Routines - how they can liberate you

I've been having thoughts along these lines in different areas of my life for a while now, and would like to share how they help with sleep too.

In a former life I used to work with parents, helping them improve their children's behaviour and one of the most common problems was that there was little or no routine in the house. Bedtimes and wake up times were erratic, mealtimes were whenever someone felt like cooking, in fact the only routine seemed to be around school (if there were school aged children in the home) and weekends ended up as one long blur.

When I asked these parents why there was no routine the common response was that they wanted to be 'spontaneous' 'live in the moment' and 'have fun'. There was also a popular theme of having a strict upbringing and wanting to be different with their children. However having no routine meant that the children were insecure, not sure what was happening and this displayed itself in their behaviour. I often found myself explaining that if you had no routine you couldn't be spontaneous, throwing in something different to do just added more chaos to the mix. Conversely if you have a good routine going, then saying to yourself one evening 'Let's jump in the car and go to the beach' is spontaneous and a fun and different thing to do because it is not the norm. It makes it more fun and more special and a brighter memory.

So what does this have to do with sleep?

Our brains and bodies need a structure to work round. For an adult the most obvious and defining point of this structure would be being asleep and being awake. then work and mealtimes, after that it is your free time and how you chose to spend it.

However - if your sleep times keep changing or are erratic then this begins to throw the whole routine out. If you are constantly changing your sleep times your body does not know what is happening, it is confused and doesn't work as well. Just like the children being cranky and displaying difficult behaviours when there is no daily routine.
As discussed in previous posts our bodies need triggers and reminders that it is time to sleep or time to be active, which is why good bedtimes routines can help adults as well as children. It is why shift workers have such problems sleeping as they are constantly changing their body rhythms.

I used to fight long and hard against the concept of any daily routine, especially in regards to sleep. I would tell myself that it was impractical to have a regular bedtime and wake up time, if I was actually sleeping - why wake and stop that. When on a week's holiday I could quite easily stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning reading and then wake up mid-morning, have a nap in the afternoon (because I had gone to sleep late) and go to sleep even later the next night. Within a couple of days my sleep patterns would be out the window and I would be cat napping when ever and where ever, but not getting a good night's sleep. The end result was that I would go back to work feeling exhausted, despite having had all that extra time to sleep!

Last year I took a good hard look at what was going on and decided to redefine my sleep routines. Though it was hard to admit, I am no longer a teenager and all night parties two or three times a week just don't happen any more!
So I looked at my work schedule, took into account my night owl tendencies and came up with a plan that I would get up at 8.30am at the latest. Every day. It seemed really tough for me at first but it has worked. A couple of days a week I need to get up earlier for work but I tell myself this is the exception, not the norm. On the weekends and the days I work from home the alarm is set for 8.30. It is easier to set up a regular getting up time, than a going to sleep time.

I won't lie and say it was easy. There were times I longed to stay in bed and sleep some more. It wasn't quick either, but I have stuck with it and it is paying off. My sleep has really improved!

I now get tired in the late evenings and actually want to go to bed (depending on how busy the day has been it varies between 11 and midnight). Though I do wake in the night, it is briefly. I now tend to wake before the alarm - something that I thought I would never say, and have some time in that nice drowsy state that used to happen after a lie-in, so I'm not missing out on that. The urge to nap has decreased and if I nap now, it is usually after an early start. I still have the occasional bad night, but it is now once every couple of weeks rather than several times a week.

The strange thing is that I now don't feel as if I am depriving myself of anything. I really thought that would be a problem (and in the early days it was hard) but as I am sleeping in more of a block, I wake up more refreshed and am able to achieve more and do more with my day.

The added bonus is that if I do pull a late night because of a party etc, it feels more special, like something spontaneous and different! There is a difference between going to bed at 3am because I was mooching round the house as usual and going to bed at 3am because I was out celebrating.

So if your sleep patterns are erratic, then I encourage you to take the plunge and set up a routine and see what happens. Remember, if you want advice or support with this, then please contact me, I'd love to help you get a great night's sleep.

Also if you want some new ideas and methods to help you go to sleep then check out next week's free http://www.worldsleepsummit.com/index.html, which I have set up especially to support people with sleep problems.

Sweet dreams!

The drugs don't work.... (well, not in the long term)

Ok, so I have shamelessly taken the title from The Verve classic - please forgive me.

I've know for ages that sleeping tablets don't cure insomnia, at best they help you get some sleep, but will leave you feeling drowsy, foggy, lethargic and not exactly raring to go. After a while your body becomes used to them and they lose their potency, so higher and higher doses are needed, or to change types.

I have used sleeping tablets in the past. Living in the UK these were difficult to get hold of. I'd be lucky to get a fortnight's supply 'to get back into a sleep pattern', however this never seemed to work. After a few years I had this system going with my doctor where he would prescribe me a pack about twice a year, and I would use half a tablet at a time, normally when I'd had a bad run of nights or had something important to do the next day. This didn't really help change my sleep patterns but was enough to stop me going over the edge. This worked well enough for another few years until one day I was in the doctor's surgery, crying my eyes out, absolutely exhausted from sleeping about 2 hours a night for nights on end and being told that he couldn't give me any more tablets as it was against the new Trust policies.
Then, when asking if there was a sleep centre he could refer me to, being told there wasn't and being presented with some leaflets about reducing caffeine and having a bath before going to bed. At this point I hadn't drunk caffeine for about 15 years. I was so angry that my one source of help, the tablets, were being denied me.

Now, when I look at some of the insomnia forums on the web and see people writing up what combinations and doses of drugs they use to go to sleep, I am quite glad that I was never given the option to go down the taking ever increasing amounts of drugs route. It forced me to look into alternative methods to change my sleep patterns.

Last night I was interviewing a friend and colleague of mine, Warren Broad, who is a clinical hypnotherapist, for my upcoming Sleep Summit and he told me why the drugs don't work long term, it was really interesting.

So here comes the science bit -

When going to sleep, your brain slips from being fully conscious into a state of trance, and then into sleep. We often slip into a state of trance during the day without realising it, normally when we are doing something that is repetitive or part of our routine. It is so familiar to us that we don't have to concentrate fully. The example he gave was driving into work. How many times have you got to work and can recall nothing about your journey?

Being in a state of trance is an important part of drifting off to sleep. You have probably been jolted out of this state by a loud noise etc, just as you are drifting off to sleep and have to then take the time to get into that state.

Sleeping tablets work by taking you directly from a state of waking into a state of being comatose, missing out the state of trance. Being comotosed also means that you are unable to dream, which is an important part of sleep. It is the not dreaming that leaves you with this feeling of drowsiness in the mornings, because despite actually sleeping, it has not been a fully restorative sleep. There are also the unpleasant side effects of the drugs themselves such as a dry mouth to contend with as well.

So sleeping tablets can not help long term, as they do not allow the brain to go through the stages needed to drift off to sleep. For most people insomnia is a long term problem and the ability to turn off and drift off has been lost. It is a common complaint for those with sleep problems say they cannot switch of the mental chatter in their brains, and it is the ability to stop this chatter that allows you to go into trance and then into sleep. This is why methods that help you retrain your brain (such as hypnosis and behaviour therapy) have proven to be more effective at helping with long term sleep problems than using sleeping tablets.

If you are interested in learning about methods to help you improve your sleep, then please check out the Sleep Summit here.

At this point I would like to say that there are of course situations where sleeping tablets are the most effective and helpful course of treatment and should be used when prescribed by a doctor. As stated I have used them in the past and been grateful for the sleep they gave me. This article is not intended to replace any medical advice and you must discuss with your doctor first any changes you may wish to make to your prescription. 

Hummingbirds

I have had a couple of conversations with people recently about the whole Night Owl/Morning Lark concept and is it really a genetic thing and is it possible to change and have come across a new term - Hummingbirds. I adore these little birds and loved seeing large flocks of them in Costa Rica. Unfortunately I am not one!

There are people for whom their circadian rhythms are hard wired and they find it difficult to change. Latest studies estimate that 1 in 10 of us is a Lark and 2 in 10 are Owls. The rest hover in-between and can adapt to either situation, the Hummingbirds.

I see this when working in daycare with the young children. Most of the children are Hummingbirds and are lively throughout the day, perhaps slightly quieter first thing in the morning and becoming a little more grisly towards the evening. However you do see outstanding examples of Owls and Larks too.

One little 18 month old is a happy little boy, he arrives in the morning and gets on with his day. He is perfectly sociable and enjoys taking part in the activities and being around the other children. He has his midday nap and when he gets up he is a completely different child, he is far more energetic, laughs, shows his cheeky side, and is generally far more outgoing. It is amazing to watch. With his being so young, his sleep patterns take up most of the day and are standard for a child his age, but watching his temperament and behaviour you can see that he will be someone who comes alive later in the day.

Likewise, there is a little baby of 7 months, who rarely sleeps in the morning. He enjoys rolling around on the floor and playing with the toys. Try and get him to have a morning nap is difficult, put him in his cot and he will cry. You may be lucky to get 15 minutes from him. However he will sleep in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see how this develops but I suspect he will become an Lark.

The Hummingbirds have the advantages of being flexible and adaptable, they can get up early to start a shift, catch a flight etc as well as party till the early hours. The Hummingbird can also adapt more easily to life changes like a staying up late when at college, getting up earlier when starting in the workforce, having early rising children, switching to later sleep patterns when they retire.

I am a hard wired Night Owl and it has been difficult to bring my sleep times forward to Midnight to 8.30am, (my preferred times were 2am to 10am) and at the moment I can not see it getting any earlier. I struggle when on shift patterns and these are only variations of a couple of hours, not a day/night shift pattern such as hospital staff.  The way I cope now is to tell myself that the two days a week that I need to get up before 8.30 are the exception and not the norm. Psychologically that works for me.

Hummingbirds profit well from the modern lifestyle and work well throughout the day. Some Owls and Larks are in jobs that suit their hours but how do you make this work if you are in the 9-5. In reality the best thing to do is to work out your personal timings and when you do things well and incorporate those into your day. These can apply to Hummingbirds too as you may show a slight preference to when you are feeling more alert and when you are feeling more tired.

- You are alert in the mornings? Then use this time to be your most creative, working on projects, compiling reports etc. Then save your more mundane and routine tasks for later in the day when you are feeling tired or sluggish - checking emails, filling in stats forms etc.

- You take a while to get going in the mornings? Instead of staring into space waiting for inspiration use the time for the routine tasks that do not take much effort and save your meaningful and creative work for the afternoons when you are feeling more dynamic.

More and more jobs offer flexible hours and you can also also use these to your advantage.

So which do you think you are - Owl, Lark or Hummingbird?

Ticking bomb

Sorry to be dramatic, but I want to get serious about sleep.

There is yet another story in the press today about how sleep deprivation can affect health. It has been known that lack of sleep can cause heart disease, diabetes, obesity and poor brain function but the mechanics of how this happened had not been clear. The study found that less sleep alterers the genes thus causing the damage (don't worry, I'm not going into a science lesson here.)

However what I found shocking was the amount of sleep deprivation it took to cause these changes. Not because it was a big number, quite the opposite, but because it was such a small number and the changes happened very quickly.

The study examined the results of less than 6 hours sleep for a week. Let's look at that again - less than 6 hours for a week.

How many hours sleep do you get a night? There are many, many people out there who are getting less than 6 hours sleep, night after night. Even if you are in bed for 6 hours, you'll be getting less when you factor in the time it takes to get to sleep.
Had a hard week? Either staying up late to finish a project or partying hard and not catching up on your sleep, then you could be starting the chain of events.

Fortunately it is possible to easily and quickly improve the quality and length of your sleep. Here are some ideas.

1 - set your alarm clock to remind you to go to bed! Use the alarm function on your phone to set a time to stop working and start going to bed.

2 - switch of computers and work phones early in the evenings. Not only do the display screens stimulate your retinas and keep you awake longer, you also need to take a rest from work. Studies have shown that quality not quantity counts when working hard and that your work is more productive if are refreshed and well rested rather than sleep deprived.

3 - make your bedroom a calm and relaxing place to be, rather than a junk room. Ban computers and any other work associations. You will sleep better and more effectively if your bedroom is associated with sleep and sex only.

4 - stop drinking caffeine after 2pm, so that it has time to leave your body before bedtime and therefore will not affect your sleep.

5 - if you are an insomniac or have another sleep problem then ask about behavior therapy programmes as these have proven to be the most effective, long term way to improve your sleep. The medical world is waking up to the importance of sleep and there is a lot more support and help available than ever before.

Wishing you a great nights sleep!

Lucid Dreams

One of things I love about sleep is dreaming. I've been interested in my dreams since I was a teenager and in fact started learning how to recall them and interpret them at that time. It is a skill that can be easily picked up - just like learning a new language, in fact dream interpretation books are often called 'dictionaries'! I talked about it in this previous post.

As I became better at recalling and recording my dreams, the dreams themselves became more vivid and more real. They no longer are a hazy, shadowy image but clear and bright in my mind. I began to fix things that were anomalies in the dream. Maybe I would be in a boat and the river dried up, so I would create a dam upstream that was holding more water, so that the boat would float again. I often liked to go flying. At first it would be short leaps from tree to tree and as I became more confident I could fly longer distances.Flying over the sea at sunset is a favourite dream, flying up to the clouds and feeling them on my face, or skimming over the top of the waves.

I then read about lucid dreaming, how you could control your dreams and use them for your benefit and advantage - to overcome fears and anxieties, to learn new skills, to become more creative. I thought that sounded great and tried to learn to achieve a state of lucidity. I read up on how to do it and set about applying it to my dreams.

To start controlling your dreams and to achieve lucidity you have to be aware that you are dreaming. The recommended way to achieve this is to have a dream symbol - something unusual that if you see it in your dream then your brain trigger tells you that you are dreaming. A classic example of this is in the film 'Inception' where Leonardo DiCaprio's character has a small spinning top. If it stays spinning then he knows he is in a dream (as in real life it would stop spinning and fall).
I tried this method and a couple of others but none of them appeared in my dreams. I was confused. Then when I was listening to the radio one day, a guest was talking about lucid dreaming and perfectly described my learning to fly story, I realised that I was already lucid dreaming. That I was able to control my dreams. That I was already doing these things, so trying to add dream symbols into the equation was just making something I could already do more complicated.

I have to admit that I haven't done that much with my lucid dreaming. I am very impressed when people talk about creating whole new fantasy worlds and filling them with characters and people. It all sounds a little tiring to me, I guess I'm just lazy. I have used them to play out scenarios, trying to see what the outcomes of certain courses of action would be and that has been useful. I have used them to meet people and have a conversation with them, which has been amusing, mind you I haven't told my friends that I've arranged to meet them in my dreams, it sounds a little creepy. Guess they'll find out now though!  I'm not a great painter or artist but have heard that dreams can be a great source of inspiration for new pieces of work or story plot lines.

I have heard of lucid dreams being used to overcome fear and anixiety, apparently it is really successful at helping people who suffer from nightmares - as having control over your dream takes away the horror.
You can also use your dreams to solve difficult problems and find solutions for things that are bugging you. Simply asking your dream to show you a way to deal with something can provide unusual and creative answers.

If you would like to know more about lucid dreaming and how to start controlling and using your sleep 'down time' then why not join me on a new short, 4 week course that I'm running. The details are here.

Don't think that I spend every minute of my dream life solving problems, overcoming fears and learning new skills. Most of the time I like the unexpectedness of dreams and the bizarreness of things that can only happen in dreams. Yep, the lazy part of me showing up, even in my sleep!

Exercise and sleep.

It's an established fact that exercise can help improve your sleep. It makes sense. You feel tired after exercise, you have worked your muscles and your heart but do you sometimes have a great workout, feel exhausted yet find yourself staring at the ceiling and unable to sleep? The truth is that your body needs time to rest and recover after exercise.

So the really question is not - what is the best exercise for sleep? But - when is the best time to exercise to help sleep?

The answer depends on the type of exercise you have chosen.

Vigorous workouts within 3 hours of going to bed can actually hamper your efforts to sleep - you will have a raised heart rate and higher body temperature, both of which hinder sleep.
While exercising in the morning can help reduce stress and if this is combined with spending time in daylight it can help set your bodyclock naturally.

Cardio type workouts that raise your heart rate such as running, aerobics and weight training should be done earlier in the day to give your body time to relax and wind down before going to bed. It is possible to time this to perfection and working out in the mid-afternoon to early evening can really help you sleep better as your body will naturally be cooling down at the time you are getting ready to sleep.

This may be difficult for most people due to work and family commitments, so follow the general guidelines of exercising 3 to 4 times a week and at least three hours before bedtime. If you hit the gym after work, make sure it is straight after work and you allow time to wind down, or chose a gentler class or programme.

It is possible to do a workout later in the evening, but these need to be calming exercises such as gentle yoga, pilates and stretches which all help your body relax and unwind before sleep. Care needs to be taken with choosing these exercises as some types of yoga can actually be dynamic and quite aerobic, so discuss this with your gym instructor or trainer in to how appropriate your chosen activity is for aiding sleep.

I have seen an improvement in my sleep since joining a gym over a year ago. I prefer to go during the daytime and the only evening time class I do is a yoga based one, which though I feel slightly invigorated immediately after the class, I also feel relaxed and sleep well a couple of hours later.

As with any type of exercise, please consult your doctor before taking up any exercise if you haven't exercised in a while or are over weight.

Sweet dreams.

Does the way you sleep show your personality?

Though there have been recent studies into sleep positions and personality traits  (one commissioned by a hotel chain), I believe things are a little more complex than the results claim. For me - I can go through several sleep positions in one night, especially when I was an insomniac, does this make me a mix of all the personality types? Who knows!

So - for a little bit of fun here are the results!

Fetal position
Sleeping curled up on your side.
Said to show a need to destress by reverting back to a stress free time when in the uterus. The more tightly curled up you are, the more stressed you are. Can be difficult to get to know, but very sociable with family and friends.

Yearner
Again lying on your side but more open and you have your arms stretched out in front of you, as if 'yearning' for something.
Said to show a confident nature, with a hint of suspicion. May take a long time to come to a decision but then will not change their minds.

Log
Lying on your side with your ams and legs in a straight line.
An open and sociable person but can be too trusting with others.

Starfish
Lying on your back, arms and legs spread.
Listeners bit so they can give advice, often believe themselves to be king or queen in their environment.

Solider
Lying on your back, straight legs and arms alongside your body.
Reserved and introverted, don't like giving things away. They have high standards of themselves and are perfectionists and can be hard on themselves.

Freefaller
Lying on your front, head to one side, normally with legs spread and arms wrapped round a pillow.
A good listener who is open to new ideas. Tends to be someone who stays in the background. Can feel like life is happening around them and they are hanging on for the ride.

Does your sleep position match your personality? Please let me know!
Remember this is just for fun.

Sweet dreams