I've been having thoughts along these lines in different areas of my life for a while now, and would like to share how they help with sleep too.
In a former life I used to work with parents, helping them improve their children's behaviour and one of the most common problems was that there was little or no routine in the house. Bedtimes and wake up times were erratic, mealtimes were whenever someone felt like cooking, in fact the only routine seemed to be around school (if there were school aged children in the home) and weekends ended up as one long blur.
When I asked these parents why there was no routine the common response was that they wanted to be 'spontaneous' 'live in the moment' and 'have fun'. There was also a popular theme of having a strict upbringing and wanting to be different with their children. However having no routine meant that the children were insecure, not sure what was happening and this displayed itself in their behaviour. I often found myself explaining that if you had no routine you couldn't be spontaneous, throwing in something different to do just added more chaos to the mix. Conversely if you have a good routine going, then saying to yourself one evening 'Let's jump in the car and go to the beach' is spontaneous and a fun and different thing to do because it is not the norm. It makes it more fun and more special and a brighter memory.
So what does this have to do with sleep?
Our brains and bodies need a structure to work round. For an adult the most obvious and defining point of this structure would be being asleep and being awake. then work and mealtimes, after that it is your free time and how you chose to spend it.
However - if your sleep times keep changing or are erratic then this begins to throw the whole routine out. If you are constantly changing your sleep times your body does not know what is happening, it is confused and doesn't work as well. Just like the children being cranky and displaying difficult behaviours when there is no daily routine.
As discussed in previous posts our bodies need triggers and reminders that it is time to sleep or time to be active, which is why good bedtimes routines can help adults as well as children. It is why shift workers have such problems sleeping as they are constantly changing their body rhythms.
I used to fight long and hard against the concept of any daily routine, especially in regards to sleep. I would tell myself that it was impractical to have a regular bedtime and wake up time, if I was actually sleeping - why wake and stop that. When on a week's holiday I could quite easily stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning reading and then wake up mid-morning, have a nap in the afternoon (because I had gone to sleep late) and go to sleep even later the next night. Within a couple of days my sleep patterns would be out the window and I would be cat napping when ever and where ever, but not getting a good night's sleep. The end result was that I would go back to work feeling exhausted, despite having had all that extra time to sleep!
Last year I took a good hard look at what was going on and decided to redefine my sleep routines. Though it was hard to admit, I am no longer a teenager and all night parties two or three times a week just don't happen any more!
So I looked at my work schedule, took into account my night owl tendencies and came up with a plan that I would get up at 8.30am at the latest. Every day. It seemed really tough for me at first but it has worked. A couple of days a week I need to get up earlier for work but I tell myself this is the exception, not the norm. On the weekends and the days I work from home the alarm is set for 8.30. It is easier to set up a regular getting up time, than a going to sleep time.
I won't lie and say it was easy. There were times I longed to stay in bed and sleep some more. It wasn't quick either, but I have stuck with it and it is paying off. My sleep has really improved!
I now get tired in the late evenings and actually want to go to bed (depending on how busy the day has been it varies between 11 and midnight). Though I do wake in the night, it is briefly. I now tend to wake before the alarm - something that I thought I would never say, and have some time in that nice drowsy state that used to happen after a lie-in, so I'm not missing out on that. The urge to nap has decreased and if I nap now, it is usually after an early start. I still have the occasional bad night, but it is now once every couple of weeks rather than several times a week.
The strange thing is that I now don't feel as if I am depriving myself of anything. I really thought that would be a problem (and in the early days it was hard) but as I am sleeping in more of a block, I wake up more refreshed and am able to achieve more and do more with my day.
The added bonus is that if I do pull a late night because of a party etc, it feels more special, like something spontaneous and different! There is a difference between going to bed at 3am because I was mooching round the house as usual and going to bed at 3am because I was out celebrating.
So if your sleep patterns are erratic, then I encourage you to take the plunge and set up a routine and see what happens. Remember, if you want advice or support with this, then please contact me, I'd love to help you get a great night's sleep.
Also if you want some new ideas and methods to help you go to sleep then check out next week's free http://www.worldsleepsummit.com/index.html, which I have set up especially to support people with sleep problems.
Sweet dreams!
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