New year, more sleep?

I never usually make New Year resolutions, mainly because my birthday is at the beginning of January and it's no fun starting a diet on the 1st of Jan when you know that you're going out celebrating in a few days time!
Yep, I was the person who gave up smoking on the 10th January 2000, I still get weird looks from people when asked about that.

However having this slightly more realistic time frame works and makes me far less likely to give up on my new plans after a few days.

The other thing that I have found works well is to have positive resolutions rather than negative one or at least to phrase them in a positive way. Wordplay helps a lot in making it more likely to be a successful resolution.

Telling yourself that you are going on a diet immediately fills your head with images of boring food, no treats, a strict regime etc. Telling yourself that you are going to make healthy food choices gives you a wide range of foods to choose from and more options to think about.

Likewise telling yourself that you are going to get fit, or have a slim body feels so much better than telling yourself you are going to lose weight or go jogging every day.

You can also try positive resolutions such as making 2013 the year you complete a 10k run, or go skydiving, write a book or a blog. It needn't be a big (or even expensive choice) you can resolve to say 'Yes' more often and see where that takes you, or start writing a gratitude diary every evening and see how that puts you in a more positive frame of mind. You could try smiling at passers-by in the street - it makes both you and them feel good, or giving out more compliments.

One of the things that I'm adding to my list is to go to bed a little earlier than I do at the moment! On 'school nights' I tend to get around 7 hours sleep but this is not enough for me, so I need to go to bed a little earlier. I know it will help me both physically and mentally (more energy, stamina, reduced appetite etc), but tend to find myself just checking out 'one more thing' on the internet before going to bed. The worst thing is that I know that I'm doing it and still do nothing about it!
In order to make it easier I'm going to set my alarm to remind me to go to bed! It's something I read about and thought 'Hey that's a great idea' but have never done. So 2013 is going to be the year I do it. I'm also going to make it realistic and aim for 15 minutes extra sleep to start with, I know that if I set for an extra hour I'll still think I have plenty of time for sleep and so ignore it and stay up! I feel I will be more successful if I do gradual increments, well I've got a whole year to get there!

Why not make 2013 the year to improve your sleep? It will reduce your stress levels, improve your health, help you lose weight and give you more energy - all pretty good results from one resolution!

Sweet dreams.

Dreams

There was this amazing cloud formation in the sky that looked exactly like a fish, the white clouds forming the scales, the sky a perfect, pale blue behind it. I kept trying to get in the best position for the perfect photo but there always seemed to be something blocking it, getting in the way. It was frustrating and then I woke up!

We all dream, some remember more of them than others, some dream in black and white and others in colour.

However no ones knows why we dream! Just as scientists have no idea why we sleep, there is no definitive answer to why we dream - however there are a lot of theories.

It is commonly agreed that we remember most dreams that happen in the REM stage as this our lightest level of sleep and if we are woken while in the dream, we remember it more easily.
There are theories that it is the brain sorting out information gathered during the day, either processing what is useful to remember and what is not, or as others believe, that dreams help us form new neural pathways in the brain to be able to access information more easily.
Other theories say that frightening and scary dreams are our subconscious trying out the brains flight or fight response.  Some say that they reflect the emotional part of our lives that gets shut down during the day as we are too busy with other stuff.
Another theory is that they do not really serve any function but are just a by product of the brain working while we sleep.

Though at the moment we cannot be sure of why we dream, we do and we spend a lot of time doing it! If you are someone who does not remember dreams vividly and would like to, then try this tip - the moment you wake quickly think back into your dream and try and recall just one image, or feeling or even a word. Just hold your self there and gently focus on that image or feeling then ask 'What happened before?' and see what image or feeling you get then. At first you may get very little, but the more times you do this and focus on recalling your dreams the more you will remember and the easier it becomes.

I learnt to recall my dreams when I was  teenager - a side effect of insomnia is that you dream more frequently and more vividly and have been able to do so ever since Most days I will get up without choosing to focus on my dreams, but enjoy having a little extra time at the weekends to go back and recall them. Most of them are run of the mill and the same old, same old but occasionally a stand out dream will make a big impression on me and it these ones that I take the time to interpret. I look on a dream interpretation as a fun thing to do, well you'd want to know why you were snorkeling with George Clooney, wouldn't you?

My dreams have definitely changed over the years, during one period of my life I used to dream of being chased up and down stairs, another time that I was trying to pack but couldn't fit everything in my bag. Then there were the fear dreams of being naked etc. Mostly at the moment I get obstacle dreams which I can relate to setting up a new business venture - and that's what the fish dream was about!

So what do you dream about?
I hope they're great ones!

Troublesome Thoughts

Let's do a little hand raise here - How many of you have lain awake at night worrying about a situation? It either stops you going to sleep or getting back to sleep if you wake in the night? Though you know there is nothing you can do about it there and then, you still can't switch off your brain and go to sleep.

I still get occasional nights like this and I think that's natural, most people would admit to this, it is a rare and lucky few that can sleep untroubled every single night.

There may be a work presentation, an ill relative, financial worries - in fact a myriad of different things can play on your mind and stop that elusive sleep from happening! If you already have difficulties sleeping this can really add to the problem.

I remember back in my insomnia days when I had been appointed manager at a Children's Centre that I slept badly for months worrying about whether I was good enough for the job. This was crazy - I had gone through an interview process and had already worked for the service, so they knew who I was and what I could do, so they were obviously confident with my abilities. Even the fact that my line manager rarely came to my Centre didn't reassure me, I just thought of a whole heap of reasons why she was avoiding coming to the Centre - none of which included the thought that it was because I was doing a good job of managing it and that she didn't need to spend much time supervising me.

It was easier to slip into my pattern of troublesome thoughts and turn into a worry wort. At this stage in my life I would worry about the strangest of things. I was a worse case scenario type of person and would think about the worse thing that could possibly happen and focus on that instead of taking reassurance about how unlikely that would be.

Things changed when a new friend talked to me about how he was always worrying and if he realised that he was not worrying about something would then think of something to worry about! Though his behaviour seemed extreme I realised that I was guilty of a little bit of this behaviour and that this was not a good place to be living my life and began to change my thought patterns.

So what to do if you have troublesome thoughts that are keeping you awake at night?

Try having a notebook by your bed and before you go to sleep each night write down the things that are bothering you and what you will do about them tomorrow. There is something about writing things down that helps take it out of the mind and breaks the thought cycle. If you do start thinking about it again you can gently tell yourself that you have made a note of it and do not need to think further about it.

Colin Epsie (Director University of Glasgow Sleep Centre) suggests that you repeat a word to block the thought patterns in your head. He recommends the word 'the' as it is a very neutral word. So when you are in bed with a busy mind, just keep repeating the word 'the'.

You can also try some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) I have put up a video on what to do on my Youtube channel here (sorry that the sound is slightly out f sync).

Good luck on breaking the thought cycle!

Sweet dreams

Clock Watching

A bit of a preamble till I get to the point of this post, but I will get there, I promise!

Last week there was a programme on sleep disorders on the BBC and it took five people with sleep difficulties and diagnosed them, then set about making a plan for them. I found it both fascinating and reassuring. Reassuring as lot of the techniques they use, I use with my clients and in my programmes. Fascinating as some of the volunteers thought they had one problem and actually it was something else!

For example one guy had a 'snoring' problem that was keeping his wife awake and he actually had sleep apnea, which is a very serious condition. The other guy with the snoring problem actually slept very well on his own, it was because his partner kept waking him (due to his snoring) that he was getting poor quality sleep!

There was one lady, called Gwen, who has chronic insomnia and had a very negative mindset about sleeping, which is not surprising when you've not been sleeping for over 30 years.
What I found interesting - and I'm now getting into the main part of this post - was that according to the sleep experts, Gwen had the perfect bedroom for sleep, except for one thing - she had an alarm clock where the time display glowed in the dark.

It may seem unusual to say that an alarm clock is out of place in a bedroom, but it's not the alarm it is the fact you can read the time during the night. Gwen had the perfect bedroom - calm colours, heavy curtains, no clutter, a good supportive bed etc. She also claimed not to clock watch but at the same time was able to tell you how much sleep she thought she got each night.
Now - here's another interesting bit, when she spent a night at the sleep clinic and was wired up to monitors she claimed not have slept at all (and, poor thing, looked like she hadn't slept) but what the monitors showed was that she had slept in short little bursts for a total of 4 hours. Over half her time in bed.

Yes, this was not a refreshing and restorative way to sleep, but she was actually sleeping. The experts then came up with a plan of sleep condensing to help her get a more solid block of sleep, which did eventually work for her.

What I found interesting was this belief that she had not slept at all. How often do we tell ourselves how little we have slept? I used to do this. Then I took the alarm clock out of my room. This stopped my clock watching. I was no longer able to estimate how little or even how much I'd slept. If I woke in the night I had no way of knowing if it was midnight or 3am. Initially I found this strange but in only a few nights I actually found this really liberating and actually began to sleep a little better.
If I woke up instead of going into a panic mode of thinking I only had 4 more hours to get some sleep, 3 and half hours, 3 hours and so on.... I was able to tell myself I had plenty of time to get some sleep. I was no longer able to get into a panic about how little sleep I was getting which would start me off in a cycle of anxiety and further reduce any chance of getting back to sleep.

Now when I wake in the night, I feel relaxed. I know I have already had some sleep (a good thing!) and that I have plenty of time to get some more (another good thing). As I am relaxed and not anxious I am able to get back to sleep more easily.

So my suggestion is that you take all clocks out of your bedroom. If you need the alarm function, then cover up any luminous clock displays or turn them to the wall. If you use a phone as your alarm then experiment with switching the phone off. For most modern mobile phones the alarm will still function even if you turn the phone off.

Why not try this out for a week and see what it does for your sleep and please comment below to let me know!

Sweet dreams.

How much is your sleep debt?

According to statisticians we are accumulating around 500 hours of sleep debt a year! That's a lot of debt to pay back. In our modern, fast-paced world a lack of sleep is fast becoming a badge of honour. Do you ever brag about how little sleep you need? When working with my clients I often deal with cases of insomnia and other forms of physical sleep deprivation but far more interesting are those who can sleep but chose not to. Experts recommend 8 hours sleep a night but most people in the modern world are only getting between 6 and 7 hours a night. even a debt of an hour a night adds up very quickly.

Research shows time and time again how lack of sleep affects us both mentally and physically. In this 24/7 era of technology that is supposed to help us live life to the full, experiencing it in more ways than previously thought possible and being in constant communication with the entire world is actually causing more stress and strain on our bodies than in previous generations.

Years ago I had a boyfriend who started work later than me and so got about 45 minutes more sleep than me each night. At the weekend he was up and ready to go out, I was the one who wanted to catch up on my sleep as I felt exhausted. The difference in our energy levels was that noticeable.

Before the invention of artificial light only the very rich could afford a large number of candles and therefore to stay up late. For the rest of us nighttime meant going to bed early and rising with the sun in the morning. We got on average around 9 hours sleep a night. This also kept the body in touch with the rhythms of nature and the seasons. Now with electricity and light available all the time, as well as the advent 24 hour television and the internet we can all stay up late in the night.

So how does sleep debt affect us?

Short term affects include irritability, memory loss, blurred vision, poor judgment, susceptibility to infection, drop in glucose metabolism, and a rise in cortisol (the stress hormone) levels. It also affects how we store information and access it so if you are staying up all night studying or working the reduction in memory loss and judgment abilities is going to negate all the effort that you have put in. Studies on school children have shown that those who got an hours more sleep performed better in tests. Far better to have an early night instead!

Long term affects include a rise in obesity due to poor insulin control. This of course leads to other health problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes etc.

Fortunately sleep debt can be paid back. Try going to bed 30 minutes to an hour earlier every night and see what difference that makes on your energy levels and mental alertness. Take the time to make sleep a priority in your life and you will see the benefits in your health and productivity. If you do have a late night - I don't want to be a party pooper, then make sure that you schedule time for an early night to catch up. A well timed nap will also help your energy levels and mental alertness.

 Life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans and there will times when getting enough sleep is difficult, parents with young children or caring for loved ones who are ill come to mind. If you are in these situations then remember that these are short term and come up with some strategies to help you cope - taking naps, getting children into good sleep routines, taking turns with a partner for weekend lie-ins etc, all help with keeping your sleep debt to a minimum.

Sweet dreams!

So why do we sleep?

"As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy." William Dement - Stanford University Sleep Research Centre.

There is very little research into sleep (and even less into sleep disorders), so much so that no-one is exactly sure why we sleep. It seems such a strange thing in evolutionary terms to sleep - to deliberately leave ourselves vulnerable and defenseless to predators while we snooze and snore.

It was only in the last century that scientists realised that the brain was active during sleep, up till then it had been thought that sleep was a period of inactivity and not worth studying. Now modern tracking techniques have shown how active the brain is at night, this has lead to the discovery of the sleep cycles and the difference between REM and deep, slow wave sleep. These discoveries have allowed for new theories to be put forward as to why we sleep. However they are sill only theories!

Theory 1 - Rest and recuperation
That sleep allows the body a chance to rest and recuperate from being in a state of heightened awareness throughout the day. Sleep allows the body time to heal and repair itself. If we become sleep deprived we are more susceptible to illnesses and take longer to recover.

Theory 2 - Learning
Sleep and the temporary absence of consciousness allows the brain time to process all the information it has learnt and reorganise itself. Again sleep deprivation tests have shown that a lack of REM sleep affects your ability to perform tasks and a lack of deep sleep affects the recall of knowledge.

Theory 3 - Dreaming
Dreams seem to be a result of REM sleep, so maybe the reason we sleep is to dream?

Science is still learning a lot about the world of sleep and new research will hopefully answer our questions about sleep and dreams. In the meantime, we can help our bodies and minds by making sure we allow enough time to sleep.

Sweet dreams

The second sleep

Do you often wake in the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep straight away?
Maybe it's not because you're a freak or different but because we are genetically programmed to do this!

There has been a lot of interest recently (with articles by the BBC, the Times and The Guardian amongst others) about 'the second sleep' and it seems that the human brain is actually programmed to sleep in two four hour chunks.

Research in the 1990's took volunteers and put them in 14 hours of darkness each day. After a few weeks the volunteers had started to sleep in two 4 hour blocks with a one to two hour period of being awake in the middle. despite being of great interest to sleep scientists, the belief that an eight hour block of sleep being the norm has persisted.

Then 2005, historian Roger Ekirch published a book called At Day's Close: Night in Times Past, where he draws on his research where he found over 500 references to segmented sleep in books, in diaries, court records, medical books and literature. what he found interesting was the way in which the references to this sleep pattern were made - as if it was totally normal and that everyone did it.

It seems that the labourers would come home from the work, have something to eat then go to bed - usually because they were really tired! Then approx 4 hours later they would wake up and do things! It was a time for conversation, for prayer, visiting the neighbours, having sex etc. Then they would go to bed and have a second sleep, and wake at dawn ready for another days work.
A doctor's manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day's labour but "after the first sleep", when "they have more enjoyment" and "do it better".

Ekirch found that references to the segmented sleep dwindle from the 17th Century onwards and links this to social change, the shift to living in cities and eventually the increase in street and domestic lighting, which helped develop a leaning towards socialising in the evening and pushed sleep into one later block of up to 8 hours.

Though the majority of people have adapted to sleeping in one 8 hour block, sleep researchers now think that this could be the root cause of sleep maintenance insomnia, where sufferers wake during the night. It is helpful to realise that most people do wake in the night but that most do not remember it, whereas an insomnia suffer, who is already stressed about lack of sleep, may become more anxious at waking and take longer to fall back asleep. For these people it the realisation that it is not some abnormality but in fact genetic programming may help them and their anxieties around sleep.

In fact, if we look there is still evidence of this segmented sleep around us. Babies who need to wake in the night for feeding, toddlers who still need an afternoon nap, and in hotter climates - an afternoon siesta during the heat of the day, followed by working later in the cool of the evening. The modern world with 24 hour electricity and an unbroken day work ethic actually is encroaching on our sleep patterns even more.

So maybe for those of us who do wake in the night, we need to be celebrating this fact - that we are more in tune with nature and our bodies, that we can use this period of wakefulness for contemplation, meditation and destress (just like our forefathers used the time for prayer and relaxation). Since I found out about segmented sleep a few months ago, I am more relaxed about waking in the night and call it my 'throwback'. Ironically, since being more relaxed about night time waking, I sleep better!

Please comment below if you are a segmented sleeper or have issues around night time waking, I'd love to know your thoughts.

Sweet dreams!

The stick process

This post follows on from last week's post about your thought patterns, so please read that first, then this one will make more sense!
 I use this process with coaching clients who are stuck in one thought pattern and want to change to another. This works well with sleep problems, especially insomnia and other non specific disorders, though you can use it with any situation you feel stuck in - weight loss, lack of money etc. It is a visualisation process, so allow yourself to picture the situation and notice how your body feels during the two different stages.

Picture that you are holding a stick in your hand - it needs to be a really long stick, (you'll see why in a minute), as big as a javelin. It's impossible to hold it at both ends.
Now imagine at one end of the stick is the negative thoughts that you have around sleep -
I always sleep badly
Why can't I sleep like everyone else
I'm always tired etc

Now imagine the other end of the stick, and it has all the positive thoughts that about sleep -
I sleep like a baby
I always wake feeling rested and refreshed
Sleep restores my body etc

Now because this stick is so big, you can only hold one end of it. If you are holding the end that has all the negative thoughts, then you cannot hold the end with the positive thoughts.

Now picture yourself holding the stick at the negative end. Start repeating all the negative thoughts that you have about sleep and notice how you feel. Is your body tensing up? How is your breath? How do you feel about sleep? Just as we discussed last week, it is our thoughts that hold us back from what we want and determine what we achieve, so if you are holding the negative end of the stick you are like the repelling end of the magnet and  is pushing away the possibility of great sleep.

It is impossible to have both negative and positive thoughts about sleep (or whatever subject you are choosing) at the same time, so you need to drop the stick, and change your thought patterns!

So you can now chose to hold the positive end, the end with the positive thoughts about sleep. So picture yourself holding the stick at the positive end and start to go through those positive thoughts and  notice how different it feels. How much calmer you become and how the possibility for great sleep becomes more real. This is like the positive end of a magnet that attracts more good thoughts and then as these increase, more good feelings about sleep.

So next time you realise that you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, (perhaps you are in bed and unable to fall asleep), take a deep breath and ask which end of the stick are you holding and which end do you want to be holding and make a conscious decision to take hold of the positive. Really focus on those good feelings and allow your body to relax as this will allow you to sleep.

I hope this visualisation helps you in achieving a better night's sleep, please let me know your thoughts and if it works.

Sweet dreams

 (I just went to check where I found this process and it wasn't in the book I thought it was. So, I would love to give credit for it, so if anyone recognises it, then please let me know!)

What are you telling yourself?

So, you've had a bad night's sleep, the alarm was unwelcome and you're about to face the day.
What are the thoughts going through your mind right now?

When I work with my clients, we look at their 'mental chatter'. Those thoughts that race through your head at any given moment.
'Need to buy some tomatoes, oh, and some broccoli, mustn't forget to book the dentists appointment, don't glare at me - how am I supposed to know you were going to step out of the door without looking, wonder where she got that coat from...'
You know the stuff.

Though it may seem pretty mindless stuff, it can actually be very powerful stuff, as this mental chatter and internal thoughts go a long way to programming your brain and how you feel.
If you are dwelling on an unpleasant situation and going over and over it again, you rapidly bring your emotions and feelings down into a negative spiral.

For example - spend a few moments thinking about the last time someone was rude to you. What did they say? What was their body language like? How did you react? How did you feel at the time? What would you do differently?
Now take a big breath and note how you feel right now. Are you angry, do you feel tension in your body, how positive or negative do you feel? Isn't it amazing that the person is not here with you, the situation is in the past, but you still feel all those emotions.

Now, think about the last time you laughed. Was it something someone did or said? A joke you heard, or a picture you saw? Was it a comedy show on tv? Did you laugh out loud, was it a real belly laugh?
Take a big breath and note how you feel this time. Do you feel happy? How positive or negaive do you feel? How different do you feel to a moment ago when you were thinking about the other situation?

I hope you can understand what I'm getting at.

So how does this relate to sleep?
Well, picture yourself having had only 5 hours sleep. It's the following morning, how do you feel? What emotions are going through you? The alarm goes off and what are you telling yourself? What is your 'chatter' saying?
Is it saying - Only 5 hours, how am I going to cope? I felt I was awake all night. How am I going to be at work? I feel so tired, I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day?

Or is it saying - 5 hours sleep, well that's 5 hours more than no sleep. At least I got some sleep. As I have slept, I know that I'll get through the day because I've done it before. Several times in fact.

Can you see the difference between the two sets of thought patterns. If you can start to shift from the first to the second then you are on your way to changing your mindset from one of an insomniac to one of a sleeper. And that's a step towards more sleep! You see a good sleeper doesn't worry about how much sleep they get. If they have a poor night's sleep (which they do) they don't worry about it, or start obsessing about it, they know they will sleep ok the next night. When they are talking to their friends they don't go on about a lack of sleep, in fact they probably don't mention sleep at all, unless asked.

From my experience it was difficult to start the shift of changing my internal chatter but I persisted and soon got the idea. I monitored my thoughts and would catch myself and then started to look for the positive things about how much sleep I got. Little by little it got easier to do. I began to feel more positive about my sleep and how much I was getting. I started to notice that I didn't feel so gloomy in the mornings, that I felt lighter. That in general my morning thoughts were more positive and I didn't get stuck in negative thought patterns, and if started to think negatively (about anything) that I would catch myself and start thinking about more enjoyable things. Now when I wake in the morning I scan my body to see how I'm feeling and take that as my starting point rather than trying to remember if I woke in the night or not.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not leaping out of bed saying 'Yee hah, I got 5 hours sleep last night, I'm on fire!!' but the changes that I have made are notable. If my mental chatter does start drifting into the 'Only 4 hours sleep mode' I am able to quickly start reassuring myself that I will be able to cope. I also remind myself that I have been sleeping well, that this is a rare night etc.

What has been amazing is that by focusing on what sleep I am getting, rather than on what sleep I'm not, is that I am getting more sleep. It is simple 'What you focus on expands' and if you focus on a lack of sleep, that's what you see and if you focus on sleep, that's what you see.

Please try this for yourselves and note the differences in your feelings about sleep and how this impacts on how you cope with the day. Remember that this is the first step in changing your mindset, so congratulate yourself each time for doing it.
I would love to know how you are getting on either so please comment below or send me a message on facebook.

Till next time
Sweet dreams

What's your sleep story?

One of the fascinating things that I have discovered when talking to people about their sleep, is how different everyone's sleep history is.

During my insomnia days I wanted to put my head on my pillow, fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours - 'Like everyone else did!' However, the more I talk to people about sleep, the more I realize that not many people do sleep for 8 hours straight.

It is much more likely that people have individual quirks when it comes to sleep - needing the temperature just right, sleep talking, snoring, delays in going to sleep, waking in the night for no reason, being woken by strange noises, habits changing over time, needing sleep rituals... The list seems almost endless. What I have found reassuring about this is that even if I have felt alone at 3am and felt like I was the only person awake at that time, that actually I'm not, and that other people have their sleep stories too. I have found that really reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one. It also helped reduce my stress over sleep and, strangely, made falling asleep a little easier.

I have asked some of my friends to share their sleep stories - what affects them, how they overcame sleep disturbances, funny stories of sleep talking/walking etc. I will be adding more stories over the next few weeks, so if you have an interesting, unusual or funny story that you would like to share, then please contact me, I'd love to talk to you about it!

Here is the link to the first few stories.
http://www.charlottewelply.com/sleep-stories.html

Hope you enjoy listening to them and remember to check back regularly for more stories!

Sweet dreams

More pillow talk!

Last week we looked at different pillow types and how, depending on your sleep style, they can help improve the quality of your sleep.
This week we'll be taking a peek inside your pillows and see what they are made of!

The allergy debate - it has been recomended that allergy sufferers avoid down and feather pillows, but I would suggest that you experiment with this. An old boyfriend had terrible asthma and had synthetic bedding - which I always found uncomfortable to sleep with, but he never had any problems sleeping with my bedding (a combination of feather and down pillows and duvet). If you have an allergy then you tend to have very specific triggers and if feathers and down set of your allergies then there are plenty of alternatives.

Feather and down have traditionally been used in pillows. They provide plenty of loft and support and allow for good airflow in the pillow. They can be squashed and reshaped easily to provide support where you want it. They do however, lose feathers and support over time. They are easily washed and dried.

Synthetic pillows - this has long been the alternative of choice for allergy sufferers as they are a low allergen risk, easily washable and can be quite cheap. They are available in different lofts and supports, so you can chose one that will help support your head. They are less easy to mold and shape and can bunch in places after a few washes. You do get what you pay for and cheaper pillows will not last as long.

Memory Foam - as Memory foam becomes cheaper to make it is becoming a more viable option for bedding, but you need to do your research to pick the pillow that is right for you. Too dense a foam and it can stop providing support and block air circulation around your head causing you to sweat more. There are also some poor quality, cheap brands on sale. This can be a good option for those who have neck and shoulder pain as you nestle into the foam as it molds into your shape.

Cotton filling - this is making a come back as it used to be a traditional filling choice and is now popular with those looking for a more organic lifestyle. It has a natural breathing ability and can help keep you cooler on hot nights. Over time the filling can become more compact and harder to sleep on.

Wool filling - Not only is wool light and fluffy as a pillow filler it also has a natural wicking ability taking moisture away from your head when you sleep and keeping you cool. This wicking ability also makes it an unsuitable environment for dust mites, so is a good choice for an allergy sufferer.

Natural latex - You can get 3 different types of pillow, one with a firm central support, one that is contoured and one that is shredded (mimicking a down pillow). Natural latex is flexible, provides good support and lasts a long time. It also  absorbs moisture, regulates heat, circulates air and so inhibits the growth of mould and mildew. It is also a natural dust mite repellent.

Buckwheat and millet - these have been used in Asia for long time. The grains move around in the pillow, cradling your head and neck, so providing support as you move around during your sleep. They can be noisy and so are often used as an inner filling with an outer filling of cotton or wool.

These have been a few suggestions, if you know of any others that have really helped improve your sleep, then please feel free to comment below!

Sweet Dreams.

Pillow Talk!

Did you know that you should replace your pillows every two to three years? Nope, me neither! I was looking into this the other day and there seems to be quite an online debate about this, but the general rule of thumb seems to be that if it's not giving you support then it should go. It also seems that synthetic pillows wear out more quickly than feather ones.

In order to stop those pesky little dust mites taking over, then they should be washed and tumbled dried every few months and special pillow protectors will also help cut down on allergens and mites as well as extend the life of your pillows.

If you are looking at replacing your pillows then what sort should you go for? It seems that there is a type for every kind of sleeper. Even hotels are getting in on the act these days and have pillow menus for you to choose from. It is important to get a pillow that meets your needs as something as simple as giving your head and neck the correct support will help improve your sleep.

This week I'll look at different pillow shapes and next week we can look at different fillings, to help you choose the correct pillow for you.

Traditional rectangular pillows
These pillows suit a lot of people. You should check how firm and how high it is, if it is too high and has no give it will distort your neck and be uncomfortable to sleep on. If you sleep on your front, you should choose a thin pillow (you may even not need a pillow at all). Natural fillings can be pushed and molded to provide support where you need it.

Contoured rectangular pillows
I changed to one of these a few years ago and really miss it if I am traveling! These tend to cradle the head by having a dip in the middle and a high edge to support the neck. These suit people who sleep on their sides or back and ensure the spine is in alignment all the way through the neck and down the back. They do come with different fillings providing firm to medium support.

V shaped pillows
These offer great support if you need to sleep in a more upright position and can help aid sleep if you have a chest complaint or acid reflux. They are also popular amongst pregnant and breast feeding women.

Bolster pillows

These are long thin tubes that come in various lengths and fillings. They can be molded around your body and support you in a variety of ways. They are a classic means of supporting the neck but can also be used by a side sleeper, being tucked between the knees (to stop them rubbing), and by pregnant women (supporting the abdomen). If you sleep on your back, then a smaller one can be used tucked under your knees to relieve pressure on the back.
My friend used one when on holiday in Morocco and found it helped his sleep so much he brought one when he got home.

Boyfriend pillow
Ok - this one is a bit of a novelty factor, but does provide support for a side sleeper!

And before I get accused of sexism - here's the male version, a lap pillow!

As I mentioned, I use a contoured pillow for my head but also have a down pillow that I hug!
What is your favourite pillow type, what works best for you?
Please use the comment box below and pass on any pillow tips!

Until next week.

Sweet dreams

Unusal ideas to help you sleep

If, like me you are tired of tips and recommendations that include the usual 'Avoid caffeine after lunch' and 'Don't exercise late in the evening' then here are a few ideas that are a little bit more unusual and have worked for me!

1 Bedsocks - I came across this solution by chance and am so glad I found it. About 10 years ago I saw some bedsocks on sale (which I had never seen before) and thought they looked cute, so brought some. To my surprise they helped me fall asleep more quickly and I slept better. Apparently this is because as you sleep your circulatory system slows down and keeps your blood supply in the core of your body, but you need to drop your body temperature to sleep, so having warm feet (and hands) encourages the blood supply to the extremities and cools your core temperature. I am now a big fan and recommend them to any poor sleeper. It is now possible to buy them quite easily, however I would suggest loose fitting cotton ones as the synthetic ones make my feet hot and sweaty and so do not work as well.


2 Cherries - I am lucky enough to live an area where Spring means it's cherry time and the fruit stalls at the market are overflowing with yummy cherries but did you know that tart cherries contain significant amounts of melatonin (the hormone that helps you sleep). A study at the School of Life Sciences at Northumbria University, has shown that a glass of unsweetened cherry juice morning and night helped increase sleep by 25% and improved sleep quality. Why not see if this works for you?

3 Repeat the word 'the' - If you can't sleep because you have repetative thoughts going round in your head and can not seem to shut them off, try repeating the word 'the' to yourself. It is a neutral word and has no associations so helps turn the repetitive thoughts off. I've tried to think of other words to use, but this is the best one!

4 Sitting on a stool - So, you're all tucked up in bed and can't fall asleep. How about getting up and sitting on a stool for 15 minutes? The theory is that your body would rather be anywhere than sitting on a stool in the middle of the night and so is more willing to go back to sleep when you go back to bed. Use a stool - so you don't get comfortable, do not turn on the lights,read, wrap yourself in a blanket, or do anything to make it a more pleasurable experience as your body would prefer to do that. It has to be a slightly unpleasant experience to work. I tried it and it does work, but, strangely enough, I don't like doing it!

5 Scripting - If you can not sleep because you have a big occasion the next day and are worried about it, then try writing out the 'script' of how you would like it to go. Pretend that you are a Hollywood filmwriter and write out your perfect day/scenario. Really get into the feeling of it, write down who is going to be there with you, what is going to be said, what the outcome will be. Only write positive things ie - if you have a meeting to discuss a pay rise, then imagine it going well, your boss is willing to listen, you present your case well and s/he agrees and suggests a figure that you are happy with. Play with it and try different positive outcomes that could happen. Ideally do this before you go to bed, but it can be done if you wake in the night. Your brain and body will feel more relaxed and in control and so help enable sleep.

I hope some of these suggestions are new to you and do comment below if you try them out!

Sweet dreams.

3 quick steps to change your brain to a sleep mindset

Which of these statement rings true for you?

'It doesn't matter what I do, I always sleep badly.'

'Sleep's not a problem for me, I always sleep well.'

If you are reading this, then there is a good chance that it is the first statement! For a lot of people their insomnia will have started for a reason but it is the power of the mind that turns it from a temporary problem into a permanent one. Fortunately it is possible to use that power to change to the mindset of a good sleeper.

Good sleepers do not think about sleep, they accept it as part of their lives, they do not focus on it, obsess about it or talk about how much sleep they get. However these are subjects that an insomniac will focus on for hours on end and I know this, as it is what I used to do!
Here are 3 ideas to get you started in the process of changing to the mindset of a good sleeper.

1 - Stop clock watching.
Make the night yours and as long as it needs to be. If you constantly focus on the time and how little you have slept and how time is ticking away for you to get back to sleep, you are focusing on your lack of sleep and adding to your stress levels, which prevents your brain from relaxing and allowing sleep. If you wake and have no idea what the time is, you instantly allow more possibilities - perhaps you have only slept for an hour and have plenty of time to get more sleep, perhaps you have been asleep for hours already and you can doze a little before the alarm goes off. These thoughts are more relaxing and calming to the mind which in turn allows you to fall asleep more easily.
So switch your phone off, and turn your alarm clock to face the wall and allow the night to be as long as you want.

2 -  Be grateful for the sleep you do get.
It is all too easy to focus on how little you slept during the night, but hey - you slept, which is better than no sleep at all! Being grateful for the sleep you did get is a powerful step as it works in two ways. Firstly,what you focus on expands and by being appreciating the sleep you did get allows you to focus on sleep rather than the lack of it. Secondly, focusing on the sleep you did get changes your energy in a positive way. Say the following two phrases to yourself and see which one feels better to you - 'I only slept 4 hours last night, I should have got more.' or 'Hey, I got 4 hours sleep last night, I can cope with that!' you can feel the difference between the positive and the negative and it's the positive that is going to start changing your mindset.

3 - Think about the story you are telling yourself and others.
It may initially feel good to tell everyone that you are an insomniac and a poor sleeper as you do get some sympathy and attention. However the more you repeat this story the more ingrained it becomes in your mind and your personality. Though others may ask you each day how you slept and are concerned for you, it is putting you in the insomniac box and is that where you want to be? So the next time you are at work or with your friends and you are about to mention how badly you slept, ask yourself  'Is this what I want my story to be?' If it is not, change it to something more positive, or decide not to mention it at all.

These steps may seem difficult to do at first and I encourage you to persist with them, as you will be taking the first steps in reprogramming your brain for sleep!

Sweet dreams

The Benefits of Insomnia

It seems strange to say but there were a few things that I liked about being an insomniac. Yes, the sleep deprivation and its effects were not good were not good as I was constantly tired and exhausted, the grey circles under my eyes were not a fashion statement and I was always looking for the magic pill to make me sleep but it wasn't all bad, which is why I guess it took me so long to sort it out.

When you are awake in the middle of the night there is this strange feeling of being the only person in the world, that it is all yours. You look out of the window onto a quiet city, no traffic, no people, a silence that you don't normally hear and it seems very refreshing and calming and a time to enjoy the city in a different way.

If there is a lighted window in the distance I can feel some sort of connection with whoever lives there - we are both awake when everyone else is asleep.

I would be able to recall my dreams very easily and because I would wake so many times in the night, I could recall 3 or 4 different dreams in one night. This is something that I really do miss from my insomniac days (or should that be nights?) as now I can only recall one dream a night, so I make the most of lazy weekend starts and try and recall that one dream in as much detail and as far back as I possibly can.

As an insomniac you belong to a club, a club involving 10% of the population. It's something that you may discover in conversation "Oh, you're an insomniac too?" and suddenly you are in a whole different line of conversation that good sleepers can't join in! Now when talking about insomnia I feel like the 'virtuous ex smoker' hanging around in a cigarette break telling people not to smoke, or even worse - that I'm hanging around the in-crowd trying to be cool enough to fit in. I don't quite belong.

Then there is the feeling of martyrdom, of suffering while all those around you are enjoying themselves. "I only had 3 hours sleep last night, but I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." and waiting for the sympathy to pour in. Actually thinking about this, this is probably the one area I don't miss that much. Now that I see others doing it around me - it annoys me. Thank goodness I don't do that anymore!

When I was a teenager my mother was quite ill and often woke in the night and I would sometimes find her awake in the kitchen and we would sit and have a chat over a cup of (chamomile) tea before going back to bed. I used to call it 'Club 2.30'. It was a special time and gave me an opportunity to get to know her as a person rather than just 'Mum'. Memories of her I shall treasure forever.

So, as you can see there have been quite a few benefits for me of being an insomniac and I do miss them and writing this post makes me feel very nostalgic. However the benefits that I have gained from sleeping through the night do outweigh this and I am glad that I made the decision to change to a sleep mindset.

Sweet dreams!

Sleep deprivation

First of all, let me apologize for an absence of posts lately, I have been busy setting things up for my sleep coaching business, please check out my website, where you have access to a free guided meditation to help you sleep! Things are now back under control and I have more time to write blog posts!

I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night, actually that should be this morning, as it was around 1am, I am, as I have said before a night owl!

He brought up the fact that he wasn't an insomniac however he did not get enough sleep as he was always doing 'one more thing' before bed. He also mentioned the internet as being a big cause of this!

This got me thinking, we have heard a lot about how insomnia can lead to big health problems including weight gain, diabetes, stress, high blood pressure etc, but what does the effect of sleep deprivation have on health? In some ways insomnia and deliberate sleep deprivation are the same thing and a quick search through the internet reveals that yes, they do both have the same effect on your body.
So if you are someone who goes to bed late and therefore does not get enough sleep please read on for three surprising affects that may help you make more of an effort to go to bed on time!

It ages your skin. It seems that the term 'Beauty Sleep' holds true, and this should be enough to get everyone rushing in to bed to catch up on their zzzzzzz's. The first thing you notice is red and puffy eyes as well as grey rings under your eyes, and it can also lead to the development of fine lines. However lack of sleep also has more long term damage. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol. In excess amounts, cortisol can break down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic.
Sleep loss also causes the body to release too little human growth hormone. When we’re young, human growth hormone promotes growth. As we age, it helps increase muscle mass, thicken skin, and strengthen bones. It is in deep sleep when the growth hormone repairs the tissues in the body, are you getting enough deep sleep?

It makes you forgetful. Want to remain sharp and focused? Try getting plenty of sleep. Researchers determined that brain events called “sharp wave ripples” are responsible for consolidating memory. The ripples also transfer learned information from the hippocampus to the neocortex of the brain, where long-term memories are stored. Sharp wave ripples occur mostly during the deepest levels of sleep.

It impairs your judgment, especially about how much sleep you need! Lack of sleep can affect our interpretation of events. This hurts our ability to make sound judgments because we may not assess situations accurately and act on them wisely.
Sleep-deprived people seem to be especially prone to poor judgment when it comes to assessing what lack of sleep is doing to them. In our increasingly fast-paced world, functioning on less sleep has become a kind of badge of honor. However even if you think you’re doing fine on less sleep, you’re probably wrong. Studies have shown that even if you think your body has adapted to only six hours sleep, tests on mental alertness and performance show that is not the case.

So, if you wear your lack of sleep as a badge of honour, ask yourself is it really worth staying up to watch that tv show? Do you actually need to check that one last thing on the internet?
How about being kind to yourself and going to bed on time, aiming for 7 to 8 hours sleep, so you can wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed - ready to face the day! Check out my previous post about setting up a great bedtime routine to help you make the most of your sleep.

Sweet dreams!

Night, night, sleep tight.

Last week I posted this picture on my Facebook page, because I am one of those who will take ages to log off from the computer as I 'just want to check one more thing'!

My friend commented that she had heard it was good to have an hour of 'no screen time' before going to bed' and was asking why.
As I replied to her comment, I realized that I guilty of not always practicing what I preach. I think part of this has been hard wired into my brain. I used to tell myself and others things such as -
"I'm such a bad insomniac that it won't make any difference to me."
"Pah, unwind before I go to bed - why bother, I go to sleep alright, it's staying asleep that is the problem."

Comments such as these re-enforced my beliefs about sleep and insomnia - that it would always be a difficulty for me. I was really into my own little pity party around sleep. I now know what an effect these comments can have and realize what I say to myself is important.

Also that what I do is important.

As a child I used to have a bath and a bedtime story. Over the years this changed. Like most parents, mine stopped being so active in this routine when we were old enough to bathe unsupervised and read by ourselves. Evening baths were replaced by morning showers and then as a teenager, I was doing homework late at night. As an adult I had a TV in my room. Also over this time my sleep patterns were changing and insomniac habits were settling in.

So now as adults I think we need to restart our bedtime routines and tuck ourselves in at night!

Technology is too stimulating and does need to be switched off before bedtime. Other stimulants include caffeine and alcohol. You should also avoid exercise late in the evening - the only exception to this would be yoga or other relaxing/stretching exercise to release your body of tension.

Take TV's out of the bedroom. They may 'help' you fall asleep, but they are not a good crutch to have and I would often wake later in the night as I could hear the noise on the telly and then not be able to go back to sleep.
Take time to tick of the days chores from your list, and plan what to do tomorrow, so that your mind does not have to think and remember what needs to be done.
Have a bath to start relaxing and unwinding.
Switch off bright lights, and use lamps etc, to start telling your brain it is night time so it can start releasing the right hormones to prepare you for sleep.
Read a few pages of a book, to bring back associations with childhood bedtimes, or other relaxing hobby, to start unwinding.

When you go to bed - switch your mobile phone off! We are so into being in contact 24/7 but it is not good for us! For years I have used my phone as my alarm clock and thought I couldn't switch it off and would be woken in the night by texts coming through, but then a friend told me that in most phones, the alarm will work even when the phone is switched off. So, if you use your phone as an alarm try this now - set your alarm for 2 mins time and switch the phone off and see what happens!

I am pretty good at most of these things - except switching the computer off, so I'll be making an effort to that. What do you need to change to help you sleep better?

Sweet dreams!

Night Owl or Morning Lark

My morning routine is timed down to the last possible second that I can stay in bed. I look at people with horror when they say that they get up early to do the housework before they go to work. When people say that they find it difficult to have a lie-in, I feel sorry for them on missing out on the delight of waking up and then realising that it's the weekend and you can turn over and drift of back to sleep again.  Over the years my colleagues have learnt not to expect greatness out of me first thing in the mornings. I only found out that the local street market really did open at 7am, when I was coming home one night (OK, morning) and realised I could buy some bread before going to sleep.

Yes, I am a self confessed Night owl and I love it. When on holiday I quickly drifted to the habit of going to sleep around 2am and waking around 10. There are times that I have struggled with it as as modern society tends to favour the Morning Lark - school hours, 9-5 working, shop opening hours etc. I have found ways to make it work for me and things are changing and though some people may complain about the 24 hour lifestyle, I am finding it's advantages.

Whether you are a Night Owl or Morning Lark has some genetic basis. Your own circadian rhythms have a huge influence on your sleep patterns, but just as you can change your sleep patterns to overcome jet lag, I can change to become a morning person.

This is not something I have ever relished doing, though is easier now that I have sorted my insomnia and now sleep well.
Working in daycare has meant that for most of my working life I have been subject to shift work. Not the huge shift patterns of night working but starting work anywhere between 7am and 10am. These changes are irritating enough to affect your routines but don't solicit the outpouring of sympathy that night shift workers get. For a morning person the answer to these slight changes would be to get up everyday at 6am, but for a sleep deprived person, this idea was bad news and late starts were seen as the opportunity for a sleep catch up and early finishes for an afternoon nap.

I did have one job where for 5 years I was working 9 - 5.30. I had hoped that over time, a regular getting up time would help my sleeping habits. It didn't. I still struggled for those 5 years of getting up at 7am for five days a week and enjoyed my weekend lie-ins.

Now that I am sleeping properly, I have been able to think about and have begun to change my sleeping habits. Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting up at dawn but I have reduced my lie-ins and am scheduling my sleep pattens into a slightly more modern world friendly schedule. Most days I go to bed around midnight and wake around 8am. It was an effort to do this at first, especially at the weekend, but I am seeing the benefits and am getting more done. Now when I stay up late because of a party, it is the exception and getting up early a couple of days a week for my earlier shifts at the crèche are not a struggle and I get the benefits of an early finish for my work day.

It would still be easy to go back to my extreme Night Owl ways, and I don't think I'll ever bounce out of bed at 6am, but for the moment, these new hours are suiting me fine.

What about you? Are you a morning person or do you dance on the tables till dawn? Are you happy with this, or do you want to change? Has a change in your life also made these changes for you? What adjustments have you made to your life to fit with or change these habits? Please comment below, it would be fascinating to find out?

Sweet dreams!

Time to dream

One of the things I enjoyed about being an insomnic was that it was fairly easy to remember my dreams. I woke several times in the night, so there would be a different dream to recall each time. Even now that I sleep well, I still have the ability to easily recall my dreams.

I became fascinated by my dreams in my late teens and brought a dream interpretation book, put a notebook and pen by my bed and began to record my dreams. I still have the book, it is very battered and dog eared and the cover is nearly falling off. Now there are several dream interpretation sites online, (here's one) but I still refer to the old book from time to time - it's a lot quicker than switching the computer on at night! A lot of these websites are American so you may have to type in American words not English ones to get the meanings.

People have been fascinated by dreams over the centuries and have analysed and interpreted them, some believe they tell the future and others that they help diagnose physical health. In modern times Freud and Jung felt that dream interpretation was a key to the unconscious mind.

If you want to remember your dreams, you need to start writing down all that you remember immediately when you wake up. Lie still and think about all that you remember. At first it may only be a snatch or glimpse of a longer dream. Write down everything but don't attempt to make sense of it. The more you do this the better your recall will become. I find the easiest way is when I recall a scene and have noted it, I ask myself 'How did I get there?' and am able to remember what happened before and then I work back in stages. Also note down your emotions and how you feel. I have had some dreams which on recall have been intensely happy and sometimes overwhelmingly sad.

When you can start to recall more details from your dreams then you can start to research what they mean. This is the interesting bit!
I tend to go with an overall feeling first and what struck me as being the important elements and after having found that out, I then look up the smaller more detailed aspects that fill in the gaps.
Due to the fact that you incorporate noises and outside events into your dreams, you need to be careful about what dreams you choose to interpret - if you live near a railway and constantly dream of trains, be aware that you may be incorporating the noises you are hearing as you sleep. Also alcohol and eating late at night may produce vivid and imaginative dreams but again these should be discounted.

You may find you have recurring themes in your dreams. For a couple of years, whilst going through a long, drawn out process of being made redundant, I used to dream about boats (which symbolise your journey through life) sometimes they would be big ships and other times small rowing boats. When I was in a relationship that deep down I knew was going nowhere, but was reluctant to end, I used to dream of being chased and trying to hide, when the relationship ended, so did the dreams. I also dream of flying and I feel so good in those ones, even long after I have woken up.

With practise you can even start to control your dreams with lucid dreaming. This is great fun. All that is needed is for you to be aware that you are dreaming and then you can start to put in elements that you want to happen in life. Athletes use this for improving their performance, you can practise asking your boss for a pay rise etc. Personally I have found that if I try and push a dream in a certain direction and it won't go there - blocks are put up in the dreams, then it is a lesson for me that maybe this isn't the right direction for my life to take.

My favourite dream of all time? I was swimming in the sea with George Clooney, we were snorkeling over coral and then sitting on the rocks, basking in the sunlight. That was a great way to spend the night!

Sweet dreams!

The perfect bedroom

In the last post, I encouraged you to look at your bedrooms and see if they could be made more sleep friendly by taking things out. This time, it's about putting things in!!

Doing these things is not going to cure insomnia overnight, but will definitely help. A lot of insomniacs dread going to bed as it brings up associations with not sleeping, with lying in bed awake, tossing and turning, in fact bed is associated with everything but sleep.
In order to start changing this mindset, it helps to make your bedroom somewhere where you want to go, a place that you want to spend time in.

In my London flat, the bedroom was the last place I decorated. My logic went along the lines of the other rooms - where I would be spending most of my waking time and where I would entertain, seemed to be the most important to get looking good. So by the time I got round to my bedroom, it had already become a dumping ground and the thought of moving all the stuff out seemed too daunting, so I kept delaying and delaying! Then when I did get round to painting - I painted it a bright and cheery yellow.

In hindsight all these things were big mistakes and I was not creating a calm, relaxing place to sleep.

Since then I have done a lot more research into sleep and especially (the horribly clinical sounding) 'sleep hygine'. It all makes sense!

Your bedroom should be a calm, relaxing place to be and my bright yellow walls were more stimulating than calming. So think about your colour scheme - is it calming or stimulating?

What is your bed like? Does your mattress need replacing? It is recommended to replace them every 10 years. It is also worth spending quite a lot on a good quality mattress that supports your back. It can seem a waste to spend a lot of money on something as simple as a mattress, but you do spend a 3rd of your life in bed, might as well be comfortable when you're there! Take your time buying a mattress, spend an afternoon or two trying out different ones, go on, lie on all the beds in Ikea!! I like a good quality sprung mattress, but if anyone has tried the tempura ones, please comment below and let us know what they are like.

How about the bedding? I like pure cotton, it feels so good! I also prefer white sheets, this may be something to do with Feng Shui that I learnt in Hong Kong, but it could be just because I like the look, the reasons are lost in the mists of time. I also have one of the 4 seasons type duvets and even in the winter have them in two separate duvet covers as I like to be able to adjust the temperature. I also have a feather duvet as I was going for luxury and the feelgood factor, but again, this is a personal preference. I also sleep on an anatomical pillow. At first it was strange but now I really like it and don't feel as if I have the same support from a traditional pillow. I also have a feather pillow that I hug!

The bedroom should also be slightly cooler than the other rooms, as again this helps sleep. I know that I find it difficult to sleep in a heated room and like to have the window open.

I know some people swear by blackout blinds. I did have one when the bedroom window was East facing and the sun would come in early in the morning, but apart from that one place have not felt the need for one. What about your bedroom window, would one help you?

So look through the list and think about the different areas and if there are things you could change. You may say to yourself - but I need to have 3 pillows, but if you are not sleeping with 3, is it worth trying something different? You could be saying - I need to warm whan I sleep, but again, could this be something to change to see if you sleep better?

I used to read these articles and ignore them, but the reality has been that changing things, little by little, has improved my quality of sleep. I love going to bed, I know I'll be cosy and comfortable and that helps a lot when I'm going to sleep. Let me know what works for you - it could really helpful for another reader too.

Sweet dreams!

Clearing the clutter for sleep

As an insomniac, one of the things you tend to do is read a lot of information about sleep and how to get it. If a magazine article promises you a great night's sleep, I would buy the magazine in the hope of the one magic tip that would transform my night's of wakefulness into ones of blissful slumber. Usually they would repeat the same old things - don't have caffeine in the evenings, exercise, warm bath, use the bedroom for sleeping only etc, etc. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, " I'd say to myself  "I've not drank caffeine for x years, do a job like mine and you exercise all day, I fall asleep in the bath but not in bed,  try not using your bedroom for anything else when you live in London...." 

You see my home in South London was the top floor of a semi-detached house that had been made into flats. Due to this it, had an unusual design feature of a huge bedroom that was bigger than the living room. This meant that I used it to store all sorts of things in there - the ironing board, the hoover, piles of books etc, basically it had a lot of stuff in there. A lot. Somewhere amongst it all was my bed, with a lot of stuff stored under it. At that time I was not ready for changing my sleeping habits and I did not take any of this 'strange' advice easily and put up barriers as to why I couldn't change things.

When I came to France, I ended up in this amazing flat with 4 metre high ceilings - which gives it a great feeling of space. It has a bedroom, bathroom, mezzanine and a huge open plan living/kitchen area. The bedroom is tiny and could just about fit a double bed in and not much else. I realised that for the space to work for me I'd need to use the bedroom as my massage room (it's the perfect size for that) and sleep in the mezzanine above the bathroom. With the help of friends I managed to get my bed up there (you have to go up a ladder) and fortunately - not much else will go up there. The mezzanine is quite low and I can't stand up properly in it but I can sit up in bed, so I just spend my time up there sleeping. 

I now understand why all these magazine articles tell you to use your bedroom for sleeping. It is now an area that I associate with sleep, it is calm up there and not much to distract me. As I need help if I want to take anything up there that needs to be held with more than one hand, there is very little there. Now when I go up there, it is because I am tired and am going to bed. This strong association has helped my brain make a link between bed and feeling sleepy and, in turn, has helped me improve my quality of sleep.

Now I can really see why clutter is a problm for sleep. I worked with one client who showed me a picture of her bedroom and she had so much clutter in there it was hard to get to her bed. How can that be a productive environment for sleep, when your stuff is actually crowding in on your bed? Another woman mentioned that she slept on the sofa as her room had got to such a state that there was too much clutter actually on the bed! 

In coaching circles there is a lot of emphasis on clearing clutter. It helps you let go of the past and gives you physical space to allow more into your life, whether that be a new job or relationship. If your finances are in a mess, and you have no idea of your income and expenditure then the first thing a financial advisor will tell you to do is to sort out your paperwork and set up a budget. It's the same for sleep - if you want to attract more sleep into your life, then a peaceful tidy bedroom is going to be preferable in helping you relax and unwind after a busy day rather than a messy dumping ground! I would really encourage you to make your bedroom a place for sleep.

Take out the computer and the television

Go through your wardrobes and donate old clothes to charity (let someone else benefit from it!) 

Go through books and get rid of the ones you will not read again

Be brave and find out what is under the bed

Are there other places you can keep the ironing board and vacuum cleaner? (Can you clear a space elsewhere?)

Hopefully there won't be too much to do, but if it does seem like a daunting challenge start with one drawer or cupboard and see how much better you feel after completing that. I promise you, you will.

So arm yourself with a binbag for things to throw out, a box for charity donations and a box for recycling, put on some energetic music that makes you want to dance and have fun! 

If you would like moral support, motivation or just a plain old kick up the backside to get you started then why not join our Clearing the Clutter for Sleep live event (for free) on Saturday 28th September? Click here for more details. 

Sweet dreams.

My insomniac lifestyle

In order to start a blog about sleep and to explain my chosen niche as a sleep coach, I need to explain a little about myself.

I was an insomniac for as far back as I can remember, it really did start as a child - which does make sense. My parents were keen on early bedtimes for us as children, I think, like most parents, it was a mix of wanting an evening to themselves as well as knowing that a good night's sleep is important for children's development. The problem for me was that it got to the point were my sleep needs decreased and I wasn't tired when I was sent to bed. My sister and I would sit and chat and mess around in our bedroom, often earning the rage of our parents, who would frequently tell us "Go to sleep, NOW!" This got me into the habit of not associating bedtime with sleep, and during your childhood your brain is easily programmable - great for learning, not so great for bad habits.
My Dad was a Dr and would sometimes be called out in the night, which led to another habit of waking in the night when the phone went and staying awake till he got back.

By the time I was a teenager I thought it was totally normal to go to bed and not fall asleep for an hour or so. It took a camping trip for me to notice how everyone fell asleep really quickly and I was the only one awake, tossing and turning and not sleeping, though I still didn't think there was anything wrong with this.
Over the years the aspects changed slightly. When I went to college I started drinking several cans of coke each day and not getting to sleep till 5 or 6 in the morning. I'd spend the day in a daze and then sleep better the next night. It was a 2 day cycle of sleep/no sleep. I still thought this was relatively normal.

For some reason (lost in the mist of times) I realised this was not normal and perhaps I was an insomniac. I went to see the Dr who asked me how tea and coffee I drank (not much as I never really liked coffee, and only drank a little tea). He then asked about coke and nailed my sleeping difficulties on that. I came off all types of caffeine at the grand old age of 19.
It helped - I remember my Mum telling me there was a difference in my behaviour and I was much more easier to get on with. However the problem was already too deeply ingrained and I was still not sleeping properly. The insomnia also began to change and it wasn't so much a problem of falling asleep but also one of staying asleep.

Over the following years I have had an interesting journey with insomnia. I learnt coping strategies, tried every over the counter medicine going, argued and cried in Dr's surgeries when refused sleeping tablets, stumbled across odd helpful things (bedsocks!), thrown magazine articles claiming to cure insomnia 'in 5 easy steps' against the wall, brought meditation tapes, lived from nap to nap, tried hypnosis, read lots of books, had meltdowns at work after long stretches of 'bad' nights, missed out on social events as I was 'too tired', laughed like a drain when other people complained of one night's bad sleep, etc. Generally putting a lot of effort into something that most people do easily without even thinking about it.

Recently a combination of different strategies has helped me enormously and I now sleep well with the occasional bad night. The world feels so different!! It has been through a mix of CBT, EFT and LOA processes, that helped me discover the causes of my bad habits and gave me powerful ways to retrain my mental thoughts and attitudes to sleep.

Over the coming weeks I will share the journey that I went through and hope you will learn from it too. Please enjoy, feel free to comment, and to any other insomniacs and ex-insomniacs out there, please feel free to share real tips and ideas that have helped you.

I am putting together a sleep well coaching programme, if you are interested in this or in working with me 1-1 to help change your sleeping habits, then please contact me.