Clock Watching

A bit of a preamble till I get to the point of this post, but I will get there, I promise!

Last week there was a programme on sleep disorders on the BBC and it took five people with sleep difficulties and diagnosed them, then set about making a plan for them. I found it both fascinating and reassuring. Reassuring as lot of the techniques they use, I use with my clients and in my programmes. Fascinating as some of the volunteers thought they had one problem and actually it was something else!

For example one guy had a 'snoring' problem that was keeping his wife awake and he actually had sleep apnea, which is a very serious condition. The other guy with the snoring problem actually slept very well on his own, it was because his partner kept waking him (due to his snoring) that he was getting poor quality sleep!

There was one lady, called Gwen, who has chronic insomnia and had a very negative mindset about sleeping, which is not surprising when you've not been sleeping for over 30 years.
What I found interesting - and I'm now getting into the main part of this post - was that according to the sleep experts, Gwen had the perfect bedroom for sleep, except for one thing - she had an alarm clock where the time display glowed in the dark.

It may seem unusual to say that an alarm clock is out of place in a bedroom, but it's not the alarm it is the fact you can read the time during the night. Gwen had the perfect bedroom - calm colours, heavy curtains, no clutter, a good supportive bed etc. She also claimed not to clock watch but at the same time was able to tell you how much sleep she thought she got each night.
Now - here's another interesting bit, when she spent a night at the sleep clinic and was wired up to monitors she claimed not have slept at all (and, poor thing, looked like she hadn't slept) but what the monitors showed was that she had slept in short little bursts for a total of 4 hours. Over half her time in bed.

Yes, this was not a refreshing and restorative way to sleep, but she was actually sleeping. The experts then came up with a plan of sleep condensing to help her get a more solid block of sleep, which did eventually work for her.

What I found interesting was this belief that she had not slept at all. How often do we tell ourselves how little we have slept? I used to do this. Then I took the alarm clock out of my room. This stopped my clock watching. I was no longer able to estimate how little or even how much I'd slept. If I woke in the night I had no way of knowing if it was midnight or 3am. Initially I found this strange but in only a few nights I actually found this really liberating and actually began to sleep a little better.
If I woke up instead of going into a panic mode of thinking I only had 4 more hours to get some sleep, 3 and half hours, 3 hours and so on.... I was able to tell myself I had plenty of time to get some sleep. I was no longer able to get into a panic about how little sleep I was getting which would start me off in a cycle of anxiety and further reduce any chance of getting back to sleep.

Now when I wake in the night, I feel relaxed. I know I have already had some sleep (a good thing!) and that I have plenty of time to get some more (another good thing). As I am relaxed and not anxious I am able to get back to sleep more easily.

So my suggestion is that you take all clocks out of your bedroom. If you need the alarm function, then cover up any luminous clock displays or turn them to the wall. If you use a phone as your alarm then experiment with switching the phone off. For most modern mobile phones the alarm will still function even if you turn the phone off.

Why not try this out for a week and see what it does for your sleep and please comment below to let me know!

Sweet dreams.

How much is your sleep debt?

According to statisticians we are accumulating around 500 hours of sleep debt a year! That's a lot of debt to pay back. In our modern, fast-paced world a lack of sleep is fast becoming a badge of honour. Do you ever brag about how little sleep you need? When working with my clients I often deal with cases of insomnia and other forms of physical sleep deprivation but far more interesting are those who can sleep but chose not to. Experts recommend 8 hours sleep a night but most people in the modern world are only getting between 6 and 7 hours a night. even a debt of an hour a night adds up very quickly.

Research shows time and time again how lack of sleep affects us both mentally and physically. In this 24/7 era of technology that is supposed to help us live life to the full, experiencing it in more ways than previously thought possible and being in constant communication with the entire world is actually causing more stress and strain on our bodies than in previous generations.

Years ago I had a boyfriend who started work later than me and so got about 45 minutes more sleep than me each night. At the weekend he was up and ready to go out, I was the one who wanted to catch up on my sleep as I felt exhausted. The difference in our energy levels was that noticeable.

Before the invention of artificial light only the very rich could afford a large number of candles and therefore to stay up late. For the rest of us nighttime meant going to bed early and rising with the sun in the morning. We got on average around 9 hours sleep a night. This also kept the body in touch with the rhythms of nature and the seasons. Now with electricity and light available all the time, as well as the advent 24 hour television and the internet we can all stay up late in the night.

So how does sleep debt affect us?

Short term affects include irritability, memory loss, blurred vision, poor judgment, susceptibility to infection, drop in glucose metabolism, and a rise in cortisol (the stress hormone) levels. It also affects how we store information and access it so if you are staying up all night studying or working the reduction in memory loss and judgment abilities is going to negate all the effort that you have put in. Studies on school children have shown that those who got an hours more sleep performed better in tests. Far better to have an early night instead!

Long term affects include a rise in obesity due to poor insulin control. This of course leads to other health problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes etc.

Fortunately sleep debt can be paid back. Try going to bed 30 minutes to an hour earlier every night and see what difference that makes on your energy levels and mental alertness. Take the time to make sleep a priority in your life and you will see the benefits in your health and productivity. If you do have a late night - I don't want to be a party pooper, then make sure that you schedule time for an early night to catch up. A well timed nap will also help your energy levels and mental alertness.

 Life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans and there will times when getting enough sleep is difficult, parents with young children or caring for loved ones who are ill come to mind. If you are in these situations then remember that these are short term and come up with some strategies to help you cope - taking naps, getting children into good sleep routines, taking turns with a partner for weekend lie-ins etc, all help with keeping your sleep debt to a minimum.

Sweet dreams!

The stick process

This post follows on from last week's post about your thought patterns, so please read that first, then this one will make more sense!
 I use this process with coaching clients who are stuck in one thought pattern and want to change to another. This works well with sleep problems, especially insomnia and other non specific disorders, though you can use it with any situation you feel stuck in - weight loss, lack of money etc. It is a visualisation process, so allow yourself to picture the situation and notice how your body feels during the two different stages.

Picture that you are holding a stick in your hand - it needs to be a really long stick, (you'll see why in a minute), as big as a javelin. It's impossible to hold it at both ends.
Now imagine at one end of the stick is the negative thoughts that you have around sleep -
I always sleep badly
Why can't I sleep like everyone else
I'm always tired etc

Now imagine the other end of the stick, and it has all the positive thoughts that about sleep -
I sleep like a baby
I always wake feeling rested and refreshed
Sleep restores my body etc

Now because this stick is so big, you can only hold one end of it. If you are holding the end that has all the negative thoughts, then you cannot hold the end with the positive thoughts.

Now picture yourself holding the stick at the negative end. Start repeating all the negative thoughts that you have about sleep and notice how you feel. Is your body tensing up? How is your breath? How do you feel about sleep? Just as we discussed last week, it is our thoughts that hold us back from what we want and determine what we achieve, so if you are holding the negative end of the stick you are like the repelling end of the magnet and  is pushing away the possibility of great sleep.

It is impossible to have both negative and positive thoughts about sleep (or whatever subject you are choosing) at the same time, so you need to drop the stick, and change your thought patterns!

So you can now chose to hold the positive end, the end with the positive thoughts about sleep. So picture yourself holding the stick at the positive end and start to go through those positive thoughts and  notice how different it feels. How much calmer you become and how the possibility for great sleep becomes more real. This is like the positive end of a magnet that attracts more good thoughts and then as these increase, more good feelings about sleep.

So next time you realise that you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, (perhaps you are in bed and unable to fall asleep), take a deep breath and ask which end of the stick are you holding and which end do you want to be holding and make a conscious decision to take hold of the positive. Really focus on those good feelings and allow your body to relax as this will allow you to sleep.

I hope this visualisation helps you in achieving a better night's sleep, please let me know your thoughts and if it works.

Sweet dreams

 (I just went to check where I found this process and it wasn't in the book I thought it was. So, I would love to give credit for it, so if anyone recognises it, then please let me know!)

Unusal ideas to help you sleep

If, like me you are tired of tips and recommendations that include the usual 'Avoid caffeine after lunch' and 'Don't exercise late in the evening' then here are a few ideas that are a little bit more unusual and have worked for me!

1 Bedsocks - I came across this solution by chance and am so glad I found it. About 10 years ago I saw some bedsocks on sale (which I had never seen before) and thought they looked cute, so brought some. To my surprise they helped me fall asleep more quickly and I slept better. Apparently this is because as you sleep your circulatory system slows down and keeps your blood supply in the core of your body, but you need to drop your body temperature to sleep, so having warm feet (and hands) encourages the blood supply to the extremities and cools your core temperature. I am now a big fan and recommend them to any poor sleeper. It is now possible to buy them quite easily, however I would suggest loose fitting cotton ones as the synthetic ones make my feet hot and sweaty and so do not work as well.


2 Cherries - I am lucky enough to live an area where Spring means it's cherry time and the fruit stalls at the market are overflowing with yummy cherries but did you know that tart cherries contain significant amounts of melatonin (the hormone that helps you sleep). A study at the School of Life Sciences at Northumbria University, has shown that a glass of unsweetened cherry juice morning and night helped increase sleep by 25% and improved sleep quality. Why not see if this works for you?

3 Repeat the word 'the' - If you can't sleep because you have repetative thoughts going round in your head and can not seem to shut them off, try repeating the word 'the' to yourself. It is a neutral word and has no associations so helps turn the repetitive thoughts off. I've tried to think of other words to use, but this is the best one!

4 Sitting on a stool - So, you're all tucked up in bed and can't fall asleep. How about getting up and sitting on a stool for 15 minutes? The theory is that your body would rather be anywhere than sitting on a stool in the middle of the night and so is more willing to go back to sleep when you go back to bed. Use a stool - so you don't get comfortable, do not turn on the lights,read, wrap yourself in a blanket, or do anything to make it a more pleasurable experience as your body would prefer to do that. It has to be a slightly unpleasant experience to work. I tried it and it does work, but, strangely enough, I don't like doing it!

5 Scripting - If you can not sleep because you have a big occasion the next day and are worried about it, then try writing out the 'script' of how you would like it to go. Pretend that you are a Hollywood filmwriter and write out your perfect day/scenario. Really get into the feeling of it, write down who is going to be there with you, what is going to be said, what the outcome will be. Only write positive things ie - if you have a meeting to discuss a pay rise, then imagine it going well, your boss is willing to listen, you present your case well and s/he agrees and suggests a figure that you are happy with. Play with it and try different positive outcomes that could happen. Ideally do this before you go to bed, but it can be done if you wake in the night. Your brain and body will feel more relaxed and in control and so help enable sleep.

I hope some of these suggestions are new to you and do comment below if you try them out!

Sweet dreams.

3 quick steps to change your brain to a sleep mindset

Which of these statement rings true for you?

'It doesn't matter what I do, I always sleep badly.'

'Sleep's not a problem for me, I always sleep well.'

If you are reading this, then there is a good chance that it is the first statement! For a lot of people their insomnia will have started for a reason but it is the power of the mind that turns it from a temporary problem into a permanent one. Fortunately it is possible to use that power to change to the mindset of a good sleeper.

Good sleepers do not think about sleep, they accept it as part of their lives, they do not focus on it, obsess about it or talk about how much sleep they get. However these are subjects that an insomniac will focus on for hours on end and I know this, as it is what I used to do!
Here are 3 ideas to get you started in the process of changing to the mindset of a good sleeper.

1 - Stop clock watching.
Make the night yours and as long as it needs to be. If you constantly focus on the time and how little you have slept and how time is ticking away for you to get back to sleep, you are focusing on your lack of sleep and adding to your stress levels, which prevents your brain from relaxing and allowing sleep. If you wake and have no idea what the time is, you instantly allow more possibilities - perhaps you have only slept for an hour and have plenty of time to get more sleep, perhaps you have been asleep for hours already and you can doze a little before the alarm goes off. These thoughts are more relaxing and calming to the mind which in turn allows you to fall asleep more easily.
So switch your phone off, and turn your alarm clock to face the wall and allow the night to be as long as you want.

2 -  Be grateful for the sleep you do get.
It is all too easy to focus on how little you slept during the night, but hey - you slept, which is better than no sleep at all! Being grateful for the sleep you did get is a powerful step as it works in two ways. Firstly,what you focus on expands and by being appreciating the sleep you did get allows you to focus on sleep rather than the lack of it. Secondly, focusing on the sleep you did get changes your energy in a positive way. Say the following two phrases to yourself and see which one feels better to you - 'I only slept 4 hours last night, I should have got more.' or 'Hey, I got 4 hours sleep last night, I can cope with that!' you can feel the difference between the positive and the negative and it's the positive that is going to start changing your mindset.

3 - Think about the story you are telling yourself and others.
It may initially feel good to tell everyone that you are an insomniac and a poor sleeper as you do get some sympathy and attention. However the more you repeat this story the more ingrained it becomes in your mind and your personality. Though others may ask you each day how you slept and are concerned for you, it is putting you in the insomniac box and is that where you want to be? So the next time you are at work or with your friends and you are about to mention how badly you slept, ask yourself  'Is this what I want my story to be?' If it is not, change it to something more positive, or decide not to mention it at all.

These steps may seem difficult to do at first and I encourage you to persist with them, as you will be taking the first steps in reprogramming your brain for sleep!

Sweet dreams

Night, night, sleep tight.

Last week I posted this picture on my Facebook page, because I am one of those who will take ages to log off from the computer as I 'just want to check one more thing'!

My friend commented that she had heard it was good to have an hour of 'no screen time' before going to bed' and was asking why.
As I replied to her comment, I realized that I guilty of not always practicing what I preach. I think part of this has been hard wired into my brain. I used to tell myself and others things such as -
"I'm such a bad insomniac that it won't make any difference to me."
"Pah, unwind before I go to bed - why bother, I go to sleep alright, it's staying asleep that is the problem."

Comments such as these re-enforced my beliefs about sleep and insomnia - that it would always be a difficulty for me. I was really into my own little pity party around sleep. I now know what an effect these comments can have and realize what I say to myself is important.

Also that what I do is important.

As a child I used to have a bath and a bedtime story. Over the years this changed. Like most parents, mine stopped being so active in this routine when we were old enough to bathe unsupervised and read by ourselves. Evening baths were replaced by morning showers and then as a teenager, I was doing homework late at night. As an adult I had a TV in my room. Also over this time my sleep patterns were changing and insomniac habits were settling in.

So now as adults I think we need to restart our bedtime routines and tuck ourselves in at night!

Technology is too stimulating and does need to be switched off before bedtime. Other stimulants include caffeine and alcohol. You should also avoid exercise late in the evening - the only exception to this would be yoga or other relaxing/stretching exercise to release your body of tension.

Take TV's out of the bedroom. They may 'help' you fall asleep, but they are not a good crutch to have and I would often wake later in the night as I could hear the noise on the telly and then not be able to go back to sleep.
Take time to tick of the days chores from your list, and plan what to do tomorrow, so that your mind does not have to think and remember what needs to be done.
Have a bath to start relaxing and unwinding.
Switch off bright lights, and use lamps etc, to start telling your brain it is night time so it can start releasing the right hormones to prepare you for sleep.
Read a few pages of a book, to bring back associations with childhood bedtimes, or other relaxing hobby, to start unwinding.

When you go to bed - switch your mobile phone off! We are so into being in contact 24/7 but it is not good for us! For years I have used my phone as my alarm clock and thought I couldn't switch it off and would be woken in the night by texts coming through, but then a friend told me that in most phones, the alarm will work even when the phone is switched off. So, if you use your phone as an alarm try this now - set your alarm for 2 mins time and switch the phone off and see what happens!

I am pretty good at most of these things - except switching the computer off, so I'll be making an effort to that. What do you need to change to help you sleep better?

Sweet dreams!

Clearing the clutter for sleep

As an insomniac, one of the things you tend to do is read a lot of information about sleep and how to get it. If a magazine article promises you a great night's sleep, I would buy the magazine in the hope of the one magic tip that would transform my night's of wakefulness into ones of blissful slumber. Usually they would repeat the same old things - don't have caffeine in the evenings, exercise, warm bath, use the bedroom for sleeping only etc, etc. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, " I'd say to myself  "I've not drank caffeine for x years, do a job like mine and you exercise all day, I fall asleep in the bath but not in bed,  try not using your bedroom for anything else when you live in London...." 

You see my home in South London was the top floor of a semi-detached house that had been made into flats. Due to this it, had an unusual design feature of a huge bedroom that was bigger than the living room. This meant that I used it to store all sorts of things in there - the ironing board, the hoover, piles of books etc, basically it had a lot of stuff in there. A lot. Somewhere amongst it all was my bed, with a lot of stuff stored under it. At that time I was not ready for changing my sleeping habits and I did not take any of this 'strange' advice easily and put up barriers as to why I couldn't change things.

When I came to France, I ended up in this amazing flat with 4 metre high ceilings - which gives it a great feeling of space. It has a bedroom, bathroom, mezzanine and a huge open plan living/kitchen area. The bedroom is tiny and could just about fit a double bed in and not much else. I realised that for the space to work for me I'd need to use the bedroom as my massage room (it's the perfect size for that) and sleep in the mezzanine above the bathroom. With the help of friends I managed to get my bed up there (you have to go up a ladder) and fortunately - not much else will go up there. The mezzanine is quite low and I can't stand up properly in it but I can sit up in bed, so I just spend my time up there sleeping. 

I now understand why all these magazine articles tell you to use your bedroom for sleeping. It is now an area that I associate with sleep, it is calm up there and not much to distract me. As I need help if I want to take anything up there that needs to be held with more than one hand, there is very little there. Now when I go up there, it is because I am tired and am going to bed. This strong association has helped my brain make a link between bed and feeling sleepy and, in turn, has helped me improve my quality of sleep.

Now I can really see why clutter is a problm for sleep. I worked with one client who showed me a picture of her bedroom and she had so much clutter in there it was hard to get to her bed. How can that be a productive environment for sleep, when your stuff is actually crowding in on your bed? Another woman mentioned that she slept on the sofa as her room had got to such a state that there was too much clutter actually on the bed! 

In coaching circles there is a lot of emphasis on clearing clutter. It helps you let go of the past and gives you physical space to allow more into your life, whether that be a new job or relationship. If your finances are in a mess, and you have no idea of your income and expenditure then the first thing a financial advisor will tell you to do is to sort out your paperwork and set up a budget. It's the same for sleep - if you want to attract more sleep into your life, then a peaceful tidy bedroom is going to be preferable in helping you relax and unwind after a busy day rather than a messy dumping ground! I would really encourage you to make your bedroom a place for sleep.

Take out the computer and the television

Go through your wardrobes and donate old clothes to charity (let someone else benefit from it!) 

Go through books and get rid of the ones you will not read again

Be brave and find out what is under the bed

Are there other places you can keep the ironing board and vacuum cleaner? (Can you clear a space elsewhere?)

Hopefully there won't be too much to do, but if it does seem like a daunting challenge start with one drawer or cupboard and see how much better you feel after completing that. I promise you, you will.

So arm yourself with a binbag for things to throw out, a box for charity donations and a box for recycling, put on some energetic music that makes you want to dance and have fun! 

If you would like moral support, motivation or just a plain old kick up the backside to get you started then why not join our Clearing the Clutter for Sleep live event (for free) on Saturday 28th September? Click here for more details. 

Sweet dreams.

My insomniac lifestyle

In order to start a blog about sleep and to explain my chosen niche as a sleep coach, I need to explain a little about myself.

I was an insomniac for as far back as I can remember, it really did start as a child - which does make sense. My parents were keen on early bedtimes for us as children, I think, like most parents, it was a mix of wanting an evening to themselves as well as knowing that a good night's sleep is important for children's development. The problem for me was that it got to the point were my sleep needs decreased and I wasn't tired when I was sent to bed. My sister and I would sit and chat and mess around in our bedroom, often earning the rage of our parents, who would frequently tell us "Go to sleep, NOW!" This got me into the habit of not associating bedtime with sleep, and during your childhood your brain is easily programmable - great for learning, not so great for bad habits.
My Dad was a Dr and would sometimes be called out in the night, which led to another habit of waking in the night when the phone went and staying awake till he got back.

By the time I was a teenager I thought it was totally normal to go to bed and not fall asleep for an hour or so. It took a camping trip for me to notice how everyone fell asleep really quickly and I was the only one awake, tossing and turning and not sleeping, though I still didn't think there was anything wrong with this.
Over the years the aspects changed slightly. When I went to college I started drinking several cans of coke each day and not getting to sleep till 5 or 6 in the morning. I'd spend the day in a daze and then sleep better the next night. It was a 2 day cycle of sleep/no sleep. I still thought this was relatively normal.

For some reason (lost in the mist of times) I realised this was not normal and perhaps I was an insomniac. I went to see the Dr who asked me how tea and coffee I drank (not much as I never really liked coffee, and only drank a little tea). He then asked about coke and nailed my sleeping difficulties on that. I came off all types of caffeine at the grand old age of 19.
It helped - I remember my Mum telling me there was a difference in my behaviour and I was much more easier to get on with. However the problem was already too deeply ingrained and I was still not sleeping properly. The insomnia also began to change and it wasn't so much a problem of falling asleep but also one of staying asleep.

Over the following years I have had an interesting journey with insomnia. I learnt coping strategies, tried every over the counter medicine going, argued and cried in Dr's surgeries when refused sleeping tablets, stumbled across odd helpful things (bedsocks!), thrown magazine articles claiming to cure insomnia 'in 5 easy steps' against the wall, brought meditation tapes, lived from nap to nap, tried hypnosis, read lots of books, had meltdowns at work after long stretches of 'bad' nights, missed out on social events as I was 'too tired', laughed like a drain when other people complained of one night's bad sleep, etc. Generally putting a lot of effort into something that most people do easily without even thinking about it.

Recently a combination of different strategies has helped me enormously and I now sleep well with the occasional bad night. The world feels so different!! It has been through a mix of CBT, EFT and LOA processes, that helped me discover the causes of my bad habits and gave me powerful ways to retrain my mental thoughts and attitudes to sleep.

Over the coming weeks I will share the journey that I went through and hope you will learn from it too. Please enjoy, feel free to comment, and to any other insomniacs and ex-insomniacs out there, please feel free to share real tips and ideas that have helped you.

I am putting together a sleep well coaching programme, if you are interested in this or in working with me 1-1 to help change your sleeping habits, then please contact me.