What are you telling yourself?

So, you've had a bad night's sleep, the alarm was unwelcome and you're about to face the day.
What are the thoughts going through your mind right now?

When I work with my clients, we look at their 'mental chatter'. Those thoughts that race through your head at any given moment.
'Need to buy some tomatoes, oh, and some broccoli, mustn't forget to book the dentists appointment, don't glare at me - how am I supposed to know you were going to step out of the door without looking, wonder where she got that coat from...'
You know the stuff.

Though it may seem pretty mindless stuff, it can actually be very powerful stuff, as this mental chatter and internal thoughts go a long way to programming your brain and how you feel.
If you are dwelling on an unpleasant situation and going over and over it again, you rapidly bring your emotions and feelings down into a negative spiral.

For example - spend a few moments thinking about the last time someone was rude to you. What did they say? What was their body language like? How did you react? How did you feel at the time? What would you do differently?
Now take a big breath and note how you feel right now. Are you angry, do you feel tension in your body, how positive or negative do you feel? Isn't it amazing that the person is not here with you, the situation is in the past, but you still feel all those emotions.

Now, think about the last time you laughed. Was it something someone did or said? A joke you heard, or a picture you saw? Was it a comedy show on tv? Did you laugh out loud, was it a real belly laugh?
Take a big breath and note how you feel this time. Do you feel happy? How positive or negaive do you feel? How different do you feel to a moment ago when you were thinking about the other situation?

I hope you can understand what I'm getting at.

So how does this relate to sleep?
Well, picture yourself having had only 5 hours sleep. It's the following morning, how do you feel? What emotions are going through you? The alarm goes off and what are you telling yourself? What is your 'chatter' saying?
Is it saying - Only 5 hours, how am I going to cope? I felt I was awake all night. How am I going to be at work? I feel so tired, I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day?

Or is it saying - 5 hours sleep, well that's 5 hours more than no sleep. At least I got some sleep. As I have slept, I know that I'll get through the day because I've done it before. Several times in fact.

Can you see the difference between the two sets of thought patterns. If you can start to shift from the first to the second then you are on your way to changing your mindset from one of an insomniac to one of a sleeper. And that's a step towards more sleep! You see a good sleeper doesn't worry about how much sleep they get. If they have a poor night's sleep (which they do) they don't worry about it, or start obsessing about it, they know they will sleep ok the next night. When they are talking to their friends they don't go on about a lack of sleep, in fact they probably don't mention sleep at all, unless asked.

From my experience it was difficult to start the shift of changing my internal chatter but I persisted and soon got the idea. I monitored my thoughts and would catch myself and then started to look for the positive things about how much sleep I got. Little by little it got easier to do. I began to feel more positive about my sleep and how much I was getting. I started to notice that I didn't feel so gloomy in the mornings, that I felt lighter. That in general my morning thoughts were more positive and I didn't get stuck in negative thought patterns, and if started to think negatively (about anything) that I would catch myself and start thinking about more enjoyable things. Now when I wake in the morning I scan my body to see how I'm feeling and take that as my starting point rather than trying to remember if I woke in the night or not.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not leaping out of bed saying 'Yee hah, I got 5 hours sleep last night, I'm on fire!!' but the changes that I have made are notable. If my mental chatter does start drifting into the 'Only 4 hours sleep mode' I am able to quickly start reassuring myself that I will be able to cope. I also remind myself that I have been sleeping well, that this is a rare night etc.

What has been amazing is that by focusing on what sleep I am getting, rather than on what sleep I'm not, is that I am getting more sleep. It is simple 'What you focus on expands' and if you focus on a lack of sleep, that's what you see and if you focus on sleep, that's what you see.

Please try this for yourselves and note the differences in your feelings about sleep and how this impacts on how you cope with the day. Remember that this is the first step in changing your mindset, so congratulate yourself each time for doing it.
I would love to know how you are getting on either so please comment below or send me a message on facebook.

Till next time
Sweet dreams

What's your sleep story?

One of the fascinating things that I have discovered when talking to people about their sleep, is how different everyone's sleep history is.

During my insomnia days I wanted to put my head on my pillow, fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours - 'Like everyone else did!' However, the more I talk to people about sleep, the more I realize that not many people do sleep for 8 hours straight.

It is much more likely that people have individual quirks when it comes to sleep - needing the temperature just right, sleep talking, snoring, delays in going to sleep, waking in the night for no reason, being woken by strange noises, habits changing over time, needing sleep rituals... The list seems almost endless. What I have found reassuring about this is that even if I have felt alone at 3am and felt like I was the only person awake at that time, that actually I'm not, and that other people have their sleep stories too. I have found that really reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one. It also helped reduce my stress over sleep and, strangely, made falling asleep a little easier.

I have asked some of my friends to share their sleep stories - what affects them, how they overcame sleep disturbances, funny stories of sleep talking/walking etc. I will be adding more stories over the next few weeks, so if you have an interesting, unusual or funny story that you would like to share, then please contact me, I'd love to talk to you about it!

Here is the link to the first few stories.
http://www.charlottewelply.com/sleep-stories.html

Hope you enjoy listening to them and remember to check back regularly for more stories!

Sweet dreams

More pillow talk!

Last week we looked at different pillow types and how, depending on your sleep style, they can help improve the quality of your sleep.
This week we'll be taking a peek inside your pillows and see what they are made of!

The allergy debate - it has been recomended that allergy sufferers avoid down and feather pillows, but I would suggest that you experiment with this. An old boyfriend had terrible asthma and had synthetic bedding - which I always found uncomfortable to sleep with, but he never had any problems sleeping with my bedding (a combination of feather and down pillows and duvet). If you have an allergy then you tend to have very specific triggers and if feathers and down set of your allergies then there are plenty of alternatives.

Feather and down have traditionally been used in pillows. They provide plenty of loft and support and allow for good airflow in the pillow. They can be squashed and reshaped easily to provide support where you want it. They do however, lose feathers and support over time. They are easily washed and dried.

Synthetic pillows - this has long been the alternative of choice for allergy sufferers as they are a low allergen risk, easily washable and can be quite cheap. They are available in different lofts and supports, so you can chose one that will help support your head. They are less easy to mold and shape and can bunch in places after a few washes. You do get what you pay for and cheaper pillows will not last as long.

Memory Foam - as Memory foam becomes cheaper to make it is becoming a more viable option for bedding, but you need to do your research to pick the pillow that is right for you. Too dense a foam and it can stop providing support and block air circulation around your head causing you to sweat more. There are also some poor quality, cheap brands on sale. This can be a good option for those who have neck and shoulder pain as you nestle into the foam as it molds into your shape.

Cotton filling - this is making a come back as it used to be a traditional filling choice and is now popular with those looking for a more organic lifestyle. It has a natural breathing ability and can help keep you cooler on hot nights. Over time the filling can become more compact and harder to sleep on.

Wool filling - Not only is wool light and fluffy as a pillow filler it also has a natural wicking ability taking moisture away from your head when you sleep and keeping you cool. This wicking ability also makes it an unsuitable environment for dust mites, so is a good choice for an allergy sufferer.

Natural latex - You can get 3 different types of pillow, one with a firm central support, one that is contoured and one that is shredded (mimicking a down pillow). Natural latex is flexible, provides good support and lasts a long time. It also  absorbs moisture, regulates heat, circulates air and so inhibits the growth of mould and mildew. It is also a natural dust mite repellent.

Buckwheat and millet - these have been used in Asia for long time. The grains move around in the pillow, cradling your head and neck, so providing support as you move around during your sleep. They can be noisy and so are often used as an inner filling with an outer filling of cotton or wool.

These have been a few suggestions, if you know of any others that have really helped improve your sleep, then please feel free to comment below!

Sweet Dreams.

Pillow Talk!

Did you know that you should replace your pillows every two to three years? Nope, me neither! I was looking into this the other day and there seems to be quite an online debate about this, but the general rule of thumb seems to be that if it's not giving you support then it should go. It also seems that synthetic pillows wear out more quickly than feather ones.

In order to stop those pesky little dust mites taking over, then they should be washed and tumbled dried every few months and special pillow protectors will also help cut down on allergens and mites as well as extend the life of your pillows.

If you are looking at replacing your pillows then what sort should you go for? It seems that there is a type for every kind of sleeper. Even hotels are getting in on the act these days and have pillow menus for you to choose from. It is important to get a pillow that meets your needs as something as simple as giving your head and neck the correct support will help improve your sleep.

This week I'll look at different pillow shapes and next week we can look at different fillings, to help you choose the correct pillow for you.

Traditional rectangular pillows
These pillows suit a lot of people. You should check how firm and how high it is, if it is too high and has no give it will distort your neck and be uncomfortable to sleep on. If you sleep on your front, you should choose a thin pillow (you may even not need a pillow at all). Natural fillings can be pushed and molded to provide support where you need it.

Contoured rectangular pillows
I changed to one of these a few years ago and really miss it if I am traveling! These tend to cradle the head by having a dip in the middle and a high edge to support the neck. These suit people who sleep on their sides or back and ensure the spine is in alignment all the way through the neck and down the back. They do come with different fillings providing firm to medium support.

V shaped pillows
These offer great support if you need to sleep in a more upright position and can help aid sleep if you have a chest complaint or acid reflux. They are also popular amongst pregnant and breast feeding women.

Bolster pillows

These are long thin tubes that come in various lengths and fillings. They can be molded around your body and support you in a variety of ways. They are a classic means of supporting the neck but can also be used by a side sleeper, being tucked between the knees (to stop them rubbing), and by pregnant women (supporting the abdomen). If you sleep on your back, then a smaller one can be used tucked under your knees to relieve pressure on the back.
My friend used one when on holiday in Morocco and found it helped his sleep so much he brought one when he got home.

Boyfriend pillow
Ok - this one is a bit of a novelty factor, but does provide support for a side sleeper!

And before I get accused of sexism - here's the male version, a lap pillow!

As I mentioned, I use a contoured pillow for my head but also have a down pillow that I hug!
What is your favourite pillow type, what works best for you?
Please use the comment box below and pass on any pillow tips!

Until next week.

Sweet dreams

Unusal ideas to help you sleep

If, like me you are tired of tips and recommendations that include the usual 'Avoid caffeine after lunch' and 'Don't exercise late in the evening' then here are a few ideas that are a little bit more unusual and have worked for me!

1 Bedsocks - I came across this solution by chance and am so glad I found it. About 10 years ago I saw some bedsocks on sale (which I had never seen before) and thought they looked cute, so brought some. To my surprise they helped me fall asleep more quickly and I slept better. Apparently this is because as you sleep your circulatory system slows down and keeps your blood supply in the core of your body, but you need to drop your body temperature to sleep, so having warm feet (and hands) encourages the blood supply to the extremities and cools your core temperature. I am now a big fan and recommend them to any poor sleeper. It is now possible to buy them quite easily, however I would suggest loose fitting cotton ones as the synthetic ones make my feet hot and sweaty and so do not work as well.


2 Cherries - I am lucky enough to live an area where Spring means it's cherry time and the fruit stalls at the market are overflowing with yummy cherries but did you know that tart cherries contain significant amounts of melatonin (the hormone that helps you sleep). A study at the School of Life Sciences at Northumbria University, has shown that a glass of unsweetened cherry juice morning and night helped increase sleep by 25% and improved sleep quality. Why not see if this works for you?

3 Repeat the word 'the' - If you can't sleep because you have repetative thoughts going round in your head and can not seem to shut them off, try repeating the word 'the' to yourself. It is a neutral word and has no associations so helps turn the repetitive thoughts off. I've tried to think of other words to use, but this is the best one!

4 Sitting on a stool - So, you're all tucked up in bed and can't fall asleep. How about getting up and sitting on a stool for 15 minutes? The theory is that your body would rather be anywhere than sitting on a stool in the middle of the night and so is more willing to go back to sleep when you go back to bed. Use a stool - so you don't get comfortable, do not turn on the lights,read, wrap yourself in a blanket, or do anything to make it a more pleasurable experience as your body would prefer to do that. It has to be a slightly unpleasant experience to work. I tried it and it does work, but, strangely enough, I don't like doing it!

5 Scripting - If you can not sleep because you have a big occasion the next day and are worried about it, then try writing out the 'script' of how you would like it to go. Pretend that you are a Hollywood filmwriter and write out your perfect day/scenario. Really get into the feeling of it, write down who is going to be there with you, what is going to be said, what the outcome will be. Only write positive things ie - if you have a meeting to discuss a pay rise, then imagine it going well, your boss is willing to listen, you present your case well and s/he agrees and suggests a figure that you are happy with. Play with it and try different positive outcomes that could happen. Ideally do this before you go to bed, but it can be done if you wake in the night. Your brain and body will feel more relaxed and in control and so help enable sleep.

I hope some of these suggestions are new to you and do comment below if you try them out!

Sweet dreams.