I have had a couple of conversations with people recently about the whole Night Owl/Morning Lark concept and is it really a genetic thing and is it possible to change and have come across a new term - Hummingbirds. I adore these little birds and loved seeing large flocks of them in Costa Rica. Unfortunately I am not one!

There are people for whom their circadian rhythms are hard wired and they find it difficult to change. Latest studies estimate that 1 in 10 of us is a Lark and 2 in 10 are Owls. The rest hover in-between and can adapt to either situation, the Hummingbirds.

I see this when working in daycare with the young children. Most of the children are Hummingbirds and are lively throughout the day, perhaps slightly quieter first thing in the morning and becoming a little more grisly towards the evening. However you do see outstanding examples of Owls and Larks too.

One little 18 month old is a happy little boy, he arrives in the morning and gets on with his day. He is perfectly sociable and enjoys taking part in the activities and being around the other children. He has his midday nap and when he gets up he is a completely different child, he is far more energetic, laughs, shows his cheeky side, and is generally far more outgoing. It is amazing to watch. With his being so young, his sleep patterns take up most of the day and are standard for a child his age, but watching his temperament and behaviour you can see that he will be someone who comes alive later in the day.

Likewise, there is a little baby of 7 months, who rarely sleeps in the morning. He enjoys rolling around on the floor and playing with the toys. Try and get him to have a morning nap is difficult, put him in his cot and he will cry. You may be lucky to get 15 minutes from him. However he will sleep in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see how this develops but I suspect he will become an Lark.

The Hummingbirds have the advantages of being flexible and adaptable, they can get up early to start a shift, catch a flight etc as well as party till the early hours. The Hummingbird can also adapt more easily to life changes like a staying up late when at college, getting up earlier when starting in the workforce, having early rising children, switching to later sleep patterns when they retire.

I am a hard wired Night Owl and it has been difficult to bring my sleep times forward to Midnight to 8.30am, (my preferred times were 2am to 10am) and at the moment I can not see it getting any earlier. I struggle when on shift patterns and these are only variations of a couple of hours, not a day/night shift pattern such as hospital staff.  The way I cope now is to tell myself that the two days a week that I need to get up before 8.30 are the exception and not the norm. Psychologically that works for me.

Hummingbirds profit well from the modern lifestyle and work well throughout the day. Some Owls and Larks are in jobs that suit their hours but how do you make this work if you are in the 9-5. In reality the best thing to do is to work out your personal timings and when you do things well and incorporate those into your day. These can apply to Hummingbirds too as you may show a slight preference to when you are feeling more alert and when you are feeling more tired.

- You are alert in the mornings? Then use this time to be your most creative, working on projects, compiling reports etc. Then save your more mundane and routine tasks for later in the day when you are feeling tired or sluggish - checking emails, filling in stats forms etc.

- You take a while to get going in the mornings? Instead of staring into space waiting for inspiration use the time for the routine tasks that do not take much effort and save your meaningful and creative work for the afternoons when you are feeling more dynamic.

More and more jobs offer flexible hours and you can also also use these to your advantage.

So which do you think you are - Owl, Lark or Hummingbird?

Does the way you sleep show your personality?

Though there have been recent studies into sleep positions and personality traits  (one commissioned by a hotel chain), I believe things are a little more complex than the results claim. For me - I can go through several sleep positions in one night, especially when I was an insomniac, does this make me a mix of all the personality types? Who knows!

So - for a little bit of fun here are the results!

Fetal position
Sleeping curled up on your side.
Said to show a need to destress by reverting back to a stress free time when in the uterus. The more tightly curled up you are, the more stressed you are. Can be difficult to get to know, but very sociable with family and friends.

Yearner
Again lying on your side but more open and you have your arms stretched out in front of you, as if 'yearning' for something.
Said to show a confident nature, with a hint of suspicion. May take a long time to come to a decision but then will not change their minds.

Log
Lying on your side with your ams and legs in a straight line.
An open and sociable person but can be too trusting with others.

Starfish
Lying on your back, arms and legs spread.
Listeners bit so they can give advice, often believe themselves to be king or queen in their environment.

Solider
Lying on your back, straight legs and arms alongside your body.
Reserved and introverted, don't like giving things away. They have high standards of themselves and are perfectionists and can be hard on themselves.

Freefaller
Lying on your front, head to one side, normally with legs spread and arms wrapped round a pillow.
A good listener who is open to new ideas. Tends to be someone who stays in the background. Can feel like life is happening around them and they are hanging on for the ride.

Does your sleep position match your personality? Please let me know!
Remember this is just for fun.

Sweet dreams

New year, more sleep?

I never usually make New Year resolutions, mainly because my birthday is at the beginning of January and it's no fun starting a diet on the 1st of Jan when you know that you're going out celebrating in a few days time!
Yep, I was the person who gave up smoking on the 10th January 2000, I still get weird looks from people when asked about that.

However having this slightly more realistic time frame works and makes me far less likely to give up on my new plans after a few days.

The other thing that I have found works well is to have positive resolutions rather than negative one or at least to phrase them in a positive way. Wordplay helps a lot in making it more likely to be a successful resolution.

Telling yourself that you are going on a diet immediately fills your head with images of boring food, no treats, a strict regime etc. Telling yourself that you are going to make healthy food choices gives you a wide range of foods to choose from and more options to think about.

Likewise telling yourself that you are going to get fit, or have a slim body feels so much better than telling yourself you are going to lose weight or go jogging every day.

You can also try positive resolutions such as making 2013 the year you complete a 10k run, or go skydiving, write a book or a blog. It needn't be a big (or even expensive choice) you can resolve to say 'Yes' more often and see where that takes you, or start writing a gratitude diary every evening and see how that puts you in a more positive frame of mind. You could try smiling at passers-by in the street - it makes both you and them feel good, or giving out more compliments.

One of the things that I'm adding to my list is to go to bed a little earlier than I do at the moment! On 'school nights' I tend to get around 7 hours sleep but this is not enough for me, so I need to go to bed a little earlier. I know it will help me both physically and mentally (more energy, stamina, reduced appetite etc), but tend to find myself just checking out 'one more thing' on the internet before going to bed. The worst thing is that I know that I'm doing it and still do nothing about it!
In order to make it easier I'm going to set my alarm to remind me to go to bed! It's something I read about and thought 'Hey that's a great idea' but have never done. So 2013 is going to be the year I do it. I'm also going to make it realistic and aim for 15 minutes extra sleep to start with, I know that if I set for an extra hour I'll still think I have plenty of time for sleep and so ignore it and stay up! I feel I will be more successful if I do gradual increments, well I've got a whole year to get there!

Why not make 2013 the year to improve your sleep? It will reduce your stress levels, improve your health, help you lose weight and give you more energy - all pretty good results from one resolution!

Sweet dreams.

So why do we sleep?

"As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy." William Dement - Stanford University Sleep Research Centre.

There is very little research into sleep (and even less into sleep disorders), so much so that no-one is exactly sure why we sleep. It seems such a strange thing in evolutionary terms to sleep - to deliberately leave ourselves vulnerable and defenseless to predators while we snooze and snore.

It was only in the last century that scientists realised that the brain was active during sleep, up till then it had been thought that sleep was a period of inactivity and not worth studying. Now modern tracking techniques have shown how active the brain is at night, this has lead to the discovery of the sleep cycles and the difference between REM and deep, slow wave sleep. These discoveries have allowed for new theories to be put forward as to why we sleep. However they are sill only theories!

Theory 1 - Rest and recuperation
That sleep allows the body a chance to rest and recuperate from being in a state of heightened awareness throughout the day. Sleep allows the body time to heal and repair itself. If we become sleep deprived we are more susceptible to illnesses and take longer to recover.

Theory 2 - Learning
Sleep and the temporary absence of consciousness allows the brain time to process all the information it has learnt and reorganise itself. Again sleep deprivation tests have shown that a lack of REM sleep affects your ability to perform tasks and a lack of deep sleep affects the recall of knowledge.

Theory 3 - Dreaming
Dreams seem to be a result of REM sleep, so maybe the reason we sleep is to dream?

Science is still learning a lot about the world of sleep and new research will hopefully answer our questions about sleep and dreams. In the meantime, we can help our bodies and minds by making sure we allow enough time to sleep.

Sweet dreams

The second sleep

Do you often wake in the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep straight away?
Maybe it's not because you're a freak or different but because we are genetically programmed to do this!

There has been a lot of interest recently (with articles by the BBC, the Times and The Guardian amongst others) about 'the second sleep' and it seems that the human brain is actually programmed to sleep in two four hour chunks.

Research in the 1990's took volunteers and put them in 14 hours of darkness each day. After a few weeks the volunteers had started to sleep in two 4 hour blocks with a one to two hour period of being awake in the middle. despite being of great interest to sleep scientists, the belief that an eight hour block of sleep being the norm has persisted.

Then 2005, historian Roger Ekirch published a book called At Day's Close: Night in Times Past, where he draws on his research where he found over 500 references to segmented sleep in books, in diaries, court records, medical books and literature. what he found interesting was the way in which the references to this sleep pattern were made - as if it was totally normal and that everyone did it.

It seems that the labourers would come home from the work, have something to eat then go to bed - usually because they were really tired! Then approx 4 hours later they would wake up and do things! It was a time for conversation, for prayer, visiting the neighbours, having sex etc. Then they would go to bed and have a second sleep, and wake at dawn ready for another days work.
A doctor's manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day's labour but "after the first sleep", when "they have more enjoyment" and "do it better".

Ekirch found that references to the segmented sleep dwindle from the 17th Century onwards and links this to social change, the shift to living in cities and eventually the increase in street and domestic lighting, which helped develop a leaning towards socialising in the evening and pushed sleep into one later block of up to 8 hours.

Though the majority of people have adapted to sleeping in one 8 hour block, sleep researchers now think that this could be the root cause of sleep maintenance insomnia, where sufferers wake during the night. It is helpful to realise that most people do wake in the night but that most do not remember it, whereas an insomnia suffer, who is already stressed about lack of sleep, may become more anxious at waking and take longer to fall back asleep. For these people it the realisation that it is not some abnormality but in fact genetic programming may help them and their anxieties around sleep.

In fact, if we look there is still evidence of this segmented sleep around us. Babies who need to wake in the night for feeding, toddlers who still need an afternoon nap, and in hotter climates - an afternoon siesta during the heat of the day, followed by working later in the cool of the evening. The modern world with 24 hour electricity and an unbroken day work ethic actually is encroaching on our sleep patterns even more.

So maybe for those of us who do wake in the night, we need to be celebrating this fact - that we are more in tune with nature and our bodies, that we can use this period of wakefulness for contemplation, meditation and destress (just like our forefathers used the time for prayer and relaxation). Since I found out about segmented sleep a few months ago, I am more relaxed about waking in the night and call it my 'throwback'. Ironically, since being more relaxed about night time waking, I sleep better!

Please comment below if you are a segmented sleeper or have issues around night time waking, I'd love to know your thoughts.

Sweet dreams!

The stick process

This post follows on from last week's post about your thought patterns, so please read that first, then this one will make more sense!
 I use this process with coaching clients who are stuck in one thought pattern and want to change to another. This works well with sleep problems, especially insomnia and other non specific disorders, though you can use it with any situation you feel stuck in - weight loss, lack of money etc. It is a visualisation process, so allow yourself to picture the situation and notice how your body feels during the two different stages.

Picture that you are holding a stick in your hand - it needs to be a really long stick, (you'll see why in a minute), as big as a javelin. It's impossible to hold it at both ends.
Now imagine at one end of the stick is the negative thoughts that you have around sleep -
I always sleep badly
Why can't I sleep like everyone else
I'm always tired etc

Now imagine the other end of the stick, and it has all the positive thoughts that about sleep -
I sleep like a baby
I always wake feeling rested and refreshed
Sleep restores my body etc

Now because this stick is so big, you can only hold one end of it. If you are holding the end that has all the negative thoughts, then you cannot hold the end with the positive thoughts.

Now picture yourself holding the stick at the negative end. Start repeating all the negative thoughts that you have about sleep and notice how you feel. Is your body tensing up? How is your breath? How do you feel about sleep? Just as we discussed last week, it is our thoughts that hold us back from what we want and determine what we achieve, so if you are holding the negative end of the stick you are like the repelling end of the magnet and  is pushing away the possibility of great sleep.

It is impossible to have both negative and positive thoughts about sleep (or whatever subject you are choosing) at the same time, so you need to drop the stick, and change your thought patterns!

So you can now chose to hold the positive end, the end with the positive thoughts about sleep. So picture yourself holding the stick at the positive end and start to go through those positive thoughts and  notice how different it feels. How much calmer you become and how the possibility for great sleep becomes more real. This is like the positive end of a magnet that attracts more good thoughts and then as these increase, more good feelings about sleep.

So next time you realise that you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, (perhaps you are in bed and unable to fall asleep), take a deep breath and ask which end of the stick are you holding and which end do you want to be holding and make a conscious decision to take hold of the positive. Really focus on those good feelings and allow your body to relax as this will allow you to sleep.

I hope this visualisation helps you in achieving a better night's sleep, please let me know your thoughts and if it works.

Sweet dreams

 (I just went to check where I found this process and it wasn't in the book I thought it was. So, I would love to give credit for it, so if anyone recognises it, then please let me know!)

What are you telling yourself?

So, you've had a bad night's sleep, the alarm was unwelcome and you're about to face the day.
What are the thoughts going through your mind right now?

When I work with my clients, we look at their 'mental chatter'. Those thoughts that race through your head at any given moment.
'Need to buy some tomatoes, oh, and some broccoli, mustn't forget to book the dentists appointment, don't glare at me - how am I supposed to know you were going to step out of the door without looking, wonder where she got that coat from...'
You know the stuff.

Though it may seem pretty mindless stuff, it can actually be very powerful stuff, as this mental chatter and internal thoughts go a long way to programming your brain and how you feel.
If you are dwelling on an unpleasant situation and going over and over it again, you rapidly bring your emotions and feelings down into a negative spiral.

For example - spend a few moments thinking about the last time someone was rude to you. What did they say? What was their body language like? How did you react? How did you feel at the time? What would you do differently?
Now take a big breath and note how you feel right now. Are you angry, do you feel tension in your body, how positive or negative do you feel? Isn't it amazing that the person is not here with you, the situation is in the past, but you still feel all those emotions.

Now, think about the last time you laughed. Was it something someone did or said? A joke you heard, or a picture you saw? Was it a comedy show on tv? Did you laugh out loud, was it a real belly laugh?
Take a big breath and note how you feel this time. Do you feel happy? How positive or negaive do you feel? How different do you feel to a moment ago when you were thinking about the other situation?

I hope you can understand what I'm getting at.

So how does this relate to sleep?
Well, picture yourself having had only 5 hours sleep. It's the following morning, how do you feel? What emotions are going through you? The alarm goes off and what are you telling yourself? What is your 'chatter' saying?
Is it saying - Only 5 hours, how am I going to cope? I felt I was awake all night. How am I going to be at work? I feel so tired, I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day?

Or is it saying - 5 hours sleep, well that's 5 hours more than no sleep. At least I got some sleep. As I have slept, I know that I'll get through the day because I've done it before. Several times in fact.

Can you see the difference between the two sets of thought patterns. If you can start to shift from the first to the second then you are on your way to changing your mindset from one of an insomniac to one of a sleeper. And that's a step towards more sleep! You see a good sleeper doesn't worry about how much sleep they get. If they have a poor night's sleep (which they do) they don't worry about it, or start obsessing about it, they know they will sleep ok the next night. When they are talking to their friends they don't go on about a lack of sleep, in fact they probably don't mention sleep at all, unless asked.

From my experience it was difficult to start the shift of changing my internal chatter but I persisted and soon got the idea. I monitored my thoughts and would catch myself and then started to look for the positive things about how much sleep I got. Little by little it got easier to do. I began to feel more positive about my sleep and how much I was getting. I started to notice that I didn't feel so gloomy in the mornings, that I felt lighter. That in general my morning thoughts were more positive and I didn't get stuck in negative thought patterns, and if started to think negatively (about anything) that I would catch myself and start thinking about more enjoyable things. Now when I wake in the morning I scan my body to see how I'm feeling and take that as my starting point rather than trying to remember if I woke in the night or not.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not leaping out of bed saying 'Yee hah, I got 5 hours sleep last night, I'm on fire!!' but the changes that I have made are notable. If my mental chatter does start drifting into the 'Only 4 hours sleep mode' I am able to quickly start reassuring myself that I will be able to cope. I also remind myself that I have been sleeping well, that this is a rare night etc.

What has been amazing is that by focusing on what sleep I am getting, rather than on what sleep I'm not, is that I am getting more sleep. It is simple 'What you focus on expands' and if you focus on a lack of sleep, that's what you see and if you focus on sleep, that's what you see.

Please try this for yourselves and note the differences in your feelings about sleep and how this impacts on how you cope with the day. Remember that this is the first step in changing your mindset, so congratulate yourself each time for doing it.
I would love to know how you are getting on either so please comment below or send me a message on facebook.

Till next time
Sweet dreams

What's your sleep story?

One of the fascinating things that I have discovered when talking to people about their sleep, is how different everyone's sleep history is.

During my insomnia days I wanted to put my head on my pillow, fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours - 'Like everyone else did!' However, the more I talk to people about sleep, the more I realize that not many people do sleep for 8 hours straight.

It is much more likely that people have individual quirks when it comes to sleep - needing the temperature just right, sleep talking, snoring, delays in going to sleep, waking in the night for no reason, being woken by strange noises, habits changing over time, needing sleep rituals... The list seems almost endless. What I have found reassuring about this is that even if I have felt alone at 3am and felt like I was the only person awake at that time, that actually I'm not, and that other people have their sleep stories too. I have found that really reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one. It also helped reduce my stress over sleep and, strangely, made falling asleep a little easier.

I have asked some of my friends to share their sleep stories - what affects them, how they overcame sleep disturbances, funny stories of sleep talking/walking etc. I will be adding more stories over the next few weeks, so if you have an interesting, unusual or funny story that you would like to share, then please contact me, I'd love to talk to you about it!

Here is the link to the first few stories.
http://www.charlottewelply.com/sleep-stories.html

Hope you enjoy listening to them and remember to check back regularly for more stories!

Sweet dreams

Unusal ideas to help you sleep

If, like me you are tired of tips and recommendations that include the usual 'Avoid caffeine after lunch' and 'Don't exercise late in the evening' then here are a few ideas that are a little bit more unusual and have worked for me!

1 Bedsocks - I came across this solution by chance and am so glad I found it. About 10 years ago I saw some bedsocks on sale (which I had never seen before) and thought they looked cute, so brought some. To my surprise they helped me fall asleep more quickly and I slept better. Apparently this is because as you sleep your circulatory system slows down and keeps your blood supply in the core of your body, but you need to drop your body temperature to sleep, so having warm feet (and hands) encourages the blood supply to the extremities and cools your core temperature. I am now a big fan and recommend them to any poor sleeper. It is now possible to buy them quite easily, however I would suggest loose fitting cotton ones as the synthetic ones make my feet hot and sweaty and so do not work as well.


2 Cherries - I am lucky enough to live an area where Spring means it's cherry time and the fruit stalls at the market are overflowing with yummy cherries but did you know that tart cherries contain significant amounts of melatonin (the hormone that helps you sleep). A study at the School of Life Sciences at Northumbria University, has shown that a glass of unsweetened cherry juice morning and night helped increase sleep by 25% and improved sleep quality. Why not see if this works for you?

3 Repeat the word 'the' - If you can't sleep because you have repetative thoughts going round in your head and can not seem to shut them off, try repeating the word 'the' to yourself. It is a neutral word and has no associations so helps turn the repetitive thoughts off. I've tried to think of other words to use, but this is the best one!

4 Sitting on a stool - So, you're all tucked up in bed and can't fall asleep. How about getting up and sitting on a stool for 15 minutes? The theory is that your body would rather be anywhere than sitting on a stool in the middle of the night and so is more willing to go back to sleep when you go back to bed. Use a stool - so you don't get comfortable, do not turn on the lights,read, wrap yourself in a blanket, or do anything to make it a more pleasurable experience as your body would prefer to do that. It has to be a slightly unpleasant experience to work. I tried it and it does work, but, strangely enough, I don't like doing it!

5 Scripting - If you can not sleep because you have a big occasion the next day and are worried about it, then try writing out the 'script' of how you would like it to go. Pretend that you are a Hollywood filmwriter and write out your perfect day/scenario. Really get into the feeling of it, write down who is going to be there with you, what is going to be said, what the outcome will be. Only write positive things ie - if you have a meeting to discuss a pay rise, then imagine it going well, your boss is willing to listen, you present your case well and s/he agrees and suggests a figure that you are happy with. Play with it and try different positive outcomes that could happen. Ideally do this before you go to bed, but it can be done if you wake in the night. Your brain and body will feel more relaxed and in control and so help enable sleep.

I hope some of these suggestions are new to you and do comment below if you try them out!

Sweet dreams.

3 quick steps to change your brain to a sleep mindset

Which of these statement rings true for you?

'It doesn't matter what I do, I always sleep badly.'

'Sleep's not a problem for me, I always sleep well.'

If you are reading this, then there is a good chance that it is the first statement! For a lot of people their insomnia will have started for a reason but it is the power of the mind that turns it from a temporary problem into a permanent one. Fortunately it is possible to use that power to change to the mindset of a good sleeper.

Good sleepers do not think about sleep, they accept it as part of their lives, they do not focus on it, obsess about it or talk about how much sleep they get. However these are subjects that an insomniac will focus on for hours on end and I know this, as it is what I used to do!
Here are 3 ideas to get you started in the process of changing to the mindset of a good sleeper.

1 - Stop clock watching.
Make the night yours and as long as it needs to be. If you constantly focus on the time and how little you have slept and how time is ticking away for you to get back to sleep, you are focusing on your lack of sleep and adding to your stress levels, which prevents your brain from relaxing and allowing sleep. If you wake and have no idea what the time is, you instantly allow more possibilities - perhaps you have only slept for an hour and have plenty of time to get more sleep, perhaps you have been asleep for hours already and you can doze a little before the alarm goes off. These thoughts are more relaxing and calming to the mind which in turn allows you to fall asleep more easily.
So switch your phone off, and turn your alarm clock to face the wall and allow the night to be as long as you want.

2 -  Be grateful for the sleep you do get.
It is all too easy to focus on how little you slept during the night, but hey - you slept, which is better than no sleep at all! Being grateful for the sleep you did get is a powerful step as it works in two ways. Firstly,what you focus on expands and by being appreciating the sleep you did get allows you to focus on sleep rather than the lack of it. Secondly, focusing on the sleep you did get changes your energy in a positive way. Say the following two phrases to yourself and see which one feels better to you - 'I only slept 4 hours last night, I should have got more.' or 'Hey, I got 4 hours sleep last night, I can cope with that!' you can feel the difference between the positive and the negative and it's the positive that is going to start changing your mindset.

3 - Think about the story you are telling yourself and others.
It may initially feel good to tell everyone that you are an insomniac and a poor sleeper as you do get some sympathy and attention. However the more you repeat this story the more ingrained it becomes in your mind and your personality. Though others may ask you each day how you slept and are concerned for you, it is putting you in the insomniac box and is that where you want to be? So the next time you are at work or with your friends and you are about to mention how badly you slept, ask yourself  'Is this what I want my story to be?' If it is not, change it to something more positive, or decide not to mention it at all.

These steps may seem difficult to do at first and I encourage you to persist with them, as you will be taking the first steps in reprogramming your brain for sleep!

Sweet dreams